Shepherding call

Shimmer

I finally got "the call". You know the one. Brother So-and-So, wanting to come by and give our family a shepherding call. Neither my husband or I want to be "herded" at this time.

Here's my story. My husband has not been a "regular" meeting attender for a few years. I stopped going about November. I have no interest in returning, however I don't want to be forced to DA myself, only because I have family still in. I also cannot just blow people off, damn that christian upbringing.

So, any suggestions? I thank you in advance for anything you can give me.

Shimmer

A sobering thought: what if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?------------Jane Wagner

Jim Dee

Its your house, you can do what you want with it.

Every time they want to see you, your away, sick, out, visiting relatives, wil get back to you

Eventually they will go away

Jim

Seeker4

Shimmer,

Having only just stopped going to the meetings in Nov., I can understand why you are reluctant to take a stand here. But think about it - this is your life. Why do you feel you HAVE to do something that you neither want nor need to do - simply because someone tells you you should?? Stop being a sheep for a minute and say thank you, but we'd rather not have any visits right now. That's not disassociating yourself - it's simply deciding who you will and will not meet with.

Take yourself out of the Witness mindset for a minute. Imagine that this is the local Amway rep who wants to meet with you for a sales pitch. It's no big deal to say no, and do it in a nice way.

There have been enough silent lambs in the WTS.
S4

Pathofthorns

Your best bet is to thank them for the concern, assure them you are well and that YOU will contact them in the future should you need any visits.

However difficult it is to do, it is wise to resist the urge to explain your not attending meetings or otherwise give reasons for your current position. Just keeping silent and avoiding meeting with elders will save you nearly every imaginable headache with this group.

Likely the circuit overseer is visiting in a couple of weeks and the elders are just tying up loose ends so they can tell the CO that at least they tried to contact you. I wouldn't worry about it. Just be pleasant and smile and thank them and tell them to have a nice day

Path

Billygoat

Shimmer,

You might be nervous about it because you have given them control over you. Just take it back! You are in control of where you go Sunday mornings or Saturday mornings or Tuesday nights...etc. You are in control of who comes into your home and what you talk about. If they say they want to come by, just tell them the timing isn't good and you'll get in touch with them if that changes. I know, I know...easier said than done!

Andi

ashitaka

Path is right on.

When they asked me recently if they could come over, I said, "That's a possibility, but I'm on the other line right now, can you call me back?"

They never do.

ashi

AlanF

If you don't want to DA (and I think this is the best course if you have family still in the Borg) then just come up with every excuse you can think of for not attending meetings and not wanting to discuss your feelings with elders. Just tell them that you have certain issues you need to work out yourself, and that if you need their help, you'll get in touch. Thank them for their concern. Don't explain anything further than that, or you'll invite further inquiry.

AlanF

orangefatcat

I agree with Alan F don't be intimidated by the elders, the less said the better it is for you. Each time they say they would like to come over, just tell them you a previos commitment, or I like the one, that we are sick with the flu. By putting them off they will give up. But then when its time for the C.O. visit they will start bugging you again. You rule your roost, not them.
Good Luck

PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME!!

David Gladden

Every time they want to see you, your away, sick, out, visiting relatives, wil get back to you
Eventually they will go away

Jim,

I tried that and the elders started "ambushing" me. I would come home from work only to find them parked in my driveway waiting for me.

They would not leave me alone until they got what they wanted. [>:(]

toddy

Tell them you both suffer from claustraphobia so you can't attend meetings because there are no windows and that makes you condition worse!

Shepherding call

Share this