Slandered At the Circuit Assembly & My Letter To My Mother (page 5)

sir82

They said we have to do this 'theocratically'.

Yeah, tell that to your lawyer, and watch him ROFL.

"Theocratically"!

Hey guess what you Bethel goobers! "Theocratically" ain't the way the world works.

metatron

My Dear, the insurance company analogy is correct. They want this to go away, quietly, with no bother to them.

Consult a lawyer and tell the Society that you want a written apology read in the congregations. The slander was public, so the apology needs to be public as well. They are free to phrase it to protect themselves (as in 'we're sorry if any misunderstanding took place'). If they balk, remind them that this incident is widely known and it will be said that 'the Society refused to apologize for their behavior'.

metatron

Pistoff

What Metatron said, ditto.

And now you see what the WT is really like.

They tolerate lying when it suits their purposes. When the truth of a matter isn't important to them, they have no interest in it.

I heard a woman slander her ex onstage at a CA in the 90's; you could hear jaws dropping. The CO just took her word for it, and didn't check the facts.

I am sorry you had to go through it.

GrandmaJones

I can say this - what goes round, come round. People who do things like your ex, they get paid back with what some call "bad Karma'. things will not go well in his life. Serves him right.

Scully

When the attendant came by our seats with the wine he paused for a moment at S*****'s seat realizing he had stepped out. Once everyone had passed the wine the elders also stopped to pass to the brother by the door. S***** was a few feet away - totally visible through the glass but was trying not to disturb the ceremony with J*****'s fussing. They saw him out there but just ignored him and walked away. There is no mistaking what happened. It was deliberate - very obviously deliberate.

(My sister) saw the whole thing. She was so angry that she called me as soon as we got home. She said she had to hold herself back from yelling: "EXCUSE ME YOU MISSED SOMEONE!"

Wow, that brings back some horrible memories for me. It happened to me too, at the 1994 Memorial™ and as I was going through postpartum depression at the time, I wound up in hospital because I became suicidal. I figured that if I wasn't "good enough" to have the Emblems™ passed to me, while there were DFd people there having the Emblems™ passed to them, I may as well get it over with and save Jehovah the trouble of destroying me at Armageddon™. That was when I made up my mind that I had to get out of the JWs before I went out of my mind or ended up dead.

I'm sorry your ex-husband slandered you publicly too. I had him pegged as a bully on the previous thread of yours that I posted to - this just confirms my suspicions, in spades. I hope your children weren't there to hear him speak about you that way. I hope you also filed criminal charges against him that he uttered death threats against you and compelled you to leave your home with the children because you feared for your life. Public record, my dear. Public record. He is a bully and an abusive partner. You need to find a way to get your children as far away as possible from him, because if he's willing to vilify you to an audience of 800+ people, he's doing it in private with your children.

GLTirebiter

Julia, I'm sorry to hear the story. There is no excuse for slandering you in public, especially at an event where your children would be present.

To keep this as short and sweet as possible, when I left my husband with the children it was because he threatened my life and repeated the threat to my sister.

My parents forced me to call the police and a women's shelter. Once the police heard the story they were going to go and pick him up from work but I asked them to caution him only. I didn't want to make the situation worse.

I hope you follow the advice to consult an attorney, for your children's sake. If he threatened you, he is capable of doing the same (or worse) to them. See if you can get the custody arrangement changed, child support, etc. Don't let him hurt them, physically, emotionally or in any other way.

poopsiecakes

omg Julia what a nightmare!

I can't believe what that bum did to you. There's some really great advice here and I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. Don't let them make you back down, sweetie.

PublishingCult

What your husband did was inexcusable. Forgivable? hmmm

Enough is enough.

My JW xwife kicked me out mainly because I was disfellowshipped for smoking, backed up by the elders and all her friends, OUR friends. She was withholding my children from me saying I was a spiritual danger to them, and demanded I get reinstated before she would consider reconciling with me. I was jumping through hoops for a while trying to become the spiritual man she was demanding of me. I finally told her to screw herself, and got me a girlfriend. But the entire time she was having an affair with one of my friends. When our divorce was final, she married him . . . and the kicker is that they managed to keep the affair and their subsequent disfellowshipping hidden from me for a long time. They forbade the kids to tell me, lol.

Many people leave the organization of JW's looking ahead through tear-dimned eyes and carrying a heavy heart. It does get better, though, head. I don't know how old your children are, but the one of the biggest reliefs comes when they are grown and you no longer have to deal with custody, visitation, and all that. Negotiating all of that with a JW parent "in good standing" is an ongoing nightmare until the kids come of age.

Thoughts are with you. good luck.

headisspinning

If you see my other thread you will notice that this situation has lead to some progress being made with my mom.

As for my ex I got a stupid email from him. This is my reply to his stupidity:

You basically lied through omission with your opening words. You gave the impression that totally without warning I just up and ran off with the kids. You made yourself out to be an innocent victim in all of this. And you did it in front of my kids. To me, that is the part that I can't let go. The honest and humble thing to have done is refuse the part entirely. You are in no position to be used as an example in any way in regard to this situation. The elders who put on the assembly program had a responsibility to thoroughly investigate all the background information. That clearly wasn't done. You should have lost privileges and been disciplined over what happened when our marriage fell apart. The brothers were either very merciful with you or maybe they just couldn't be bothered. But you are obviously delusional to think that people didn't see through to the reality of the situation. As for the rest of it - I'm not going to DO anything. I'm just not going to keep fighting a losing battle. I just want peace.

ziddina

Wow, HeadIsSpinning, that is terrible!!

I totally agree with what Scully said above on page #3 -

"I had him pegged as a bully on the previous thread of yours that I posted to - this just confirms my suspicions, in spades. I hope your children weren't there to hear him speak about you that way. I hope you also filed criminal charges against him that he uttered death threats against you and compelled you to leave your home with the children because you feared for your life. Public record, my dear. Public record. He is a bully and an abusive partner. You need to find a way to get your children as far away as possible from him, because if he's willing to vilify you to an audience of 800+ people, he's doing it in private with your children. ..."

ESpecially the part about "public record". Get a recording of your ex's comments at the assembly if at all possible - your lawyer may be able to use it, too...

I also want to thank you for sharing your experience with us. Hearing your side of the situation sheds a great deal of light on some other "experiences" I've heard, from the podium at circuit and district assemblies...

Zid

Slandered At the Circuit Assembly & My Letter To My Mother

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