i know this subject is not jw related but , i believe my older brother in his 40s has aspergers but my mum wont except it and says its depression , i want to help him but how can i without my mums support in getting him diagnosed ?
does anyone have a relative or know someone with autism/aspergers syndrome ?
by looloo 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Morbidzbaby
First thing would be to do a LOT of research on the symptoms. Most adults who are diagnosed begin with a self-diagnosis first. They recognize that this is how they are feeling and how they react and interact with the world around them. Maybe talk to him and ask if he's ever felt disconnected from people, if he finds that he feels comforted with certain repetitive activities, if he becomes obsessed with certain subjects and that's ALL he will talk about without taking into consideration the social norms of conversation. Aspie's tend to dominate the conversation to the point of boring and annoying the person they are talking to.
Being that autism is a spectrum disorder, he could have Aspergers, but he could also have another high functioning form...or it could just be depression. Do some reading and research and then if you still feel he might, bring it to his attention and see if he would agree to talk to psychologist about it. It's tough with adults because they usually don't see the symptoms in themselves...to the outside world they seem "normal" in most respects, but socially they're clueless. Others will see them as different or quirky, and they themselves will have a difficult time making and keeping friends because they just can't relate to others.
ETA: If he's in his 40's, you kind of don't need your mom's permission to help him. If you can get him to look into it and he DOES get a diagnosis, then it will help your mother to see there was something more there than depression and she will probably then be on board with assisting him.
If you want to talk more, you can send me a PM.
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moshe
My daughter's ex-husband has asbergers- he is a millionaire, owns a recording company, made the Rolling Stone top 100 guitarisits list- and he is a huge jerk who gets off on suing people over petty stuff, just to drag them into court and hopefully "win".
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miseryloveselders
A brother in my congregation has Aspergers. His condition is noticeable from his physical appearance, demeanor, mannerisms, amongst other things. From the first time you see him, its obvious to you that he has issues that are beyond depression. I don't know how much Aspergers varies as far as mild to severe, but he's definately a peculiar, interesting fellow. He's the type of person that will never let you get too close to him. Surprisingly to some, he's nice to have around. Times that I've enjoyed field service, it was because I was working with him. I genuinely enjoy his company, although he makes me do all the talking. There's just something about him that I don't know how to quite describe to you. Its like I can let my guard down around him, and we talk about pretty much anything. Not to sound demeaning, but similar to a dog that gives you unconditional love, this brother is always the same around you, no matter the weather or whats going on his life.
There's times I've sat out in the lobby at the meeting as an attendant, and he'd come out and sit with me. Won't utter a word, but if he's comfortable and happy, then so am I. In fiedl service, when I've worked with him, I'd laugh at something we both seen, and he'd grin and laugh too. Because of his condition, its hard to tell at times whether or not he actually gets what we're laughing at. Like I find myself questioning if he's just laughing because I'm laughing. I guess at the end of the day, he's not retarded, just socially handicapped if that makes sense.
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cult classic
One of our neighbor's son has Asperger's. He was diagnosed years ago. He's a teenager now. He's in an academic program that is tailored to his needs. Intelligent kid. He'll be fine. The best thing that can be done is to get a correct diagnosis so that any special needs can be addressed.
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looloo
thanks for your advice so far people , morbid you hit the nail right on the head with your description of aspergers , and that is my brother all over ! hates change to his routines , either dosnt talk to some in the family at all (thats me !) or phones my mum every day going over and over the same subject (at the moment that is an issue with the police , after he was arrested after someone accused him of stalking her ! it was all sorted out but it has been reported about his "odd" behavior before , as he tends to stare at people without realising or not look them in the eye at all ) he has talked of suicide before as he feels so different and asks my mum why people think hes odd but she wont tell him as she thinks he will be "tipped over the edge " ive done so much research and also i work with people with autism so i know what he has and have thought of lending him a book by a guy with aspergers in the hope he will self diagnose .
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kimbo
john elder robison
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looloo
kimbo , yes thats the book ive decided on , there are quite a lot on the subject but i thought that was what would be suitable for him !
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mrsjones5
http://autism.about.com/b/2010/01/02/self-diagnosis-and-the-adult-with-asperger-syndrome.htm
I have nothing to add other than the link above. My youngest son is on the ASD spectrum, he's seven.
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Terry
Asperger's isn't just ONE thing.
It is a list of symptoms.
Not all of these symptoms (or any by themselves) are bad.
The overall thrust of identifying Asperger's Syndrome is when DYSFUNCTION has developed as a result.
My son had a nervous breakdown when he was 14 which subsequently led to years of studies, tests, analysis, scans, interviews, counseling.
All of which simply identified him as having the list of Asperger's Syndrome which fit his behavior.
Nicholas was highly functioning until the point where he was placed in an expensive private school which FORCED HIM TO LEARN by rigorous and unyielding standards. He could no longer learn HIS OWN WAY (which had been, as I said, highely effective.)
The PRESSURE TO CONFORM almost destroyed him.
Had we only known before hand we would never have put him in that learning enviornment.
Asperger's diagnosis should lead you to identify the MANNER IN WHICH a person operates best in a given enviornment with the caveat that the BOUNDRIES of this
style of thinking and learning are VERY RIGIDLY DELINEATED.