I've compiled my list of the 10 worst comedians EVER. And they are as follows:
Jay Leno - Just a massively tired and unfunny tool who should be burned for what he did to Conan especially.
Talented opposite: Conan O'brien or Jimmy Kimmel.
Carrot Top - Somehow figured out how to make a career out of prop comedy. I'll give him that much.
Talented opposite: This is tough because prop comedy is deader than Ghenkis Khan. Any suggestions? The Amazing Jonathan?
Gallagher - Pre-Carrot Top.
Talented opposite: Dave Chappelle's "Black Gallagher".
Carlos 'Ned' Mencia - Mencia is to ethnic jokes what Ryan Leaf was to 1st round QBs.
Talented opposite: Dave Chappelle
Paula Poundstone - About as funny as childhood diabetes.
Talented opposite: I was going to say Sarah Silverman, but she annoys me lately.
Dean Cook - Frat boy who uses flailing hand gestures and screeching noises to fill the gap in his soul where humor should be.
Talented opposite: Nick Swardson or Patton Oswalt
Jeff Dunham - racist, unfunny, right-wing puppets designed to make JWN trolls chuckle. Also, he sucks as a ventriloquist.
Talented opposite: Neil Hamburger (although he doesn't use puppets)
Larry The CableGuy - I once tried to watch one of his performances, but 5 minutes in, I found myself writing a check out to the Taliban.
Talented opposite: Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P.), Dave Attell or Brian Posehn.
Whoopi Goldberg - Self-righteous. Her natural habitat is standing on a soap-box. Least funny of the Comic Relief Trio and considering that the other two are Billy Crystal and Robin Williams, that's pretty bad.
talented opposite: Tracy Morgan
Lisa Lampanelli - She's white. She's loud-mouthed. She has a thing for black guys. That's gold, Jerry. Gold!
talented opposite: Maria Bamford
I challenge you to come up with your own list. If you disagree with this list, it probably means you are not as comically gifted, sexy or intelligent as I am. But for the sake of discussion, I will humor your suggestions, providing that you offer an explanation for your choices.