I cannot stress enough the importance of finding a person who can truly understand the use of "safe words".
Is Being In A "Relationship" Important To You?
by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
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finallyfree!
relationships are all the same in my books...not worth the hassle. most women are only after what they can get out of you, whether that may be money, presents, wining and dining, having a good time, emotional crutch or a stepping stone from the last relationship. it all starts off nice and rosy, then turns to shit.
i have no problem playing their game in terms of having a good time etc..but anything over and above that is off limits for me now. i am of course a jaded s.o.b but hey ive got my reasons.
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minimus
Once the "honeymoon" phase is over, everything is clear.
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miseryloveselders
When I was younger doing the double life thing, a relationship didn't mean much to me. I have to say I feel a little different now though. It's like there's something about a woman calling me, but I don't quite know what it is. Women don't look the same to me any longer. Don't get me wrong, the sex drive is still there, and if not for conscience I'd love to become a serial boinker. Repetitious smashfests. I'd love to give into that, but I swear there are some women I've come across who have qualities I'd love for them to share with me, exclusively. It's like the older I get, the more I appreciate their company.
Granted, I'm kinda going through a needy phase, that and its almost lunch time and I'm starving. I'm taking off work tommorrow, just to get some sleep in and get some things done. I just wish there was somebody to wake up with me, or even when I leave for work, somebody I'd need to drop off at work, knowing later I need to pick her up to. I feel a touch of envy when I see couples on their way home from work. Sometimes my pop gets irritated like, "I gotta pick your mother up from getting her hair done. Every time I start to relax or do something, I either have to go to the bathroom, or pick your mother up." He loves her to death, and something about that seems ideal to me as of late.
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minimus
You wanna settle down.
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DanaBug
"Every time I start to relax or do something, I either have to go to the bathroom, or pick your mother up."
That is too cute!
I don't know how important relationships are to me yet. I've never been the kind of girl that had to have a relationship. But I've only been in one and I'm still in it. It happened fast and I just kind of fell into it. Right now things are getting rocky, so I'm considering how important it is for me, like whether I can survive by myself if things don't work out. I've never broken up with anyone or lived on my own. I'd like to think I'd be just fine on my own, but I really don't know.
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dgp
DanaBug, you'd probably be very well on your own. There are clear advantages. But then, as Falcon said, someone who really understands and supports you is a great thing.
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Scully
I really feel that some people aren't relationship material.
If a person can't stand being alone (in other words, their relationship with their own self is awful) what can they possibly offer another person?
I'm super wary of people who try to glom on to my friendship without giving it time to develop naturally. My gut instinct about them is usually spot-on.
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DanaBug
Thanks, dgp. I think I'll start another thread later, just occurred to me I could probably get some good advice here.
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PublishingCult
No, a relationship is the last thing I'm interested in. I'm sick and tired of being nagged and manipulated in an effort to turn me into something I'm not. I'm happy with who I am. If someone else isn't they are free to move on. That seems to be a concept that some people just don't get. Or maybe they like the drama. In any event, I took myself off the market 7 years ago and I am enjoying a peaceful, quiet home for the first time in my life. -W
I made a distinction a while back when having a relationship was very important to me that sort of goes along with what you say. Many people go into a relationship with the misconception, the false belief that the other person is there to "make them happy", or simply deluded into thinking that they have the power to make the other person happy. What a huge responsibility to take upon yourself! What a burden to put on another human being!
Nobody has the power to make me happy, and neither do I have the power to make another person happy. That is just absurd. You'd better already be a relatively happy person to begin with. I look at it like this; you will never have the power to make me happy no matter what you do or say, however, I just want you to know that I am very happy to be with you. If you expect somebody to make you happy, you are in for pain and dissapointment. If you allow somebody to expect you to make them happy, you are in for pain and dissapointment.