Update on my Brother and Cousin...

mindfield

As some of you know, my brother and cousin have been planning to tell their parents about their beliefs (or rather, lack of) about the JW's and their decision not to attend meetings or convert others.

Well, they did it much quicker than I ever expected. They did it before yesterday, to be more precise. Both of them...phew.

I'm proud of them, that they could stand up for themselves alone in front of their parents. However, one thing keeps on nagging me... I left the JW's as a publisher, and that probably had a lot to do to put me more in the system. I think that's why it was much, much tougher for me to do it than them. Theoretically speaking, they were just "studies". I was a full-fledged publisher about to get baptized (or so everyone thought). Mix that with the fact that I'm more of a reasoning guy, and you get a huge challenge in front of you.

That's why, I think, it took me 5 years to do what it took them a couple of months to do... oh well... However, when I question them about their beliefs, I get really weird stuff. Not facts, just theories that make them feel okay. I have nothing against that, but I can't understand the fact that they didn't research anything, just stepped back and said "NO." I had to take a lot of time to convince myself this wasn't the "truth". They, on the other hand...

Oh well... now my parents only have one child still in the "truth"... my sister. However, she's not that strong "spiritually" (got disfellowshipped once) but she's a firm believer. Well, if it suits her, good for her. At least our cong. is not (to my knowledge) one of those "BAD" congs. My uncle, though, is not that lucky... he only has 2 sons, and now they're both "out".

mindfield

Almost forgot...

The #2 talk I wrote for my brother... well, he decided not to do it. i can understand that. He just did another one instead. And that was his last talk...

Hip, Hip HURRAY!

Scully

Wow Mindfield.... wonderful news!

Hope your parents are taking things ok, I'm sure they probably feel somewhat disappointed, but now you have to gently get them to realize the truth about The Truth™.

Love, Scully

In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files

teenyuck

mindfield,

Great! Good for them; and you. Don't put yourself down for the time it took to leave. You did. You are happy and free.

(((hugs))) to you and them!

ashitaka

Cool stuff, my little bro's going to follow them soon...

ashi

amccullough

I thought your post was interesting...I agree somewhat. I have no respect for people who stop being JWs because they have a few doubts, so they up and move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend or do whatever they wanted to, but couldn't as a JW. That just tells me they didn't like the lifestyle and are not all that interested if it is true or not, but more interested in living life how they want to live. Theoretically, that is a pricey gamble. I do respect someone who studies their doubts and comes to a conclusion, whether it is the same as mine or not.

One thing about this discussion board that I've noticed, is that many are happy when others stop being JWs or would like to help people to see why they shouldn't be JW's...it makes me wonder...if you were fooled into being a JW for blank number of years, what makes you so sure that you are not being fooled into another way of thinking now. Because if, by chance, that is the case, then you are costing other people their lives. It makes a person no different than someone who first becomes a witness and then tells everyone from their old religion how they need to change.

A lot of people site bad experiences as a good reason, but most of the problems seem to me to not be related to the religion, but the people in the religion that are around them. A lot of these experiences seem to have the possibility of happenining in any religion where the followers are as actively involved as JWs. I realize this is a blanket statement and is not meant to be applied as such, but for each situation these thoughts should be considered. Perhaps this should have been a new thread...

Cheers,
Andrew

Carmel

Andrew,

While I appreciate your comments about taking a measured and intellectually consistant and comprehensive approach to beliefs prior to making a major decision, consider what the typical teenager is capable of and what is going on in their lives. God, looking back, I'm sure much of the ideas I had that caused me to leave could be considerd by elitists as superficial. Although I was not seeking sexual freedom or merely freedom from parental authority, those were side benefits of getting out of the milue of collective thought control. I was not capable of a comprehensive doctrinal analysis at 14 but I dam sure knew the JW system was based on fear, condemnation of all others and a general inculcation of superiority. So my departure was intuitive at first but later on when I did take up a formal study of religions and their sociological and psychological dynamics, everything I "felt" was substantiated.

regards,

Carm

mindfield

Oh well, guys.. at least they're out... (there goes my tuesday and thursday nights plus my saturday and sunday mornings all alone...

My cousin told me just today that his parents actually threatened to kick him out of the house... They finally decided to keep him in until 18, then if he wasn't a JW, out he goes. Man, how crazy can these folks get??? I could never imagine my uncle and aunt actually saying that. Isn't that against the constitution or something?

concerned mama

I was just going to post about how nice it was that the parents are being so flexible. Oops, scratch that. It might be really hard on those kids, and it is great that they have you to talk to about it.
If those parents do toss him out at 18, it is going to make college very difficult. I sure wish all of you strength in what is going to be some really tough years.

mommy

Mindfield,
Thanks for the update Well I guess they will be stealing your time now I agree with Puffs and don't kick yourself for the time it took you. Remember everyone is different and you actually probably layed the red carpet out for them. You I am sure made it much easier for them to come to a decision.

Andrew,
You said

I have no respect for people who stop being JWs because they have a few doubts, so they up and move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend or do whatever they wanted to, but couldn't as a JW. That just tells me they didn't like the lifestyle and are not all that interested if it is true or not, but more interested in living life how they want to live.

Personally I try to stay away from such generalizations. Precious few have outright told me they left because they wanted to persue a selfish lifestyle(which in itself is not a bad thing) We never can know what another person is feeling unless they tell us. Also I think alot of Ex Jw's don't know for quite some time what to do with themselves.

I remember a talk once...lol It was an illustration of a spring. It likened that spring to a child who you rigidly controlled and held down very tightly. When you released your hold on the child/spring then it usually flew around wild and unmanageable. The point was to slowly release the hold on the spring and when you released it, then it would only wobble a bit, but not fall.

The same can be said for Jw's leaving the org. They are so used to being controlled that they can go "wild" for a time until they slowly go back to place. We are all at different stages, and all of us react differently. I try to remember that, though I fail miserably sometimes and do judge others. Or I will make assumptions based on actions. Which I guess is the only way to do things sometimes, but I do try to take in all factors.
wendy

Update on my Brother and Cousin...

Share this