During my fade I started acting more and more bizarre (not brushing my hair, clothes that did not match, sleeping during meetings, non-sequitur answers) and I found that it really helped because most of the rank and file just thought I was bat sh*t crazy, and the elders were kind of happy not to have to deal with me. So has anyone done something similar?
Has anyone else tried the crazy approach to fading
by will_the_apostate 19 Replies latest jw friends
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baltar447
lol, might work great if you are single with no family in da troof. Of course if you have to maintain ties for business or job reasons it wouldn't work.
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TotallyADD
That's funny the other day I told my wife a good way to fade would be to become very needy. Start asking for help on this project or that. They them you need money or your car is borke down you need a ride to the meetings and field service. Ask for everything. With in a month on one will want to touch you with a 10 foot pole. If they come back at you serveral months later just start asking for more help. I have seen alot of people do that not wanting to fade but just to take advanage of the congregation. No one wants to be around them. Totally ADD
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wobble
Jeez I wish i had thought of that ! I probably am not avery good actor, but being naturally almost bat s**t crazy anyway, I wouldn't have to change much !
I did add in to the mix, when I got the 2Elder visit, that I was suffering from depression, but looking back I know that was true anyway.
It would have been fun to act the drooling King David though.
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Morbidzbaby
I have seen alot of people do that not wanting to fade but just to take advanage of the congregation. No one wants to be around them.
There was a sister in this area who was always asking for things...fix her car, borrow money for bills, etc. Money she never paid back, mind you. She was a single woman whose kids were pretty much all grown. Her son never left the house, was my age but had no job...neither did she. I don't know how the heck she even survived not working.
But anyway, she decided she and her son were going to up and move clear across the country (with NO MONEY), and the congregation gave them a going away party in which many gave them cash as gifts. A year passed...she didn't even pack. Then she announces again they are leaving, starts packing up her things,and the friends are helping her do so. While going through her things, she had a bunch of stuff she wasn't going to take, but was going to donate or throw away. The friends asked her if they could have them. Instead of being nice and telling them to take the items since they were helping her so much, she asked them for money! On top of that, she got another going away party with lots of cash gifts...and stayed another year.
She pulled this thing off successfully 3 times...3 parties, 3 times the witnesses dug down deep in their pockets for her...and then she finally left a few months after the final party. I have a theory that she KNEW she couldn't afford to move, so she duped the JW's into funding her move. I think this religion/cult is a hotbed for users and people who want something for nothing... I've seen it way too many times to count.
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moshe
WTA- I have advocated this type of behavior for faders and I know from past experience as an elder that it works. The JWs hate to deal with strange and needy brothers. They will leave you alone, if you start acting strange. Any positive contact from an elder- "how are you doing?, -we miss you at the KH", would be suicide for them- like asking for a tick to hop back on for another free meal. This would only work, if you have no plans to publicly vote, join another religion, etc, if you do that they will DF you.
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wobble
Moshe, can they DF you for voting ? On what grounds ? I am still voting next month, in a national referendum and local elections,whatever the answer, but I would like to be prepared.
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willyloman
While some of these suggestions will not work for everyone, they do point out one important point: When you plan your exit, use what you know!
We all recognize that needy/crazy dubs easily fall of the elders' radar. Because although elders pay lip service to being "servants" the fact is they just want to be left alone to handle their more pleasant "privileges" and avoid the energy-suck that problem publishers represent.
The lesson: To successfully fade, become a problem publisher. But not a "problem" (there's a difference).
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OnTheWayOut
Although I am already out the door, I love this "crazy" idea. I have thought of what I would do if they went after faders. If all I had to do was turn in an hour of recruiting every six months, I would say I had informal witnessing and turn it in. If they actually needed meeting attendance, I would show up for some minimum- perhaps one meeting during the C.O. visit every 6 months. I would look at the study material and find some obscure thoughts from the WT magazines and try to comment, very long, very strange answers. They would be glad I didn't come back for 6 months.
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zoiks
@w_t_a- Your post explains so much. Thank you.