Beware, thank you for joining in the discussion. Good points about finding solutions. This stood out:
it can be okay to not know the answers
I wish JWs were "allowed" to feel this way. Bible students aren't even allowed to feel that way. How many times have you heard of a study who has been through multiple books, knows the local friends, attends some meetings, lives a good life, but never takes the dip because of some small hangup on a JW doctrinal issue. I shouldn't even call it a hang up. They have every right to their viewpoints. But not to JWs they don't. If someone disagreess with a JW, then that person is wrong because if the Society says it's true, it's true. A JW is at risk even admitting that they maybe just aren't convinced by the current printed explanation of a doctrine. If you don't believe something JWs teach, then the problem is with YOU, not with them. That is unfair, dishonest, and a big part of why I'm struggling with having to dispense this stuff on a regular basis.
This thread has been very helpful to me as it has made me realize that I can't go on like this for the rest of my life. If I don't change something, the best parts of my life will begin to suffer. What that change is and when it will happen is yet to be determined. I sincerely thank everyone who has read and/or posted on this thread.