Did you get a spritual family in compensation for your own?

by highdose 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  highdose

  Theres a scripture much touted by the JW's, goes somthing like " who has not lost brothers, sisters etc and not got tons more etc" ... no i ain't going to bother to look it up.

  This was always offered as a great compensation for upsetting your family with your extreme JW beliefs. but i never found it to be true. Yeah you went to the meetings and your so called spritual family was there. but they didn't really ever connect with you or give you support like your real family would have done.

  Family love is unconditional, you put up with Uncle Dickhead and his arrogant opinions on everything because hes your uncle. And he will always be there as a member of your family. Even if you call him "uncle dickhead" to his face while drunk at the xmas family party...

  The love in the JW's is totaly conditional. Dependant on wether you: attend the meetings regulary, answered up at said meetings, went on the FS, have bible studies, give money to the pioneers, elders, hall, world wide work, CO's, DO's etc etc. Dependant on wether you are a man and therefore useful to them, or a useless woman there to be patronised and subjuated.

  I found mostly the ones who liked to throw that scripture at me, were ones who had their family all in the cult. So being alone in the mist of a whole bunch of so called loveing people meant nothing to them.
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  Satanus

  I always thought that i had good friends, when i was in. I still think that. I understand why they all dropped me, when i left.

  My real family was jw, too, so i never lost them for the wt. I only lost them when i left the jws.

  S
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  Luo bou to

  I lost my family when I left. And as for my friends now, they like me not a JW clone. Did you ever notice that you had no personal value as a witness Only what the Org gave you Didn't matter how talented or successful you were in life
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  nugget

  I had many good friends as a witness and people I was close to. There were people I remember with fondness and love but they were not family because they felt no obligation to me and would withdraw love and affection if I didn't share their religious views.

  There were people who treated you like relatives expecting you to give them lifts and pay nothing or very little. In a family you celebrate achievements and encourage success, you talk about what you feel and think and you get support when everyone else is against you. The witnesses offer none of that which is truly sad.
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  BluesBrother

  A "Spiritual family".....NO Way!

  J Dubs do not understand the family arrangement the way that it is outside...Family ties are always secondary to congregation ties..So what if he is your cousin? If the elders say he is d/f'd, you have to shun him and never speak to him again. The scripture says that it is a guarantee among true Christians, so what does this say about J W's?

  In "Satan's world" families keep in touch , year after year. The "pagan" holidays mean that at the very least one gets two greetings cards per year at Christmas and your birthday. Among the dubs, out of sight too often means out of mind and ties just get forgotten.

  Now, if you are lucky you may make some friends within it (usually because you have the ability to make friends - the shy or socially challenged often go on friendless). Some may have lasting friendships but all too often these relationships die if you move house out of the congregation area.

  At least, that has been my experience in the U K, perhaps others can add their comments?
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  nugget

  I had a study who was elderly , her only family treated her badly but she made the effort to contact the witnesses, give up her worldly boyfriend and attend all the meetings. She wasn't the smartest person or the most glamorous but she was genuine and decent and hard working. she used to sit with us at the meetings and it was very rare for someone to come and talk to her and encourage her. This was a genuine interested person, concious of her spiritual needs and choosing the witnesses but I was so frustrated by their hoity toity attitude. I noticed that younger people studying would get lots of attention at the meetings and if a person fitted into an existing group then they swiftly developed a social life but my study seemed left on the outskirts. Looks cout more than spirituality it seems.
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  C6H12O6

  I did, because they were my only source of support at that time. I was starting high school and had no friends and got bullied a lot. It didn't help that I had a dysfunctional family either. I never went to the counselor's office and avoided telling others about my problems. It was because I was afraid of getting my parents involved, being kicked out of the house, and the wrath of certain relatives.

  I noticed that younger people studying would get lots of attention at the meetings and if a person fitted into an existing group then they swiftly developed a social life

  What nugget typed is so true, I remember being "love atmoic bombed" even though I was mildly interested. Sisters were giving me presents and bags of second hand clothes. I had 4 spiritual mothers who looked after me. The young people group invited me to places and gatherings. No matter how simple my comment was, I got praised for it. There was always a someone willing to give me a ride to the meetings, service, and to my house. I was assigned to a lot of householder parts for the school. Being around the witnesses at the love bombing phase felt so much better than being at home and school.

  Of course, this all disappeared after I got baptized and became part of the R&F / college student instead of a pioneer.

  Then one of the "in crowd" sisters managed get a Bible study and her young children to attend the Kingdom Hall. Instantly, they're love bombed and become celebrities in the congregation.

  There were older Bible studies who attended, but they usually don't attract as much attention as the younger Bible studies. It was pretty sad watching them sit alone with only their Bible teachers and a few would go up and say hi to them.
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  teel

  Fortunately I did not lose my own family, because I have gained no spiritual one. Real love is unconditional, which means I have never lost the real family - unlike the fake love that was dropped the moment I stopped going to the KH.
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  Alwayshere

  My Daughter did, Hope she wakes up but it looks hopeless.
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  truthlover

  Well, I thought it only happened in my congregation Nugget:

  my Family is/was not in the truth -my parents now dead and I must say when I came into the truth, I kinda left them behind...for several years .. my mate grew up in it, I got baptized - all was fine with the world -- the years passed ..well, being an older person now, my grown up child is and has not been baptized - choice as a teenager,does not live close, my mates family - parents dead, well, hear from the brothers once in a while--one brother and sister in law- not for over a year - they are in the "truth"-live 1 hour away, other brother and sister in law - not often either.. guess I was a bad person.. seeing that my mate has now died... it's awful hard being a fifth wheel at parties and get togethers - hang out in the kitchen or find a spot in a corner somewhere....

  All the folks we once hung out with in the truth are either divorced or out of the truth...no contact there either as we were in when they left to pursue other interests......

  you can build a picture out of the rest -- those in the cong who are "friends" would not be so if I left - same story as most

  Conclusion: No spiritual family! The only spiritual I get is studying the scriptures myself...............am very close with my kid tho -- on the phone daily..

  Jesus may have said it, but the brothers and sisters - for the most part --do not live it