New to this forum and few thoughts.

by sweetrose74 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sweetrose74
    sweetrose74

    Well I have not been a part of the Jws for over 12 years. I was born and raised one. Indoctrincated from birth you can say. Thank goodness I somehow gained the strength and fortitude to exticate myself from their narrow-minded views and life. I have my dad to thank for this. I can't give you an exact date that I started doubting but it began around the age of 15-16 when my parents got divorced. I say how the religion tore apart two people who dearly loved each other and the havoc it reigned down on a family with 4 children. I wish I could say I took my stand at this point but unfortunately it took many more years and a failed JW marriage myself to start myself on the road to freedom.

    I have so much more I could say about all of this but it would take up too much space.

    I am very grateful for my choice to chose freedom and am a million times happier in the life I have chosen to live. To be free of shame, guilt and judgement is a wonderful thing. I wake up every morning knowing I can make the choices I feel are right for me in my heart and go to sleep each night with a smile on my face. I won't say there haven't been adjustment issues, cause believe me socially children raised by die-hard JWs are stunted and awkward but everyday I work to overcome these. I have family that is still a part of the "organization" that I so want to be close to but know that it really is futile to let myself get to close because all it will mean is pain and rejection. My 87 year-old grandmother, who I used to be her favorite, and I got reaquainted after many years of almost nonexistant communication, being the main one. I had an opportunity to move in with her so she could continue to live in her home of over 50 years but had to turn this down due to knowing if I did I would have to deprive my 10 year old son of holidays. I knew if I lived in her house I would have to respect her feelings. I could not as a responsible parent allow this to happen to my son, I vowed he would never miss out on the things I did as a child or be forced into a narrow minded mold. I hate that my grandmother can't live the rest of her life in her own home. You would think one of the 3 of her JW children would make sure she could do this or one of the elders or friends in the congregation she has gone to for 50+ years could assist her in this matter. Where's the so called brotherly love? What about taking care of your fellow brothers and sisters?

    Anyways like I said I do have issues that leaving caused but they never outweigh the relief my choice has given me. I'm glad my longtime friend Jeckle encouraged me to get on here and read some of the posts and join. My hat is off to all who have the courage to tear themselves away from the BS and mind control. I also sympathisize with the issues it creates. We all end up losing loved ones and friends when we walk or run away. The ones I am most sad for are those who have their doubts and never walk away or who do leave but never let go of the life or the beliefs. Thanks for listening. I may not post much but I will jump in when time allows me.

  • Cadellin
    Cadellin

    Welcome, sweetrose! Yeah, it's hard, especially when you have kids. Sounds like you really have principles that you are living by for the sake of your son. Good for you.

  • Pika_Chu
    Pika_Chu

    Welcome to the forum. I think you'll find many kindered spirits here.

  • fade_away
    fade_away

    Glad to have you on board. I'm new to this forum too and I've been out of the religion for only 8 months. My whole family is in but at least I have my wife who got out with me. My parents blame her cause it's easier to blame the one that's not your son. Truth is I never felt it in me to be a JW, I was born in it and never had a chocie to be here or not. I was born in it so I was stuck in it. Until I left my parents house. The whole "as long as you live under my roof, this is what you'll do" thing kept me going. Well, now I'm under MY own roof and I choose to leave. They don't like it, but it's my roof now! Haha, it feels so good to say that.

  • sweetrose74
    sweetrose74

    Cadellin thanks. Yes I do have strong principles I am trying to raise my son by. Its when I had him that I even more so became determined to carve out a life free of the BS I had been led to believe as a child. When you leave people think you become a heathen with no morals or principles. I think this is a bad misconception escpecially from family who is supposed to know you. I know right from wrong and I think thats finally what made me see the light. How can you expect me to believe something when you won't even let me test it against really investigating other religions?

    Thanks Pika_Chu i was led here by a kindred spirit who insisted I needed to see how many of us there were. I finally gave into the "peer pressure" lol. Glad I did it feels good to vent some of this stuff.

  • sweetrose74
    sweetrose74

    Fade away - yes it does feel good to leave. I have both family in and out thankfully. All my siblings are out so thats good for the next generation. I have 11 nieces and nephews who I encourage in every way to be independant thinkers and to question anything someone tells you you have to believe. Glad you have your wife for support it really helps.

  • Reopened Mind
    Reopened Mind

    Welcome sweetrose74. Love your name. My husband brings me a sweet rose from our rose garden every morning.

    Freedom from mind control is a wonderful thing. Teaching your son how to think and reason for himself will be the greatest gift you can give him.

    Your grandmother's 3 JW children are classic examples of ones who are under the influence of a mind controlling cult. They are not allowed to show brotherly love.

    Reopened Mind

  • jeckle
    jeckle

    welcome welcome let me holla at you girl! just kidding i'm glad your here. i read your story we tried to talk earlier today but we were both busy.

  • nolongerwaiting
    nolongerwaiting

    Welcome. I am so glad that you are free. :)

    NLW's wife

  • flipper
    flipper

    SWEETROSE 74- Very eloquently put. You have a very good way of expressing yourself . I'm so sorry you've been through the pain of dealing with JW relatives odd behavior. I too was a born in and have family still in. How commendable of you to keep your son's interests first in showing him a normal life. It's sad your JW relatives didn't take your grandma in. I have aged JW parents in their 80's now as well and their health is falling apart. I am in close contact with them to make sure they get proper care though as my older JW brother lives near them still. Look forward to hearing more from you ! A hearty welcome to you ! Take care

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