I just don't talk about it. I practiced in front of a mirror a shocked and reproving look along with the phrase. "That's something deeply personal that I don't want to discuss."
Rinse and repeat as needed.
Are you still on your local congregation's radar because of out of town family?
by VampireDCLXV 17 Replies latest jw experiences
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3Mozzies
I am still in the same area as my last KH. I have family that attend the same KH that I use to go to. I know the elders have asked about me to my family members but my family have given them nothing of value (for D'Fing me). I am clearly an apostate to my family, they know it ALL. I have bad mouthed the GB & the JW religion to the max to my family, yet they have not and will not turn me in to be D'Fed. My family are full on Dubs. Says a lot about them following the 'slave' ... [Are you reading this Bethel? You are losing control over your robots, family are more important to them than the dorky FDS/GB]
I say stay where you are Vamp, sounds like your life there is going well and only getting better.
3M
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VampireDCLXV
BUMP!
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Mad Sweeney
I really love them, so the thought of me hurting them kills me....it makes me sick. That's what I'm doing to them, but staying in the religion hurts me. I have to choose, hurt them or hurt myself.
You're thinking like an indoctrinated JW right there. You are NOT doing ANYthing to them. They are indoctrinated to blame you just as you have been indoctrinated to blame yourself but the kicker is this: NEITHER of you are at fault. It is the Borg programming that has done it. It has taught them to fear what you are doing and to fear association with you. It has taught them that Jehovah their loving God is going to kill you and that it will be because YOU asked for it; it will be loving divine justice.
NONE OF IT IS TRUE.
It isn't your fault. It isn't their fault. It is the cult's fault. Somewhere inside them are people who love you. They just don't know how to show it anymore. The programming is complete.
Never give up hope, though. Thousands figure it all out and leave the cult every year. Odds aren't necessarily great but they could be next. Never give up.
Good luck!
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Meeting Junkie No More
I don't think we're even a blip on anyone's radar, even after attending the Memorial. Everybody saw us again, 3rd time (it's the only meeting we go to) and of course they asked if they'd see us again soon (Special talk on May 1). I said, sorry, we already have plans that day, and they'll see us same time next year, probably, Memorial only! Said it very convincingly and with a straight face. I think jdubs have a very difficult time seeing people who have 'left' - they are so awkward about it. Want to be encouraging, but want to show their disgust at your resurfacing for this one meeting all at the same time! So difficult to do, but they try anyway.
With our out-of-town family, we don't know where we stand. Were they ever family anyway? Although they are family in the physical sense, they have more or less looked down on us for their uber-righteous zealotry for as long as we can remember and we're glad to be free of it! We're not even sure they know we no longer attend. It's the elephant in the room. They don't broach the subject, neither do we, if and when we see them - weddings and funerals for the most part only. There's probably some rumours going 'round, but nothing that translates into genuine concern about our everlasting welfare. They just want to see our bums in the KH seats - not going to happen!
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NomadSoul
I'm probably the number one reason why my family doesn't go to the meetings that often anymore. Blood is thicker than water after a while. I know it's not the case for everyone.
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blondie
No, they know where I am...I live in town still...my family know to stay away, not to drop by. We screen our calls and delete family. We shred all cards and letters. I am careful who I give my e-mail to. But if you choose to give out of town family your info, be assured they will send the elders after you to save you from permanent death at Armageddon. The only way you can control that is to not give your family that info or send the local elders on their way and say you will call them if you need them.
Just in the last 6 months elders have dropped by unannounced, uninvited. We either just ignore them or if we have a minute, go out on the porch and see what they have to say, keeping it brief. Just once the frustration of one of them manifested it in a question designed to get you to distance yourself officially from the WTS....we have learned to say, "you said that not me."
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VampireDCLXV
I guess we have another small handful of comments here...
@Mad Sweeney
Right on! You said it better than I could. It ultimately is the fault of the men at the top, fade_away. Don't blame yourself. We've all been duped in one form or another...
@Meeting Junkie No More
It's quite interesting, isn't it, how JWs try to fake a caring attitude but fail so miserably at it because they can't hide their dismay and disgust for the paths we choose that are different from what they want us to take. It really is hard not to talk about the 'elephant in the room' even though it looms larger than almost anything. It really is best to avoid talking about religion.
@Nomad Soul
You really are luckier than most (and I'm sure you know it). The WTS and the GB that controls it wouldn't be the monstrosities they are today if more ppl would chose their families over what some stodgy, corrupt old men in an ivory tower have to say...
@blondie
I feel bad for you because of your having to take such drastic measures. I'm sure it is all quite necessary though. If worst comes to worst, a toxic family must be put aside and firm boundaries must be put in place. Any gestapo that come around must be firmly dealt with as well.
V665
