I have a theory that you can use out-of-context scriptures and warped logic to prove anything.
Go on try me... LOL Tell me something unbelieveable and I'll try to come back with something.
by ballistic 17 Replies latest jw friends
I have a theory that you can use out-of-context scriptures and warped logic to prove anything.
Go on try me... LOL Tell me something unbelieveable and I'll try to come back with something.
You sure can. They walk among us.
OK, well I don't know if the flat earth society use scripture but here goes:
Revelation 7 : 1 "After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree."
This proves the earth is flat because a square or rectangle has four corners. There are no corners at all on a circle or sphere.
its a fact - you can do this.
Ive seen some real doozies over the years especially new agers who like to mix up different theologies to prove the reptiles who came in spaceships are ruling the earth only 'we' cant tell because they are shape shifters (Google David Icke) ... I cant believe just how MANY of these peopel there are... all convinced of something totally bizzare but twisted scriptures.
A classic from jwfiles.com
QUESTIONS FROM READERS
"Is it appropriate for a Christian to own a cat in light of their past pagan religions affiliation and the new medical information that is now coming to light?"
Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should own cats in view of their sorted past and many health risks. What may be acceptable to one person may, although unintentionally, stumble another. This can become a life-or-death issue since to stumble a brother that Christ died for is tantamount to "putting a millstone around the neck and being thrown into the sea." Clearly our eternal salvation is involved.
First let us consider what most scholars agree is the original Koine Greek for the English word "cat". Felos Domesticus meaning literally "a contemporary housecat with all of its beastly identifying characteristics and behavior." A faithful servant of Jehovah would quickly notice that the nature of a cat is "beastly". The bible makes clear reference to this condition when describing parts of Satan's organizations past and present. For instance the fearsome "beasts" as described in Daniel or the "scarlet colored wild beast" in Revelation. The demons entered the swine when rebuked by Jesus showing the potential harm and demon control that a Christian may potentially expose themselves and others too. Lest we forget the condition of God's enemy when being humbled by Jehovah, Nebuchadnessor. Is it by accident that the Bible describes his experience as a "beast" of the field? Hardly!
Clearly the Bible by using this kind of Original Greek shows beyond a doubt that the basic nature of cats is evil or "beastlike". This is condition is reflected in the "Original Serpent", the "Great Dragon" Satan the devil!
There are numerous reasons why a loyal dedicated servant of God should use their Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why cats are not for Christians.
Consider the following facts.
Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not fitting a Christian: Coughing up furballs, licking inappropriate body areas, urination on the floor, eating dead animals often with their blood, sexual misconduct without the benefit of marriage, abuse of catnip an intoxicating herb, and stealing food from the table, just to name a few. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that "neither fornicators….nor thieves will…inherit the Kingdom." In addition, the Apostle Paul admonishes us to "quit mixing in company" with such unclean ones. Although Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this Inspired Biblical principle can not be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness in any form is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt that loyal Christians must avoid all association with all sources of uncleanness which would logically include animals that harbor such practices.
Are we not grateful for Gods viewpoint on such matters? True worshipers follow closely Gods mandates on cleanness to their eternal benefit! Sister Catless tells us that since getting rid of her cat, she has not had to be preoccupied with cleaning the litterbox or the burden of purchasing cat food. This has allowed her to spend more time to go pioneering and finds that it is now easier to meet her allotted hours in field service.
Brother Dognow puts it this way, "I'm so grateful that God's organization is kept clean! It has freed me from the burden of owning a cat and all the pitfalls that go with it. I hope all the brothers will realize how the Devil subtly uses cats to corrupt and distract us from the preaching work." (Matt. 24:14)
What fine examples of faithfulness! As loyal followers of Jehovah's thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system, the "Lion will lie down with the lamb". Yes, when Satan is finely abyssed the "beastly" nature of felines will be gone! But until that soon approaching time, God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit through the "Faithful and discreet slave".
Poopsie, is that a real article?
It's satire, NomadSoul and sadly I didn't write it myself...wish I did though
hahaha It's so good I couldn't the difference!
Oh, and Ballistic, prove that we are the center of the universe.
The first sentence gave it away that it wasn't really a WT article, when it said "sorted" past instead of "sordid". But funny as hell nonetheless!
One thing about the Watchtower: The rags may be full of bullshit, but it's free of grammatical and spelling mistakes.
LOL! I was thinking the same thing.