How sweet...Not knowing when family dies....

by DanielHaase 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  WindRider

  Sorry for the pain you are feeling, Daniel. How DARE anyone or any group have the audacity to decide whether you can be at someone's funeral or even be given the chance to spend one last visit with that person before they die!! Sometimes I get so mad I could just scream at the outrage! [>:(]

  After I Da'd myself, one of my closest friends was in the hospital for two weeks, dying from complications of her diabetes. I would have been at her side and NO ONE could have stopped me if I had only known. She and I were so close, closer than I am with my own sister, and she even wanted me there. She begged one of the elders to get a hold of me and he said he would but never did of course.
  Finally, in a stupid and vain attempt to console her, he pointed out that surely she did not want to mar her last moments on this earth by spending any time in the company of an apostate.....she was so weak and sick she finally just gave in.

  I had no idea that she had turned so ill until my estranged husband got hold of me and informed me that she was dead and was buried a week ago. I just burst out in such anguished tears; I just couldnt believe it! She was only 39yrs old. I was shocked and asked him why he didnt get ahold of me when I could have actually seen her one last time?! He said that the elders told him that it would be better if I didnt know.....that way my feelings could be spared by not knowing that I wasnt wanted at the funeral as they would never permit me into the Hall during the funeral. Ah, so it was MY feelings they were trying to protect! Wow! Cant you just feel the love! I have a hard time ever forgiving those elders involved and that is a shame because I am by nature a very forgiving person.

  Sorry, Daniel! Dont mean to be depressing.

  Windrider
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  teenyuck

  outnfree-

  Thanks for asking!

  I wish I knew. She will not speak to my Mom or myself. She and my mother have had a major falling out over my sister's choice of husband..(since she married 23 years ago, my Mom needs to let go..) My mother wrote an e-mail to me about my bro-in-law and said some really nasty things (all true, I have to add-he is a scum bag and took her down a path of self-destruction).

  My mother e-mailed the note to my sister, not me, by mistake! Of course my sis won't speak to her. Or me...I am guilty by association. That was 3 years ago. My sis called me this summer because my Mom sent her a letter telling her I ruptured 3 discs in my back. ( I ruptured the L3 disc, only one) We got back in touch and seemed to have a relationship growing. She made me promise not to tell our mom about her brain tumor. I only gave our mom her phone #. Mom called, they spoke, however, Sis will not forgive me for giving our mother her phone #. (I hate getting put in the middle)

  When she did speak to my Mom in October, it was the only time. She (my sis) then sent some really hateful e-mails to my mom and I and said she never wants to speak to us again.

  She has a tumor above her ear, on the right side. It is the size of a golf ball. Inoperable, however they can do some high-tech radiation. Hopefully, that will extend her life to perhaps a maximum of 5 years.

  The bottom line is no one in my family is in touch with her. She cut everyone off. This is the 5th time since her marriage, so, it is with a grain of salt that I take it.

  The problem is if/when she passes...my brother-in-law will not tell us. I check the newspapers in her area every few days...the obituaries. Just in case.

  Sorry for rambling...however, her getting married was a result of my mom pushing her, because she was pregnant. If mom had only supported her in a time of need and confusion, we might be a closer, happier family. My mom pushed because of the dubs. Typical...