Had an interesting thought this morning.
When a witness is 'in' they think everyone else is following and trying there best all in unity.
I believe the reality is there are a lot of us 'in' who know different. And it's a big help in escaping the F.O.G. But when you don't know there are people pretending, or going through motions or, fading/faded, who would DA in heartbeat if the consequences were removed, you just feel like an outsider.
Crossing that bridge and finding out there is such a large number of mentally out ones who for their own reasons have to stay physically 'in' really is an eye opener and a luxury we can enjoy on this side. On the other-side, not knowing, you think people are either all in our all out. That makes you feel anxiety, like there are millions of believers and there is something wrong with you.
This may be the JW religions best kept darkest secret. This is why they are talking more than ever about "faders" even though they don't call them that. In video, in literature. They are shown as people who just are weak spiritually and feel like giving up as portrayed by the WTBTS. The truth is they hate the religion and don't believe any but are not free to leave. So by producing this image they are protecting the mind control and cult unity. If witness knew that a third or more of the publisher in their hall and all the halls in the developed world were only going to not lose their family they would $hit their pants. But guess who does know... headquarters... they know.