Disfellowshipping Offense

by Had To Go 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  Truth and Justice

  Had to Go,

  I'm sorry you have to go thru such a thing. I have to say that comments made regarding your conscience are correct. It is up to your conscience. If what you are doing requires in any way that you give some act of worship other than God, (Jehovah) then of course you would know already that it would not be right, but we're just talking about a wedding. It is a time of Happiness and Rejoicing.

  I think of Jesus when he sat and ate with Tax collectors, and all your doing is rejoicing over the Marriage of a family member, whether it is in a church or a Hotel.

  When you said the phrase "dedicate yourself to Jehovah", a thought comes to me. Many years ago, the 2 questions they ask about baptism at the assemblies initiates the thought of dedicating yourself to Jehovah, now they use the phrase "dedicate yourself to the spirit anointed organization." I know that in your heart you probably worry about whether you are offending HIM, well look at the whole picture, are you breaking any scriptural laws? I would say "Not in this situation".

  I would not judge your husband, but I can understand that same mentality that I had when I was in the organization. Everything in our life was always marked with the stamp of "Organization Approved" or "Organization does not Approve". It was their Rubber stamp that they would use on whatever you chose to do in life. Thankfully, I worship God without their help. I hope it will all work out for you in some way without the pain.

  Happy Trails!! Truth and Justice
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  Black Sheep

  Tell the silly beggar that if he wants to run the risk of having to sit in the back row with with the DFs & DAs just so that he can be with his wife during his indoctrination sessions, then he should go right ahead and report you without even bothering to find a scripture in his Bible that demonstrates that he isn't being a right tw@
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  Borgia

  Well, to a husband it is ... but not to a married JW woman. She has to accept her husbands final say in these matters .... Doing things against your hubbies wishes is ... um ... rebellion which in WT speak is the same as apostacy (note that the NWT has apostasy in the OT where the base thought is rebellion). In such a case you would not be obedient and respecting your hubby. Bad woman! Thinking for yourself like Eve, do you?

  Cheers

  Borgia
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  nugget

  If you husband and spiritual head had forbidden you to attend then that is another issue. In the examples quoted the sisters were able to make a choice for themselves because the person asking them to attend was a non believer. The implication is that in a spiritual household where both are believers then there is no issue since they would not attend. You cannot be Df'd for attending a wordly wedding you can say you sat at the back as an observer and did not participate in the service, if he didn't go he wouldn't know. The elders may want to talk about your disrespect of the headship arrangement but what I would say to your husband is that by turning you in he may well shoot himself in the foot. After all a man does not qualify for privileges if he is not in control of his wife.
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  Amelia Ashton

  I went to my non jw daughter's church wedding (they wanted a nice background for the photos ) with another jw sister and we sat at the back of the church. Busybodies, gossips and elders said nothing, not to my face anyway!
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  Curtains

  Had to go

  I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Elders are required to report everything suspicious even if it concerns their own family - it is part of the JW landscape.

  If you can accept that your husband is displaying his cultist personality then it may be possible to resolve this issue for yourself in your relationship with him.

  Imo it not a disfellowshipping offense to attend church for a wedding but is a conscience matter.

  blacksheep

  Tell the silly beggar that if he wants to run the risk of having to sit in the back row with with the DFs & DAs just so that he can be with his wife during his indoctrination sessions, then he should go right ahead and report you without even bothering to find a scripture in his Bible that demonstrates that he isn't being a right tw@
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  Had To Go

  Newchapter -

  but do you think he may be using your religion to control you?

  I guess it has turned into a control issue at this point. He probably feels like he has lost control of me. I am trying to usurp his headship. He is losing his tight grip.

  We go to marriage counseling this afternoon. Perfect timing. I am not sure what is going to come out of it.
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  Had To Go

  I am surprised that no one has commented on him telling me it is a sin to go to church. He felt I was sinning and he turned me in like he would any JW...even though I have not been to the hall in 8 months and have told him repeatedly that I no longer consider myself a JW.

  He did finally apologize last night right before bed. That makes things a little more tolerable. Not much, but a little. He said he acted hastily. Get this...he said he should have given me the opportunity to tell the brothers myself like the bible says. So I don't guess he was apologizing for turning me in but more so apologizing because he didn't do it in the right way. Even though he knows that I would NOT talk to them anyway. I told him already that I no longer play by their rules.
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  blondie

  As long as you do not participate in the religious services, including prayer, standing when they stand, singing, etc., it is your personal choice, not a df'ing offense even today. The only possible "sticky" issue is that you might "stumble" someone if they saw you there or knew you went...but then in a congregation of 100 there is always some brother/sister who is "stumbling" over what others are doing.

  Many non-jw weddings include a "church" service but I am sure it was not the weekly one.

  If you think the KM said something different please put the reference here. Memories can be faulty. I checked it on the WT-CD and there is nothing in the 2007 KM that I can find.
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  NewChapter

  Yikes, Marriage Counseling. Just the kind of setting that makes a person relax and open up. Just be careful--don't give yourself away until you're ready. Maybe take a copy of the 2007 KM. This way you can limit your argument to THE DIRECTION OF THE FAITHFUL AND DISCREET SLAVE, and you won't run as high a risk of outing yourself. Turn it back on him. Ask him if he is adding more than the necessary things. If the GB is valid, then he should have no problem. I hate when people use scriptures to validate anything they want to do, and to control others.