There is an advantage to being a single sister though. Fading,is so much easier,because hardly anyone cares or notices you're gone.
Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 03-20-11 WT Study (SINGLENESS)
by blondie 38 Replies latest jw friends
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AnnOMaly
I know this is off at a tangent but this stood out to me (in view of the new 6/15/2011 kool-aid edition of the WT and youth baptism).
11 Although most young people would
like to marry eventually, there are good reasons
not to rush into marriage. Paul encourages
youths to wait at least until they are
past "the bloom of youth," when sexual desires
are most powerful. (1 Cor. 7:36) It takes
time to understand yourself and acquire the
experience in life that is needed to choose a
suitable mate. Making a marriage vow is a
serious decision, one that should last for
life.-Eccl. 5:2-5.
Join the dots. How much more important than marriage is baptism and choosing a religion?
w68 5/15 p. 307 par. 16 "Fear the True God and Keep His Commandments"
From this consideration it becomes readily evident that being a true follower of Christ Jesus is not the easy course in life. However, it is the right course, and the one that can bring everlasting blessings. But just as Jesus counseled, "Who of you that wants to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense, to see if he has enough to complete it?" so the person thinking about dedication and baptism is called on to calculate what will be required of him. (Luke 14:28) Jesus was a student of the Word of truth, and he well knew the seriousness of the vows made to his Father. In Ecclesiastes Jehovah had caused the words to be recorded: "Whenever you vow a vow to God, do not hesitate to pay it, for there is no delight in the stupid ones. What you vow, pay." (Eccl. 5:4) This must be the view of the person now thinking of dedication and baptism. Regardless of how much longer he may live, or how much longer this wicked system of things may continue, the dedicated Christian must be firmly resolved in his heart to carry out his vow of dedication. No dedication to Jehovah is acceptable with a time stipulation attached. One cannot say he will serve for a certain period of time only. Rather, it is a lifetime promise, and the one coming before Jehovah God is expected to keep that promise.
w88 3/15 p. 14 par. 18 Trust in Jehovah Leads to Dedication and Baptism
Such a baptism is a most fitting symbol of dedication. Going under the water well illustrates a person's dying to his former course of conduct. His being lifted up out of the water pictures his being raised to a new way of life. Even as a wedding ceremony helps to impress their wedded state on a bride and groom, so water immersion before witnesses is likely to make a lasting impression on the baptism candidate. There is no question about it: By the act of being baptized, one's dedication to Jehovah should be indelibly fixed in one's mind and memory as the most important event in one's life. It marks the turning point from serving self to serving Jehovah God.
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WhatWasIThinking
@snakeface, I agree with you. A single person might have more free time than a married couple with children, but there are plenty of married JWs that have no children. One can work and one can stay home and take care of the home. Or both can work and split the chores. I got tired of being asked why I didn't do more for the organization. Between working full-time to support myself, working part-time remotely to keep my dad's business computers running, taking care of the car/house/pets/self, all of the meetings and studying involved, being on the RBC, and being a taxi for all the JWs that had no cars I hardly had time to sleep.
@vampire, I understand what you went through and it sucks. I was closer to 30 than 20 when I was baptised. I was invited to events while I was studying, but after I was baptised the invitations quickly stopped coming. I knew single sisters who complained that they couldn't find a mate but they would only date a MS or elder. They didn't care that my plate was full because I wasn't reaching out enough because I wasn't an MS. They couldn't understand why I couldn't do more because I was single so I must have had lots of free time. But unlike them I wasn't in my late 20s, living at home with my parents supporting me financially, cooking for me, and doing all the household chores. I was invited to events while I was studying, but after I was baptised the invitations quickly stopped coming. One suggested I move back home so I could have more free time. While I'm sure my parents would let me move in with one of them (divorced) if I lost my job in this economy, they wouldn't pay my bills and I would be expected to find full-time work even if that meant working 2 or more low-paying part time jobs. I don't think many of these single ones who get to live at home with no financial obligations realize how difficult the real world can be.
Being single is fine. I see no reason to get married just to be married. Unfortunately the WTs intrepretation of being single is so flawed and misleading. The congregation cannot provide for all of single person's needs, especially when they tend to not include single people in activities outside the hall. It's funny how they say to widen out and associate with people of other age groups, yet they have more cliques than any group I have ever seen. The ones in their late teens, early 20s view those in their late 20s as old. The older ones look at them as kids. And the married ones just ignore them. I much prefer the company of my coworkers. It's nice to go out and do things with people who are in their early 20s to late 50s who don't give a crap about how old you are or your marital status.
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FadeToGrey
After reading everyone's comments I have to say, I have seen and expericanced most of the things said.
I was lucky and got married to the best girl ever when I was 28. We are still togeather and are fading from this sick demented religon.
Looking back over my life and what i have seen and gone though in the JW's it can make one angry at all the shit one sees happening around you.
These JW's think they are so wonderfull and approved of, by this so call JEHOOVAH. yeah right arse wipes they are.
My stupid sister is in this same postion of not finding a mate! Now she is getting way to old so, probably going to be an old spinster. As there cure all the NEW SYSTEM is not going to come and fix it all up. POOR SODS.
I know a few JW's who are in this same sad boat. Poor bastards dont even know there own fate of growing old and lonely and pennieless in this world. Stuck in this blood sucking cult waiting on a fairytail to come and fix it all for them.
It's so sad. Well sad for the ones i know and still care about. Not the arse wipe elders and suck arse's ive seen in my time. They can go to hell!!!
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PublishingCult
“Let him that can make room for it make room for it.”—MATT. 19:12.
The context is marriage, of course. In Matthew 19:12 Jesus lists three types of “eunuchs” that are exempt from expectations and responsibilities of marriage. The WT just sort of skip right over the first part of this insightful passage, and avoided discussing who or what these three types of eunuchs actually were.
(The above quoted Scripture in the article mentions that there are some who do not marry because they have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom, and if we are so stupid as to take that to mean that we not get married so that we have more time and resources for peddling WT publications, then you don’t deserve to get laid, ever, loser.)
Jesus was actually quoting Roman Law, which Jews in that time were made to recognize and live under. Roman Law legally recognized three kinds of eunuchs and they are actually listed and defined in Roman Law exactly in the order that Jesus spoke of them.
According to Roman Law, Jewish Rabbi’s, and Christian teachers in those days, a “born eunuch” was a man or woman, usually a man, who was fully capable sexually, but had no desire for or attraction to the opposite sex. In other words, the known characteristics of a “born eunuch” in Jesus day would be the same traits and behaviors that identify homosexuals today.
Jesus was not saying “eunuchs” get a pass from marriage so they can peddle WT publications more often; he was giving examples of those who are exempt from having to get married (which was expected of all people in order to keep growing the nation of Israel) period. And only one of those eunuchs listed by Jesus and Roman Law listed refrained from marriage/sex for religious reasons. Another eunuch was castrated by his master so he could look after the harem without fear of the eunuch impregnating the wives and polluting the bloodline. The “born eunuch” was generally used for the same purpose, but didn’t need castrating since there was no threat of a homosexual man, who was known to only be attracted to the same sex, having the slightest desire to sleep with his master’s wives. Castrating the “born eunuch” would have been redundant.
This is significant since Jesus was actually acknowledging that some men are born gay, and while Jesus never hesitated to condemn a lot of people for a lot of things, he did not pause here to condemn “born eunuchs” for same sex attraction and or homosexual behavior. In fact Jesus never once condemned homosexuality.
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Sargeant Pepper
I can honestly say that in all my years as a JW I have only met one person who I would consider to be happy & single.
This brother was a CO who men wanted to be like and women wanted to be with. With his smile he could snap knicker elastic from 100 yards!
As for every other singleton, they would have traded their right arm to be married.
Another 'fact' is that rather than being looked up to by the congregation, single people (even those who have pioneered for 25 years) ae often treated as a figure of 'fun'.
My experience of congregations is that there is only a small pool of single people who very often marry at a very young age. In fact if I had not left the JWs whilst in my mid 20s I would probably still be single today.
I think the WTs motivation for the article is due to the organisations poor record of successfull marriages over the last 20 years. I find the amount of divorce and cases of adultery amongst my former peer group quite staggering.
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ziddina
Goody!! Blondie's back!!! Thanks, Blondie!!
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ziddina
Man... After reading the article and everyone's comments, it brings it all back to me...
Being in the Watchtower Society as a single female and realizing that I had a snowball's chance in hell to get married to a decent JW guy...
The term "Double-bind communication" seems most accurate, when describing the Gov.Bod's contradictory and mixed messages about "Christian" marriage and singleness...
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snakeface
WhatWasIThinking, I agree with you. Singles over age 27 or so are usually left out. Singles over 38 at least sort of fall in the group with divorcees and widows, when it comnes to social gatherings.
When I was single and working over 50 hours a week and doing a lot in the congregation (including once a month going in at night and cleaning the entire hall alone) I was putting in about 26 hours a month in service. But I had quite a few nosey older sisters (widows of elders) and some elders who told me to "get rid of" my pets so I could do evenmore in service. My response was, "which ones will you take?" which was met with a deer-in-the-headlight look. None of these had pets, and none of them got anywhere near 26 hours in service.