As my journey to leave the WBTS was in its infancy I was speaking to an old friend who had always been a surrogate mom to me. I had pioneered with both her sons (one of which is now an elder, the other is gay). I was addressing some of my concerns re: the WTS. She was having difficulty convincing me I was wrong, so in the end she said, "Remember. You signed on the dotted line." I was confused what she meant, at first, until I realized she was speaking of my dedication to Jehovah/WBTS. This comment surprised me as she had twice been DF'd for biblically ridding herself of an unhappy marital union.
That comment has come back to me over the months. Is she right? Am I in breach of contract? Tonight it occurred to me that I am not. This relationship that began with my baptism was a bi-lateral covenant: I would give Jehovah and his organization the best years of my life and they would provide a spiritual paradise followed by a literal one. I would give up all the things people in their youth long to do in return for the prospect of future fulfillment. Not only have I not experienced a literal paradise, I have not experienced a spiritual one. In fact, life has been pretty sucky overall. If JW's are the happiest on earth, why did I get so depressed going to meetings and trying to live up to the perfect requirements we are beset with every day?
No, I was not the first to break this contract. I only decided to withdraw before it was too late for me.
