Part 6(a): “Last Public Talk – The Memorial Saga”
[Note: Now things really get interesting. This is a longer post, but it needs to be said because the events get more and more bizarre! – right up to the end.]
Except for the Elder A incident, all was going well with my family between January and the first part March. By this time I not only was having productive family studies into the issues of Watchtower teachings, but I was having one-on-one discussions with my wife and each child. They were beginning to open up more, feeling safe to express their own concerns. I did not jump on it when they disagreed with the Society, rather, I just listened and asked questions. This at least help foster an environment where they felt safer and safer to express themselves – more importantly to think for themselves.
My son-in-law returned from Bethel and pursued his engagement to my daughter. We drove to California so he could meet his future Grand-Parents-in-law (if that is what you call it.) On the return 700 mile drive, I opened up with concerns as he drove. Ironically, and unknown to me, he had his own concerns with the Society that he had buried, and the opening gave him the freedom to unload. He shared things about Bethel life that made my hair stand on end – that was at times hard to believe. Subsequent discussions with other former Bethelites has not only confirmed his comments, but added salt to the wound.
I was feeling safe, at least some sense of security that maybe even my future son-in-law would come out of the JWs too. I was not yet sure when I would resign, or even how I would go about it, but that thought was still ahead of me. I was happy just experiencing the moments of each day and week that passed with steps of progress becoming more and more noticeable.
”Hello, Brother Amazing, we need to talk about the Memorial” – A call from Elder A Elder A continued on, ‘Since I am the School Overseer, and more experienced, it has been decided that I will given the Memorial talk, and I need your assistance since you are of the Anointed.” “Oh, really,” I said, “How can I help you?” Elder A then requested the latest copy of the “Memorial Outline”, so I agreed to get it to him right away.
Normally, because I was of the Anointed and a “Qualified” speaker, the Society directs that I should give the talk. While Elder A was way out of line on this, I did not mind, since I was planning to leave the religion anyway. The truth is, there was no determination about who would give the Memorial talk, but Elder A took it upon himself to let it be known that he talked to me, and it was decided. As for “experience”, I had been a JW about ten years longer, and had served as an Elder longer. I was in no mood to get into another debate with him, and let it ride. About a week elapsed, then ...
Knock at the Door – It was Elder A: “Hi Brother Amazing, we need to visit and talk again about the Memorial.” Okay, that was fine by me. I was assuming that he was going to go over the arrangements, and tell me what he expected of me ... figuring he might have me schedule the Servers of the Emblems, etc.
“Brother Amazing, the PO got a call from the Circuit Overseer, and he asked who was giving the Memorial Talk in our Hall. When he found out that I was scheduled to do it, he asked why you were not assigned.” I wanted to say that I was not assigned because “you” Elder A are an arrogant idiot and took over against Society instructions. But, I could not blow my cover ... and asked him to continue.
“The PO said that I was giving the talk because I am the Theocratic Ministry School Overseer. The Circuit Overseer asked if you were a “Qualified” speaker, and the PO said very qualified. The Circuit Overseer told the PO that at the top of the Memorial Outline the Society instructs that were available, an Anointed brother shall give the talk. I missed that little line in the Outline.” Okay, I doubt he missed that little line, knowing him as I did, but I really didn’t care. So I asked what else happened. He said that the CO directed that I now give the Memorial Talk. Yikes!!!
Elder A said that he could tell by my face that I was happy to hear the Good News, and he was relieved to hand the Outline back to me. He then stated that he would be handling all the other arrangements. I said fine, and did not pursue anything with him ... I figured that I would just get it over with ... and since I had already begun to gradually eliminate myself from the Public Talk circuit, one more Talk was not going to kill me.
The Sage gets even worse: The following Sunday, the PO approaches me and basically reiterated everything that Elder A stated. I confirmed that Elder A talked with me already. Then the PO asked me to handle all the arrangements since that is normally the job of the Memorial speaker. I countered that Elder A already said he would take care of the arrangements. The PO got upset, and complained that Elder A does this kind of thing all the time and he was getting sick of it. He again told me that he wanted me to take care of the arrangements, and he would speak to Elder A. I agreed, and then ...
I stick my FOOT in my mouth: Oh God, why do we do such things to ourselves? I stopped the PO and said that I wanted to make one little tiny adjustment in the Serving procedure. I noted that last year the Speaker was served after everyone else, and seated in a special place and the Servers all converged on him ... and it looked like a spectacle. I wanted to simply do what I had done as Speaker in earlier years, and just take the Emblems, and then pass them on to the Servers. Simple request ... seemed like no problem. The PO said fine ... you are the Speaker and have charged of the arrangements, so do what you feel best. Great ... that was easy.
BUT NO ... The PO talks to Elder A and tells him I will handle all the arrangements. For some reason unknown to me, the PO mentions my teeny-tiny little adjustment to the Serving procedure ... and Elder A does not like it. So, Elder A says that I am not following the Society instructions, and calls for an Elders meeting immediately after the Watchtower study. Just a side note: You know, I look back on this now, nearly ten years later, and it still seems so silly as it did then. Why do JW Elders like this have to make a fuss over such small things? I have never fully figured it out.
The Elders Meeting: We all take our seats in the “Back Room” and engaged in small talk. Then the PO opens with prayer. He brings everyone up to speed on the Memorial, and then asks Elder A to state his “Concern”. (Concern? What about false prophecy and child molesters? ... Oh no, instead, they worry about which way the Emblems are served ... like the Catholic Church when just after Vatican II they debated which way the Altar would face.) Elder A said that Organizational instructions from the Faithful Slave directs that the Speaker will be Served last, and must step off of the platform to be seated while the Servers pass him the Emblems.
The PO now ask me to state what my suggested change is, and why I want to deviate from what Elder a stated. I said that in past years at different congregations we have done it differently, but when I or another Anointed Elder gave the Talk, we just took the Emblems after the Prayer, and then handed them to the Servers. It is convenient, and to me, having the Speaker leave the Platform be seated in a Special chair seems rather ritualistic like the Catholic Church. Then, I stuck my FOOT further in my mouth, and said that absent any clear written material from the Society, it seems that it is up to us how we handle such minor things. You could head the lead balloon hit the floor.
Elder A then states that we are living deep in the Last Days – and our Loyalty to Jehovah and His Organization is Vital: We all listen as he continues ... Furthermore, he says, our Loyalty is measured on how closely we follow Organizational Instructions – and our very lives could depend on how closely we adhere to the directions from the faithful Slave. What? ... Say that Again? Our lives are dependent on how we serve the Emblems?
The PO asks the other Elders if they have any thoughts, to which they really did not. One of them said that he did not care if I stood on my head while partaking as long as I feel comfortable with that. Another Elder suggested calling the Society, and finally another said that he would do some research. Could this really happen? Well, it did.
The PO then asks me again if I have any thoughts, to which I decided to try and for a brief moment act like a real JW. I said that the Society does not like us calling except in serious cases, and this seems rather minor, something that we should be able to decide ourselves as a Body. Second, even if some “research” produces some instructions somewhere, it is likely only a suggestion. And The Society means what is says, and if they meant more than a suggestion, they would send out a special BOE letter and give explicit instructions. And I find it hard to imagine that our lives are going to be based on whether we take any such “Suggestion” as the Gospel of Jehovah ... for we are also exhorted to follow our Bible Trained Consciences and make decisions as mature men. (The term “Bible Trained Conscience” had all but been dropped from JW vocabulary after the mid-1980s and the earlier resignation of Ray Franz from the GB. I brought it up because I thought that the phrase would maybe produced some positive results.) I was wrong again.
Elder A now injects by interrupting me ... Then, since you feel that God’s Word is now involved, just where in the Scriptures do you think anything is said about how the Emblems are served? Does Jehovah instruct us through Jesus on this? Or does he now direct us through His Organization?
How do you answer a man who thinks like this? Well, I gave it my best shot. I stated that at the first Lord’s Evening Meal, the Last Supper, Jesus prayed and blessed the Bread, broke it, and then passed it around the table. No one Served Jesus, did they? Jesus did not get up from the table and go sit somewhere while two of the Apostles now Served Him, did they? He repeated this same step with the wine. If we are to really follow Organizational instructions, then we should all be seated at Tables, have an unleavened loaf, break it after prayer, and pass it around to all seated.
Elder C speaks up: So, Brother Amazing, are you now saying that you are Jesus Christ? Do you feel that you must be the one to interpret the Bible and issue forth Organizational instructions? Are you the reader now getting the picture of what is happening? I am still puzzled to this day. But, this will not be the only time that Elder C will use this level of logic. I will bring it up again in a future part of this series.
Before I could respond, the PO speaks up: Look Brothers, I think we are getting off track here. Brother Amazing is of the Anointed, he had been assigned by the Circuit Overseer and the Society through the Memorial Outline to give the Talk and make the arrangements. He is part of the faithful and Discreet Slave. He has many years in the Truth, and is an excellent Speaker. The Memorial is really an occasion for the Anointed, and I think we should do what he asks while he is still with us on earth. We wont’ have the opportunity to again work shoulder to shoulder with the Anointed. As for Organizational instructions, maybe Jehovah is also testing us to see how we treat Jesus Brothers right in our midst.
Everything went silent. . The PO and I got along well, unfortunately this would not last, but rather become very ugly as our relationship soured. At least I have to give him credit for trying to reduce the inane level to which this meeting had reached. One of the Elders finally said that the PO made sense, and he agreed with me that this was straining over gnats, and that he was agreeable to let it go. No one else said anything, so the PO called for a vote. It was unanimous, all 6 of us voted to proceed with my request. I would take the Emblems myself after prayer, and hand the Emblems to the Servers. I would also make all the arrangements. The Tribe had Spoken ... it was agreed on by all ... or so I thought ...
A few days later, Elder A calls me: “Brother Amazing, I have some interesting News!” Elder C did some research and discovered last years KM. Oh, that must have been difficult, I thought sarcastically. He went on to say that the KM give explicit instructions on how the Emblems MUST be Served, and that Sunday we will have another Elder’s meeting to discuss the matter. Yes, these men really devoted this much energy to making sure that I was proven wrong – or better stated that they were right, and that they were following Jehovah’s Organization to save their lives at Armageddon.. They were unable to abide by the earlier Elders meeting and unanimous vote.
Sunday we hold our Elders meeting again after the Watchtower Study, and all 6 of us are present. Elder A comes in and sits down right next to me ... and spreads his legs so that his knees push mine to the side, and then he spreads his elbows and punches my ribs slightly. He whispers in my ear that he is pleased to see me, and that he finds it a “Privilege” to serve along side of me. Okay, I thought, but please don’t get physical.
The PO opens with prayer again, and than asked Elder A to state why he called for the meeting. Ahhhh ... this was new to me, I didn’t realize that he was calling for the meeting. But that did not matter. He said that Jehovah responded to their prayers and revealed Organizational instructions. At this point, he called on Elder C to read from the KM. Do you see any more sheep’s clothing dropping off with this ordeal? I sensed that this was starting to feel like we were really the Sanhedrin of Pharisees. Except that I did not want to be a member of this exclusive club anymore.
[Read below to complete this Part. I had to break it up so the post would take.]