Hey its just me

by What Now? 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    Hi everyone!

    I just wanted to introduce myself ... i've been following this forum for a few months and finallly joined. My parents became Witnesses when I was four years old. Even when I was younger I always had doubts (my sweet old grandparents were "wicked" and would be destroyed at Armageddon???) but I still played the part as best I could. I got into trouble as a teenager, then pioneered straight out of high school. I got married very young. We lived in my parents basement at first, so that kind of forced us to be regular publishers. We've since bought our own house and are on our own. In spite of the doubts I always had, I was always deathly afraid of looking into "apostate" literature. But when Ray Franz's books came to my attention, I couldn't see how a book by a former governing body member could be ignored. Reading those books confirmed many things that I guess I really knew all along. I am very fortunate in that my husband actually shares the same feelings I do - we recently confessed this to each other a few months ago! But, we're not ready to give up the friends and family just yet. Both of us grew up in "the truth", and really have no other life outside of it. Our families are heavily involved in the congregation. What complicates things even further is that we just had a beautiful son and I would feel horrible to take him away from his grandparents and aunts (Not because we would turn our backs on them, but because they would feel it's their duty to turn their backs on us). But I can't raise him in this religion. I will not let him grow up being terrified of Armageddon and believing that everyone else who is not one of Jehovah's Witnesses is "worldly" and therefore wicked. I'm not going to let him grow up thinking that his parents only love him conditionally - only if he chooses their religion. I want to raise him with Christian values, and I want to teach him about God and Jesus and love and respect for life and a sense of wonder about the world around him. But as I said, it's complicated. For now we're kind of in this grey area, half in and half out, as I suspect so many are. It feels a bit hypocritical and I hate that, and one day when our son is older, I know we'll have to make a decision. Until then we're just hanging in there. Anyways ... it's nice to have a place like this, with so many other people who know what it's like. "Apostates" aren't nearly as terrible as the organization made them out to be.

  • wannabefree
    wannabefree

    Welcome. Thanks for sharing. Glad you and your husband are on the same page.

  • dinah
    dinah

    Welcome to the forum, What Now?

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Welcome, and good luck to you as you find your path.

  • Nobleheart
    Nobleheart

    Welcome What Now!

    I'm happy you were courageous enough to research facts and finally confirm your doubts. It's great your husband is also on the same page!

    Good for you for looking out for your child, for him to enjoy a normal, loving childhood.

    I really hope you might succeed in raising awareness about the many faulty JWs teachings with your family.

    I wish you all the best!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Welcome to the board *waves*

  • Ding
    Ding

    Welcome!

    If it would help you guys to talk through any of this one on one, feel free to PM me at any time.

  • tenyearsafter
    tenyearsafter

    Welcome!

    Take your time and plan your exit carefully...if you want to maintain your family and friends, you will need to fade gradually and not "rock the boat". As you see your eyes opening more and more, this can be difficult...but don't be confrontational unless you are prepared to be shut out by family and friends. Good luck!

  • Desilusionnee
    Desilusionnee

    Welcome What Now!

    You're right, it's difficult to leave when one has got children. As for me, I discovered this site one year ago and I have tried to keep on attending meetings in order to keep up appearences. However it became more and more difficult so I've stopped attending last January. Hubby still goes with the children (2 littlee girls) but I know now that it's because he is not ready to leave. He needs more time and I let him go, because he also respects my decision.

    I wish you all the best in your journey out of this organization.

    Take care,

    Dési

  • Joliette
    Joliette

    Welcome to the forum. As I say to all the new posters on here: Get ready for a ride you will never forget ;)

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