Weed

rollercoaster

I have been out of the Org., for over a year now. I raised my child in the Org., and she is now 14. I started smoking pot a month ago, and my daughter found out. Of course she was taught that this is sooo bad. Now she is very confused.
I don't smoke recreationaly, I do before bed for sleep. I am now sleeping 6 hours a night, without waking. I tried to explain it to her, but she is feeling very betrayed right now. What can I do? I have been very honest with her when she confronted me.
I was taking sleeping pills, and then having a drink at night, and I feel smoking some pot is a lot safer, and cheaper.
I really need some help with resolving the "do as I say, not as I do" conflict.

Julie

Hi Rollercoaster,

Like any drug there is good and bad. When used medicinally pot can be a very good thing. You need to have a very honest talk with your daughter. Explain the differences between smoking pot and going to class or doing so in order to sleep. It truly is less harmful in many ways when used as a sleep aid in comparison to prescription drugs.

I have talked to my daughter (13) about pot very honestly and about alcohol and the differences. Get some facts on both. You will find out that this nation spends substantially more on alcohol related health problems/tragedies than those of all drugs combined. Of course the alcohol lobby would rather this sort of info not be too widely publicized.

There is a great deal of info out there. I helped my sister in law write her term paper on the medicinal qualities of pot and this argument has raged for years. Ilearned so much in going through her research, much of which ws found on-line. Go on-line and find some facts to present her with. Yes, for the young developing mind all drugs are bad, drug habits are bad (the kind where you *need* it to feel "normal") but pot is a medicine of sorts and should be viewed as such.

If you are a family of believers it would help to point out who made pot (God) and who made the synthetics (man). Who do you trust more??

Honesty is the best policy, I would be as straighforward and honest as possible but be prepared with facts when you approach this discussion.

Best wishes on healing this breech-
Julie

expatbrit

Hi Rollercoaster:

You mention that your use of the drug is not recreational, but to help you sleep.

Obviously, sleep is something that you should be able to do without any artificial help. Mind if I ask what steps you have taken to determine why you are having such trouble sleeping?

Pot may help you sleep, but it would be far better to find out the underlying cause of why you can't sleep.

As for using pot, I personally see no problem with individuals using it for medicinal purposes. However, the legal system has not progressed to that point, and so the fact is that no matter what your personal opinion is on pot, you are still committing a crime. (I think this is still true in the US, is it not?) Perhaps you should listen to your daughter's concerns therefore.

Expatbrit

expatbrit

p.s. You might find it helpful to talk to Mulan, as I think she knows a lot about herbal remedies.

Expatbrit

Pathofthorns

While I know you get a damn good night's sleep if you smoke up before going to bed, and that it seems relatively harmless compared to alternatives, for the sake of your daughter's trust it would be wise to give it up.

A pot-head mother is not something most children would be proud of, and it does send out mixed messages to a young person at a very impressionable age. Justifying your behavior will only make her do the same and you will be a hypocrite in her eyes.

I think Expat's advice to explore the underlying causes of your sleeplessness instead of relying on artificial means to get a good night's sleep would be a wise thing to do.

Path

bitter mango

hmmm, you are in a tough spot. my poppa drinks and drugs infront of us kids all the time. he has since we were very young children. everything from booze to weed to herion . we just saw it as a normal part of daily life when we were growing up, no one ever told us it was 'bad' or 'wrong'. when we got older, of course we knew that drugs and booze can cause problems and blahblahblah.
all i can say is now my two sisters are alcholics, i am a drug addict and my brother is on his way to both. my dad still drinks and does drugs but now he tells us how 'bad' it is and that we shouldn't do it. well, we all know that now, but it's too late for him to preach about when he's doing the same thing. that's totally hypocritical.

I really need some help with resolving the "do as I say, not as I do" conflict.

as a parent it is natural that you are going to tell her not to smoke weed and that it isn't good for her, and i expect that from any parent, a non-smoker OR a smoker ... but she probably will not listen.

my sister and i discussed this the other day actually. we ourselves know basic rules of what is right and what is wrong in the outside world, but when you grow up around something, even if it is deemed wrong outside of your home, but is still being done around you, you feel okay about it.

she's already seen you do it, if she's anything like me she won't respect your "dont do it"s and she'll decide on her own what's best.

hope all works out.

Julie

:A pot-head mother is not something most children would be proud of,

"A pot-head mother"???? She smokes some natural herb to help her sleep and she's a "pot-head"? Let's not get extremist. We're not talking "Half-Baked" here. It is true that it would be better to be able to sleep naturally and the cause for this problem should be discovered and cured. In the mean time, do you think she should instead go to the Dr. and get a script of a synthetic and likely addictive alternative? That is still a dependency on a drug but since it has contributed to the massive pharmacuetical fortunes it is "medicine".

You may or not be aware that in "the olden days" when a Dr. needed to provide medicine for his patients he headed outside and used what nature provided.

:and it does send out mixed messages to a young person at a very impressionable age. Justifying your behavior will only make her do the same and you will be a hypocrite in her eyes.

This is an important point. I do smoke pot sometimes but my children do not know (but I do not drink, just not really my thing). I have talked to them about pot, my views regarding it etc. If and when they find out it will be no great shock to them as they know my views. I do not consider myself to be a "pot-head mother" or anyone for my children to be ashamed of and I am not sending them the message that it is "ok" to do it. I can tell you that using marijuana madicinally is far less incapacitating than the meds Drs. prescribe or alcohol and can be equally or more effective in achieving the desired results. This is what I have told them, but they are also aware that it is illegal. They are also aware of *why* it is illegal and that I disagree with it being illegal. Open honest dialog is very important with your kids on all topics, with their age and ability to understand taken into consideration of course.

Consistency is the key though, it is true you do not want to be hypocritical in your kids' eyes. If Rollercoaster formally talked about marijuana negatively then obviously her situation will be more challenging, if she indeed decides to continue with her chosen method of self-medication. Not impossible by any means though if enough thought and effort is put into it.

Regards,
Julie

rollercoaster

Thanks so much for your replies. I have taken no offense, and appreciate all of the information.
My daughter has never seen me smoke pot. I do not use around her. That would be an even greater insult to her. I wait until she's in bed then step outside.
I haven't had more than two or three hours of good sleep each night for the last 6 years. I went to my doctor and he prescribed sleeping pills, and migraine medication.(I get migraines too) I have been through the classes for stress relief, and learned things like "Bio-Feedback". It has all helped during the day.
My daughter has watched me go through all of this, and she admits that I have been easier to get along with during the day and I don't blow up so easily when she is out of line. I am actually more reasonable. I think anybody would be a nicer person during the day if they were getting enough sleep.
I am looking for alternative methods for help. Ones that are legal.
I did have the alcohol and drugs talk with her, and she seems to understand, but I don't think I will continue smoking. I would seriously consider cooking with it though.(bedtime snacks!!!)

Path; I do appreciate your frank and open comments. This is the kind of thinking I see in my daughter. This is why I came here to ask for help. Alternatives. I certainly don't want to be a "pothead" of anykind. I grew up thinking a pothead was someone that stayed stoned most of the time. In fact I knew some potheads.

Thanks all.

SixofNine

Have you tried just simply telling her that you feel like you were wrong about your past objections to weed? With reasons for your change of heart, of course.

gilwarrior

Hey Bea! I know this is none of my business, but in your post you mentioned that you are a drug addict. I hope that you were joking. I don't want to read on this post one day that you overdosed or something. May you live many more years.

"I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."

William H. Macy - "Magnolia"

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