Farkel .........just spewed my coffee reading this. You should hold yourself back a little when composing these things .... geez I almost choked!! lol
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"Satan: "What do you mean by the last rule?"
Dad: "Well, since sex is only for procreation, we can only have sex to procreate. To ensure that this happens, all sex must be performed in the presence of a Judicial Committee and any sexual position or foreplay not approved by the Governing Body will result in death. By stoning. The Committee grades the sex on the "Publishers Sexual Report Card. 'G' is for Good, 'N' is for Need to Improve, and 'W' is for Weird. Anyone who gets a 'W' is stoned to death."
Satan: "How would one get a "need to improve'' grade.?"
Dad: "By making the sex last longer than 2 minutes. Ten 'N's" within 1,000 years and you're dead. If we can get it down to 45 seconds, we get a 'G', though".
Satan: "What must one do to get a "W" or 'Weird' grade?"
Dad: "Lots of things: moaning, calling out for God, saying "yes, YES, YES", and any position other than "missionary style" will all result in punishment. Every sexual act is recorded on video and put into the publisher's permanent record. Two 'W's" and you're dead."
Satan: "Wow. That's pretty intense. Are you happy living in Paradise?"
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clarity