How Much Did It Cost You Financial Being or Leaving The Witnesses

by Was New Boy 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  flipper

  WAS NEW BOY- Great thread . Very good thoughts by you. It cost me thousands and thousands of $$$$ by staying in the Witnesses 44 years. I had a 3.6 GPA in High School but was told I could not go to college by not only my parents, but the WT society. I had skills as a baseball player yet was not allowed to play on the High School baseball team even though the coach begged me. My parents said it was Tuesday meeting night that " practice would interfere. " I gave up many chances of good paying jobs as an adult which would require me to miss meetings.

  A NEW ME- Many elders told us we couldn't go to college or take any decent jobs which would make us miss meetings. We were told we'd be considered " unfaithful " if we went against the WT society's counsel. So your opinion that we HAD a choice- is really incorrect and errant. We were under the mind control influencing us that we'd be not approved by Jehovah God if we weren't regular at meetings and allowed college courses or work to interfere. By you not acknowledging that guilt and fear tactics WERE definitely used in the organization shows a shallow ignorance of how ALL of us as Jehovah's Witnesses were coerced
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  NomadSoul

  I'm glad I'm only lost about....$2,000 to $3,000 in gas.

  But if you count lost childhoold years plus a few teenage years. Well, it goes up.
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  LongHairGal

  WASNEWBOY:

  Hi there. I believe that if you were a born-in with family there, you definitely paid a higher price than those who came in as an adult. There is no way to calculate the value of wasted years. But, I hope you are doing better now that you are out. Try to be happy and enjoy the rest of your life as a free (and wiser) person.

  FLIPPER:

  I totally agree with you that the religion said that people who pursued college or careers were 'unfaithful'. I came in as a young adult (with a job and education already under my belt, thankfully). I had to listen to stupid remarks from even stupider people telling me I should "quit my job" and do housecleaning. Please understand I have nothing against anybody who does housecleaning, but I already had an education and skills. I might also make mention that the presumptuous busybodies who gave this unwanted advice were married retirees who were living a comfortable life. Surely, somebody worked full time to provide these people with the generous pension they were living on but stupidity and hypocrisy reigns supreme in this religion.

  I ignored the advice of all these busybodies and as a result, I was 'panned' in some circles and wasn't invited too often. I always got the sense they wanted to 'punish' me because they could not control me. I also got the sense that some there wanted to 'abase' me because they were resentful of a woman who was dignified and had self-esteem. Yes, self-esteem that I earned by living in the world and that I had no intention of giving up to a bunch of covetous busybodies who actually had an agenda: they were targeting single women to do favors. Yes, they were looking for doormats to do favors for all the users in the congregation. Did I mention that most of the users were MARRIED women?

  Now....fast forward to 2011 and we are in the middle of the worst recession ever. People who didn't get college or careers are suffering. Will the religion help these people??? Nope, I thought not.
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  cult classic

  anewme (and any who share this poster's particular view on this matter)

  In the org there are those who are spoken of as "dishonorable vessels". Now in the strictest JW meaning this refers to those who are immoral in some way. However, by extension it can refer to those of the weaker JW persuasion who usually do not sacrifice for the sake of the good news. They may even counsel their brothers and sisters to "take it easy, don't work so hard, do something for yourself." Get where I'm going with this?

  Those who take to heart the timely and loving counsel to avoid the snares of the "fleshly man", pay a HUGE price. Many of us struggled to avoid being like Demas who loved the present system of things and, therefore, missed out on using the world to the full.

  That being said, it is a slap in the face to be belittled and criticized for our "choices". It is difficult to get over "choices" one made while under duress of guilt, duty and fear.
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  cult classic

  A NEW BOY

  The cost to me financially was

  gallons upon gallons of wasted gas (adjust for any given year/price per gallon) travelling to and from meetings, service, assemblies, conventions, etc.

  unnecessary wear and tear on my vehicle.

  a stupid and matronly pioneer/bethelite wardrobe that I maintained and upgraded year after freakin' year.

  meals on the go and footing the bill for the middle-aged pioneers who had no money.

  donations to the world-wide idiot work.

  and travel expenditures while visiting other like-minded witnesses in foreign lands.

  That being said I can only complain so much as I came from an area where most witnesses, including myself, have money to burn. The bigger cost to me was the time and energy that I gave to a cause that was not mine. No amount of money can buy that back for me. Well, maybe the winning lotto ticket could.
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  sizemik

  @anewme

  Remember, whatever the costs and sacrifices, they were entirely up to you.

  I think that is the most ignorant statement I have ever read on this board
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  saltyoldlady

  My exit has done nothing but save me moolah. I truthfully hadn't realized how much a month it was costing me to be a JW.

  For starters as everyone else has mentioned the savings in car expenses alone are immense - I now use about 1/4 as much gasoline a month and that translates to even greater maintenance savings because my miles per year are now less than 3,000 - amazing.

  Then the change in apparel has saved me big time - I now live in jeans and sweatshirts, or in the summer shorts and tees - no more dry cleaning or fancy high falutin garb - savings in shoes, gloves, coats, hats, dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. etc. also amazing. Life is so simple now. And I still participate in a Bible Study class at the Senior Center but all of us just show up in whatever garb makes us comfortable - have noticed no one wears a dress - LOL. And none of the fellows wear ties. LOL. And none of the gals wear heels! Etc. Etc. Etc.

  And no more NYLONS! I must have snagged a pair of those every week, it seemed.

  Then the savings in food has been enough to now make my income seem adequate and comfortable. I used to be "stressed out" over never having enough - now I eat all the goodies I never felt I could afford because facts of the case were I was feeding friends frequently or else going out to restaurants that charge way too much for what they deliver just so we could visit after meetings or field service. Convenience factor that cost PLENTY in the area I live.

  And then there's the savings of not having to pay for all that literature we placed that no one really wanted and that they secretly just tossed in the rubbish soon as we left their porch! LOL I hate to think of all the trees we wasted - yes, I'm a tree hugger.

  And then there's the freedom from feeling like I must help the needy ones among us - haven't even met a needy one in my new Bible Study Class nor any con artist types either in the last year plus. That is truly Amazing. Did the WTS lay claim to all those? Now am considering contributions to some truly great causes and feeling enriched by the opportunity to do something that makes a difference in the community instead of just being an enabler for those accustomed to getting handouts from others.

  A very conservative estimate would be it has saved me about $300/month - and I wasn't expecting that.
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  life is to short

  Thanks satlyoldlady

  anewme apparently never went out in field service or else he/she new how to dump on others. That was probably it he/she was one of those who never had their car available for service and then they just did not have a dollar to give you for gas and what was the big deal about giving you gas money anyway as you were going to go out in service in the first place and to have one more person in your car would not cost you more in gas.

  I used to go through pantyhose like candy.

  Oh my word do not even get me started with all the crazy's in the hall. Being my husband was an elder and all the other elders ran from every from every crazy there was and my husband felt sorry for them. The crazy's all new the other elders hated them but not my husband we would pile them all in our car as my husband liked to say I am sacrificing myself. But he was sacrificing me along with it. It is not that I wanted to be mean but theses people were so crazy and here you are going to strangers doors trying to convince them to join your religion with someone who is hearing voices? And you had to let the crazy's take doors or else they would really flip out at you.

  Then these crazy's always had kids and their poor kids but some of the kids were crazy themselves. I have had our car written all over with a ball point pen on the back seat. You name it spilled on it. I have been yelled at by 10 year olds, because my husband wanted to make field service fun he would never set limits for the kids letting them do what ever and of course the parents had no limits on the kids and I had to just deal with it.

  Like the crazy sister who would not put her baby in a child car seat, instead she would just hold the baby in her lap. If we had gotten in a car wreck on the way to meeting the baby would have been extremely hurt. I even told the crazy mom I would buy her a car seat, I begged and pleaded with the mom to please put the child in a car seat. The mom said NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She just would not do it and my husband said well if she will not do it then there was nothing we could do about it but just let it go. I said then we are not taking her to the meetings. But being I was just a stupid wife I had no voice even for my own car. I once got into a scraming match with my husband over it and then we left and picked her up and took her to the meeting with no car seat.

  So it not just the cost of money but also stress.

  LITS
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  OnTheWayOut

  There's no telling what being a JW cost me in dollars.

  I did not stay in the military nor seek the proper care I should have gotten at the time for my "disturbance" because the end was so close. I got busy serving Jehovah Watchtower. So I lost a bunch of medical care, possibly a small lifetime pension.

  I worked for 6 years in the janitorial business with/for other JW's. I was young and should have either been in school or working toward a career. Nothing wrong with what I did, but I wasn't building a future toward retirement. Afterall, the end was so close.

  I don't mind giving charitably to JW's personally. If someone needed help, it was okay. I won't count that. But there were all the traveling to assemblies and hotel stays and driving around in the territory for recruitment time. How does one begin to calculate such a waste?

  Dry cleaning, buying suits, wearing out dress shoes walking the beat of the territory- that's huge.

  I did drop money in the box at the Hall or at assemblies. It wasn't huge, but put it all together- OH MY.

  I am going to say that over 20 years, I probably wasted $50,000 in the cult. It's a very rough (and low) estimate.

  I didn't take into account- my wasted time. What I might have made doing something else with that time.
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  life is to short

  Sorry for my misspelled words it is early in the morning. I meant knew not new. I hate it when I do that. Sorry

  LITS