by insearchoftruth 41 Replies latest watchtower bible
I agree with insearchofthetruth who wonders how anyone can seriously read this Old-Testament-flavoured rubbish. Jws really have to "park" their critical faculties to not only read but swallow what's in the book.
The whole idea of the husband being the head of the household is archaic, harking back to a time when men"owned" not only their wives but their children and daughters in particular.
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", you can suggest she search it in the Watchtower Library to see if it is mentioned there (which it is, in a positive way. The article that mentions it actually uses the information in the book as the basis for the article).
Good idea Pirata, it would be an opening of the door to bring in information not written by a writing committee ruled by the GB.
I have skimmed through much of the book and read chapter 11 as suggested by jgnat in an earlier post and I really do not understand why the study conductor would suggest this book for a study to read with an 'unbelieving' husband. I had spoken with the study conductor's husband in the past (who is an elder) and I know they both realize I know a lot more about the JWs history and doctrine than they feel comfortable with.
It appears that the present 'study' is a read of the family happiness book, they are on chapter 2 where it starts to discuss agape love.
A small word of warning when discussing doctrine with a cultist. Steve Hassan warns against pointing out the apparent hypocricy in our partner's actions. This can cause them to immerse themselves even further in the cult persona.
I gave in to temptation - once - and I've regretted it ever since. Hubby (natural personality) loves baseball. We used to attend the local league all the time. I mentioned that he wasn't supposed to be standing during the anthem and ever since, he's run off to the bathroom when the anthem starts (cult personality).
When book studying with your partner, ask for her opinion and reinforce her right to that opinion frequently (natural personality). Remind her of all those quirky natural qualities that attracted you to her in the first place (natural personality). Avoid the temptation to point out her personal inconsistencies when putting the book instructions in to practice , otherwise she may start subsuming even more to that "uniform ideal" (cult personality).
any suggestions?
Yeah- don't do it.
My wife asked what chapter we should read, so suggested eleven. Think she is surprised I had even looked at the TOC. I don't think she realizes the present extent of the headship and I know she does not know about some of the upcoming studies making it even more apparent. Any suggestions on open ended questions I should ask?
My favorite posts are that the book has already been around a short while so a new, much revised edition should be published soon.
The Bible may be considered a pale substitute but when the books were canonized, it was decreed the canon was closed for all time. Suggest the Bible.
Part of me was going to suggest going through with form out of respect for the marriage. Only she is trying to convert you and you are trying to convert her. Only those in a marriage know what is like. Maybe a side trip to a divorce lawyer. I've met many Christian-Jewish couples where religion was de-emphasized. Most of the time the woman converts to Judaism formally but will not practice it b/c her background is just as good. The strain on a marriage is enormous. Witnesses take themselves very seriously. We could ask why she married heathen you.
You could suggest that you each read each chapter independently, and then discuss it together. The JW logic requires the 'read the paragraph/ answer the written question' format to maintain any form of coherence. Also, make sure you stay on topic and encourage her to express her beliefs and not to change them. This may reduce her defensiveness. She will either 1) stop 'studying' with you and think of another way to convert you, or she will 2) learn to discuss and debate instead of just reading someone else's words to express her own beliefs.
Tell her you will read it if she will read this book:
A small word of warning when discussing doctrine with a cultist. Steve Hassan warns against pointing out the apparent hypocricy in our partner's actions. This can cause them to immerse themselves even further in the cult persona.
I concur with this warning. For years I pointed out how my wife was inconsistent with her beliefs vs her actions in an attempt to open her eyes to the lunacy of it. Instead it only pushed her further into her little cult. Now I know not to say anything when I spot an inconsistency, I let her be her.
Hi Insearchoftruth, a former friend, who is a devote JW, recommended that I read “Getting the Love You Want – A Guide for Couples” by Harville Hendrix. The book is very good and you would learn effective techniques such as mirroring, validating, and empathizing that may help you and your wife grow closer instead of argueing with each other. I also agree with comments written by others about doing things that your wife likes to do instead of going to meetings, do not criticize the WTBTS or other JWs (until your wife's mind is open), remind your wife about you are the head of the family like the WTBTS literature states, and reading the "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" book by Dr Grey.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
ABibleStudent
