Funniest JW memory? (page 2)

Mary

Another funny one (courtesy of yours truly) was another CO's visit. I was sitting with my parents and the CO opens his talk by asking "Who was Ahab? (obviously referring to Jezebel's hubby)" I leaned over and whispered to my mom "Didn't he kill Moby Dick?" Well my mother was trying not to laugh but it was hard not to. Then she'd stop. Then a few minutes later she'd start laughing again. Then she'd stop. Finally had to get up and go in the bathroom she was laughing so hard.

the max

Me and my ex missus,who was, and still is a Pioneer, used to love singing , 666 the Number of the beast, by Iron Maiden between doors, Also remember an occasion a few years ago at the memorial, the bungling old Irish Elder, a really lovely old guy, took him 60 years to make elder hopeless old boy, who the nasty younger impatient, arrogant elders could barely contain their contempt for, anyway the old boy is put on sound(A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN) The vile, 2 faced little pile of shit taking the memorial, strutting about the stage full of his own self importance,discovers that the sound dept, has a gremlin, nothing is working no mikes no cd nothing. 200 people crammed into the hall, the CO in attendence, and this prick hoping to impress enough, so can get a slot at the District assembly. The whole show is in meltdown,Elders running to and fro frantic apologies offered, 5 minutes pass, total fucking shambles ,I just remember relishing that situation, that scrotum of a human being, Crashing and dying, in front of me.Turns out the old boy had pulled out some cables, and forgot to put them back. (It still gives me a warm glow now, when I think of it)

keyser soze

My grandmother, when she started losing her mind, saying in a loud voice, right as it got quiet, and the meeting was about to start, "I forgot my damn bible!"

DesirousOfChange

Another funny one (courtesy of yours truly(obviously referring to Jezebel's hubby)" I leaned over and whispered to my mom "Didn't he kill Moby Dick?"

ROFLMAO

Searchn4answrs

At a convention when food was still provided ..Fighting with my younger cousin about who was getting the last chocolate pudding...The pudding popped open and splatered all over an elderly sisters, white plush shawl...YIKES!!!We quietly crept away!!

Lunatic Faith

And the king was sitting in the winter house, in the ninth month, with a brazier burning before him. 23 Then it came about that as soon as Je·hu′di had read three or four page-columns, he proceeded to tear it apart with the secretary's knife, pitching [it] also into the fire that was in the brazier until all the roll ended up in the fire that was in the brazier.

I remember a talk given by an MS where he didn't know how to pronounce brazier and kept pronouncing it brassiere. Burning brassieres in the bible...

Another brother reading from revelation got to the part about the beast eating up her fleshy parts, and read it "eating up her pithy farts".

EXMS

I got two.

I was at a TMS meeting and at the end for the concluding song a prayer, an old brother who was an MS, was giving the prayer. In the prayer he was mentioning an elderly sister that had fallen and broke her collar bone. He said, and I qoute, "And Jehovah please also be with Sister Gorhom. As you know she took a nasty step and fell and broke her collar bone. but thank God she's alright!"

I was one of the few readers during the meetings. Whether it be the WT or the Book Study. I am good reader, and can get through some of the hardest readings with no problems. But there was one word that I always messed up on. I used to always mix up Incense with Incest. And most of the time I would never know it until I saw everybody laughing in the audience.

Joey Jo-Jo

one was a mick turned on in the bathroom while he was taking a leak and the other was a talk that he waved his middle finger around without realising it.

organisms mixed up with orgasms.

Sargeant Pepper

For a laugh a brother dropped a condom into the COs ministry bag. The following week a very p*ssed of PO mentioned it during his review of the CO visit. LMAO.

Highlander

We had our bookstudy at my Great Grandparents home. Great Grandpa recently had another stroke, so there was a significant personality change. My grandpa was the bookstudy conductory. As my Grandpa was talking to the group, my great grandpa yelled to my grandpa: "What's he preaching about now!"

Funniest JW memory?

Share this