the elders want to come by for a visit

by Evidently Apostate 14 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DesirousOfChange

  Please outline to your wife exactly what will happen if you are DF'd......

  I must ask you to consider if you really know where your wife really stands on your position at this point in time? She could have feelings that you need the help of the elders to get "readjusted" in your thinking....... Or, some spouses have actually felt a loyalty to the Cong when their mate has been questioning the doctrine.... In either case, it can result in the investigators receiving too much information that they can use against you. The minute they get suspicious, their Loyal Love and desire to help mutates into Theocratic Warfare and keeping the cong clean.

  To continuously put off a visit throws up some red flags unless you have a "valid" reason for refusal, such as depression, illness, etc. WHY would you not want the encouragement of these wonderful, godly men? Have they possibly already heard from someone that you have confided to that you are having some "doubts" or worse, "apostate thoughts"? (This could have even been your family members from "innocent" discussion with them as to why you were not at the CO visit or CirAssm.)

  If you do NOT want to risk being "outted" then you must maintain total control of yourself if you agree to meeting with them. You CANNOT divulge that you have any disagreement with GB/WTS doctrine. Even just having "doubts" will put you in their continual radar. Much better to be "stumbled" by something that Brother @$$hole did or said to the point that you just cannot believe that he is serving....it is a travesty of divine justice.....you can only wait on Jehovah and His Org to make things right. Every time you seem to get past it, something happens to stir it up in you again and the flood of emotions are uncontrollable...... In the meantime, you are doing more Bible reading, prayer, and meditation. And, perhaps, you really need to talk to your doctor to see if it's something physiological.....you know, this old system of things is really having an effect on all of us these days.....things are really so bad.....isn't evident that the END has to be NEAR......

  (Now write that out three times and memorize it).
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  undercover

  Unless you want to be exposed and have to change your screen name from "evidently apostate" to "definitely apostate and DFd for it", then never, never, ever, ever meet with the elders.
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  Mad Sweeney

  It is possible that your wife thinks they will be able to change your mind and get you back on track.

  I would say this is definitely what she thinks. You have to remember that the JW mindset is that Jehovah himself, via his holy spirit, directs the elders. You are no match for God's holy spirit. You will be miraculously "corrected" and fall back in line with "Jehovah's arrangement."

  That is what she thinks. She doesn't realize that since the entire doctrine is BS, and you know both sides of the JW story, you're actually smarter than both the elders put together.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Unless you want to be exposed and have to change your screen name from "evidently apostate" to "definitely apostate and DFd for it", then never, never, ever, ever meet with the elders.

  Let me add: If your wife thinks a meeting is such a great idea, tell her to have one without you there. Then don't be there. If she doesn't want you DF'ed, you have to avoid such meetings. A little upset that you won't meet is better than the upset that her husband is DF'ed.
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  Honesty

  Pay attention:

  They are not there to help they are there to determine if you are a problem and if you are to clean house.