Has your anger turned to pity?

by journey-on 41 Replies latest jw friends

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  journey-on

  Getting through the tough steps toward REAL freedom from the WTS involves a lot of work for some. Many, start out angry that their authentic lives were hampered by a high-control group of men posing as God's organization. We feel robbed of something we can't quite put our finger on sometimes.

  We may not only become angry with the "religion", but angry with ourselves for allowing them to manipulate us, divide our family, use us (our labor, our $$, our hearts) and otherwise deceive us. (Well, we WERE told that there would be those who come as angels of light but are really wolves in sheep's clothing.) Those with half a brain that begin to see through it all sometimes become deeply hurt at all the losses and have difficulty getting on track emotionally.

  I'm way past the angry stage. But, this morning I got an email from a friend (a "weak" yet still-believing JW) preaching to me about how close the end is and how earthquakes are occurring on one place after another....blah blah blah blah blah. And, make sure I attend the Memorial (the only meeting my friend ever attends anymore).

  Then after reading some of the threads this morning regarding some of the new articles in the Watchtower about apostates, shunning family, etc. I just felt an overwhelming sense of true PITY for them.

  I looked up the meaning of "pity" and I just want to mass mail to every JW a sympathy card, especially my friend who has never been able to cut that last thread of hope that keeps her going every April to her one meeting.

  Just venting a little this morning on this board to keep from sending a sarcastic email back to her.
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  snowbird

  I feel pity for those individual JW's who sincerely believe they are doing God's will by preaching WT doctrine at every opportunity.

  At one time, I believed that, also.

  My little JW daughter still does.

  The GB gets no pity from me - only contempt.

  They have to know what they're doing is wrong.

  Syl
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  undercover

  I feel frustration with a smattering of pity and still some occasional anger sprinkled on top for flavor.

  I fully understand that it's a cult and that cult members never know they're in a cult until they're out. I understand that people who believe in something strongly enough cannot be shown to be wrong no matter the amount of evidence or illogical the belief is. People who want to believe, will believe.

  And that's frustrating. You can't get to their real brain because their WT indoctrinated brain won't let them think. Once you realize that you're not going to get anywhere, you let it go and you wait for those rare oppurtunities to drop a hint or question that hopefully cause them to think. Until then you have to pity them because they are prisoners but don't realize it.

  But some are so sanctimonious and self-righteous that my pity is not wasted on them. Some of these types are people that I wouldn't like no matter what religion or lifestyle they were. Their core personality pisses me off. And it's those people a lot of times who seem to lead the way in forcing the dogmatic approach to JWism and life itself in the congregations, which makes me mad, because it affects those that I do pity and hope to reach one day.
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  journey-on

  The GB gets no pity from me - only contempt

  I wonder though, Sylvia, if the GB aren't also pawns being used by the real powers behind the scenes. If they are the real manipulators, then, of course, there is NO PITY for them. But, something tells me there are "big business" people calling the shots and manipulating the others.

  But some are so sanctimonious and self-righteous that my pity is not wasted on them. Some of these types are people that I wouldn't like no matter what religion or lifestyle they were. Their core personality pisses me off. And it's those people a lot of times who seem to lead the way in forcing the dogmatic approach to JWism and life itself in the congregations, which makes me mad, because it affects those that I do pity and hope to reach one day.

  I hear 'ya, undercover! But even those people have my pity because most of them are and would be nothing if they didn't have "position" in their congregation. In the congregation, they can be a big fish in a small pond, whereas, in the real world they would be less than a minnow most probably in the huge ocean.
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  nugget

  I pity individuals who sincerely believe and have shunned family members even though it brought about real pain and hardship. I do not pity those who are in it for the power and who crush the spirit of others to maintain their power over the group. I do not pity the governing body who live in comfort and yet put unrealistic burdens on others. They must know that this is a lie and if they don't they shouldn't be in charge since they are not doing a good job of monitoring the spiritual food others are forced to partake.
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  leavingwt

  Good question.

  I successfully rescued ALL of my family from the cult. Therefore, I'm mostly left with Pity and Amusement.

  However, when I do have occasion to interact with a former "friend" who has only recently discovered my apostasy, I flirt with some anger -- but I don't respond.

  Here is a recent example, from a former Bethelite, current pioneer/elder, who sent me a Friend Request on Facebook. Noticing my beard in my Facebook photos, he proceeded to make all sorts of assumptions. I gently brought him up to speed regarding my apostasy, and I shared my DA letter with him.

  Below, is an excerpt from one of his subsequent emails to me. (Not much I can really respond to, because of his gross ignorance. I did, however, reply, telling him that I am most definitely an Apostate, in every sense of the word, WT and Webster's.)

  It sounds to me like you made an emotional decision supported by the writings of those who truly are apostate that was later worsened by brothers you did not know how to respond, comfort, assist, or give you whatever you needed, but maybe I am wrong. The word "apostate" does carry a sharp sting and is sometimes assigned prematurely to those with genuine concerns. Unfortunately, some lack the spiritual qualifications to "reprove those who contradict" as the apostle Paul put it and it probably is in their best interest to steer clear of anything that smacks of apostasy. What you wrote in your letter borrows the language and reasoning used by apostates, but that doesn't necessarily make you one. I have studied with too many people who have read and relayed the same stuff from the web to be too put off by it. [LeavingWT], you went from A to C when you needed to go from A to Z. That is the reason why we warn our people so intensely against apostate literature, because from A to C apostates sometime sound right. You have to follow the flawed logic to the end to reveal the flaw. After the one elder gave you the response he did, you should have sought out the help of someone who could go beyond the surface. That's why we have traveling overseers and others. You could have called a mature friend in NY, someone with a really strong grasp of the scriptures. I imagine that that was hard while being called an apostate, so you instead went a different way. Or, maybe you examined everything that we believe and teach and found it to be utterly wrong, that there is no such thing as "truth", and that this life is all there is and our only hope is in the hands of ourselves, politicians, financial systems, and serendipity. I doubt it but, maybe you now view the Witnesses as a scourge on the planet that needs to be put out of existence as real apostates do. I'm not sure which, but I think that the latter would be worse. I am really sorry to hear that you made the choice the letter indicates and even more sorry to see that you have become embittered toward all of us. It is not too late to change your mind.
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  miseryloveselders

  For some people I have an emotion that I don't know if it can be labeled as pity per say. There's one sister at my congregation who is the epitome of irritation. She whines, complains, is unsatisfied about her lot in life, can be selfish, and is just a miserable person to be around. I'm convinced that if it wasn't for this religion, she'd have nothing and nobody in this life. With this religion, it gives her a reason to feel special, it provides her with an ego. When her workmates celebrate someone's birthday, she can feel special because she's one of Jehovah's Witnesses. A bunch of other Christians are celebrating Easter, well she's one of Jehovah's Witnesses and she's going to observe the Memorial this Sunday, April 17th 2011. You get my drift, she's not just a Christian, she's a True Christian, one of Jehovah's Witnesses. When you read that, did you hear the angels singing in the background?

  I understand more than ever what Nietzche meant when he said that religion is a disease and its designed to bring the healthy down onto the same level as the sick. People like this sister, are sick, and most people avoid her like the plague that she is. However with the peculiar social dynamics of this religion, its not an easy task to get away from people like her. As a result when I see her, and people like her at the hall, I feel a combination of pity, but I also have resentment towards them because I desperately want to put as much distance between myself and people like her as possible, but there's consequences involving my family and reputation if I put too much distance between myself and the sick.

  There's another, older brother at my hall whom I love dearly, but I have some criticism towards him as he's a company man through and through. I don't want to get into that, but this past week after the meeting, I was making my way up the parking lot to my car. It was dark outside, and I saw this van heading towards my direction, and I didn't recognize it until it pulled up beside me and the window came down. It was him and his wife, two of the nosiest people you could ever come across, but they have a lot of good qualities too which I feel needs to be mentioned anytime their negatives are discussed. He told me he looked forward to seeing me on Sunday, and told me that I won't see him on Saturday for whatever reasons. I said ok, and wished them well, drive safe and all that jazz. As I said, they're older, and when they pulled off I thought to myself how delusional they are for believing in this organization. However, this organization is all they have. In that sense I pity them because they've invested more into this organization than I'm prepared to do at this time. But this religion gives them a hope, and it would be cruel if that was taken away from them after all these years. So again, I feel pity, but at the same time a tinge of resentment because what gives them hope, is the source of my discontent.

  Is there a word or term that implies both hope and resentment at the same time?
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  OUTLAW

  I have no Pity for Fools..

  If you still need to be told what to do,as a grown adult..

  You deserve what you get..

  I pity the people around JW`s,that have to put up with endless WBT$/JW BS..

  Nothing short of a Bullet in the Head will shut some JW`s up..

  

  ...OUTLAW
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  sabastious

  If you still need to be told what to do,as a grown adult..

  "Told what to do" is a good term to use I think. Because, even as adults, we still need tutelage, guidance and people to look up to.

  -Sab
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  trevor

  An interesting question - one which I have answered a number of times on this board. My anger turned to pity but that emotion has also passed. We are each ultimately responsible for the views and attitudes we sustain for the long term.

  I have accepted the path that rank and file Jehovah’s Witnesses have, for the present, have decided to walk.They too have had to accept my path. Regrettably those paths no longer cross. It has been a long journey but I have arrived at ‘acceptance’ without blame or recrimination.