by LivingTheDream 49 Replies latest members private
LivingtheDream,
I apologize. I should have said it didn't make me feel any better.
Unlike you, I lost the years I should have been attending College doing alternative military service for two long years after I was convicted and sentenced for draft evasion during the Vietnam era. After that, the responsibilities of marriage and later, a family and stuff gave me reasons to delay any college.
I was basically a lazy ass whiner. But I'm still smart!
Farkel
WasAnElderOnce,
Point Taken. Sorry if I did that to you guys.
LivingTheDream
When I was growing up, my brother was praised to the hilt...he was very smart, and was encouraged in his goals of college. He now has his Master's degree in Engineering and has traveled the world designing and setting up computer systems, etc.
On the other hand, I was a girl, and artistic at a time when there were no classes for such...in the 60s. I didn't shine in academics like my brother, and felt that I was stupid. I think that's what drew me to the JWs. The love bombing, simple explanations, and don't worry, the big A is coming, then where will all the worldly smart people be.
After 33 years in "the truth" I finally woke up. I am in college now at 59 years old. From time to time we need to hear that we can make a success of our lives, set goals and reach them, and know that others have done so. Even better if it's before you are almost too old to enjoy the goals.
Thanks for sharing....and for the encouragement! We all have some equivalency of "pockfaces" to contend with who discourage us, and I am so glad that he sits in the KHall with his booby (but probably vacant) wife, and you have a full and rich life due to such hard work and planning!
I'll bet your parents are very proud of you.
Living the dream
I know that not everyone can achieve your level of life but it is nice to know that you can be happy in whatever you chose to do once you leave.
For a lot of us on this board even if we did go back to college we would not have the time left in our lives to be where you are but I took your point to be that it is still not to late to reach out for a better life then what the WT told us to have.
What I mean is the saying that this is not the real life so give up your joy in life to work for free either at Bethel or pioneering and wait until the new system to enjoy the life Jehovah gave us is crazy there can still be so much joy in life and money is not the only way to get it. It takes being free of the mind cult control.
I gave over 40 years of my life to the WT since I was a born in. Should I just lay down now and say well my life is over because I let the 'truth' take it from me. Your story made me understand that I was born into a bad religion but there is hope for everyone. Granted it may not be the life you have but I can still be happy.
I agree with Quandry that your story is enouragement, thanks for sharing too and also it helps to have ones like you spell out what we all know to be true that we all have pockfaces in our halls.
LITS
You and the old pockface aren't friends anymore?
What bothered me while I was a study and attending the Hall is that
so many minorities bought in to the "higher education is of the Devil " racket
how can they forget that there was a time in history in the U.S.A
that it was forbidden for them to be educated, they could be beat,
killed or sold off if they tried to attain it, and that the rights to a good education didn't come
easy. And yet, they let some Bozo's talk them out of a good education
A good education even in this economy is still a great thing to have, it's
still the key to doin' better for yourself.
Quandry,
YOU are an inspiration to me dear lady. College at 59? That's the exact spirit I am talking about that we all should have. Don't let those Mr. Pockface's win.
LifeIsTooShort,
You also have been an encouragement to me. Almost every thread I've done you've just "got" where I was coming from with that thread.
It doesn't matter really what some unknown guy named LivingTheDream has done or not done, it's not a competition. But our lives need to be lived RIGHT NOW. For me, pursuing more in life regarding education, employment, artistic fulfillment, whatever, is a basic human right that was taken from us at JWs. For some reason, many ex-JWs still keep that mindset. I was hoping by this thread to help bust that loose a little.
Pontoon,
Well, Mr. Pockface was my dad's friend and like I said in the story, I never spoke to him again. Really.
I wasn't mad at him for being successful though, because I admired him for that. I was mad at him for not helping me or even encouraging me. It seemed stingy. I told myself that I would never be like that.
My dad doesn't speak to him now though, but that's probably because he's out of the JW life.
Wasblind,
Yes, yes, yes. You got it. Many non minorities might not know this, but even outside the JW life, even for "worldly" minorities, education, self improvent and so on are often discouraged culturally!
So, I had the double whammy of the JW handicap along with the "minorities should be happy with less and not be like the man" crap many of us faced with our own families.
You might know this then that those of us that over come that silly mindset call it the "crawdad in the bucket" syndrome. If you throw a crawdad into a bucket that it could crawl out of by itself, all you have to do is make sure you put three of four crawdads in there. As one tries to crawl out, the others drag him back down. This just goes on and on each pulling the others down. In the end, none of those crawdads get out of the bucket and they are all taken home and eaten.
LivingTheDream
I had an elder like that in my hall, too!
When we first moved to California he was a single dad with two young girls. As my dad was also an elder, our local college professor elder was the first person my parents had over for dinner. (Took over a year until *any* one in the cong invited us - but that's a different story.)
Anyway, after 14 years in the cong, I was in my 30's and taking classes at the local community college. I did not make a big deal of it but just kept taking a few classes each semester. Seemed like it was taking forever to get a two year degree. But I was having fun and mostly just taking classes that interested me. Eventually I settled on a major and started getting serious about completing my AA degree.
Unfortunately, with just a few classes left, I was diagnosed with cancer and my life and social structure changed. Also, my concentration was severely affected. Still, during my 18 months of cancer treatment, I thought I would keep at my classes - just one at a time because of low energy and concentration. One of the classes I needed was a math class and as it turned out, my local elder was teaching one of the classes - so I registered to have him as my instructor. I was also friends with his wife (previously at their house weekly - invited as a social guest). Surely he would at least show a little compassion? Nope. None at all. He was insulting when I would ask a question in class and demeaning when I asked a question privately after class. Me and my bald little head dropped his class after 3 or 4 weeks.
I was a bit shocked. This was a family 'friend'. He didn't have to give me special treatment because of it but he didn't have to add to my burden either. It's not like I was an idiot. I had been taking 2 or 3 classes per semester for a few years and maintained a 3.8 GPA - all while working full-time to support myself. So I was not regarded as a bad student.
Worldly people tend to encourage people who are trying to get an education. Worldly people tend to cut cancer patients a little slack. JW's? Nope. Not a chance. If they've gotten a good head start in a career (before or after joining the JWs), they will not assist or encourage others to do the same (with the *possible* exception of their own children).
Funny how you and I had similar 'difficulties' with a college professor elder. Mine seemed to have had bad acne as a teen, also.
-Aude.
AudeSapere,
Wow, what a coincidence! There might just be MANY elder pockfaces out there yet. I'm bummed about what happened to you but glad you over came everything.
My guess is that there are probably hundreds of Kingdom Halls in the world that have college educated people in them that would at the same time resent any other JW from daring to try to do the same.
LivingTheDream
hi all
i also was affected by the 'evil' college discouragement. i had the grades and drive to be a doctor, lawyer or architect - instead I pioneered away 15 years of youth...
now im late thirties, with family, average technical job and im locked in..
sometimes when i think of what i could have been - i cry.
me.. a full grown man - I cry.
