Yes, I spent too much time in the sun baking and burning. Now I have wrinkles. So I blame the Borg because they promised me everlasting youth.
Do You Blame Your Current Life's Issues Because You Were A JW?
by minimus 63 Replies latest jw friends
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Magwitch
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OnTheWayOut
I do tend to blame the Jehovah's Witnessses for some of my current issues. I ran up debt because the end was coming. I made every bit of my decisions either for the life of a JW or despite being a JW. Luckily, many were the latter. Still, better decisions could have been made, less time could have been wasted, more money could have been available for alternatives.
Even while trying to change my attitude to "despite being a JW, I did okay," Undercover's "conversely" question is valid.
Your question is "loaded" because touchy-feelie cutsey philosophy is supposed to make us think that our obstacles led us to be the people we are today. I am supposed to think that my JW sidetrack of life led to my wife and my career and things would be completely different without that sidetrack. WELL, SCREW THAT.
While I love my wife and my career, I give absolutely no credit to JW's for those. Life would have been completely different, great. Let life be completely different for future generations by abolishing Jehovah's Witnesses. Free my captive relatives and let their lives finish differently. We don't credit slavery for making African Americans into what they were/are. We recognize any acheivements to be "despite" that background.
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undercover
I guess it depends on the defintion of "blame".
It's easy to blame a dysfunctional past for our current problems.
With the exception of certain extreme cases (abuse, etc.) I don't see the advantage or blaming a rigid, controlling religion for any of our problems, issues.
Yes, we were affected, yes, some life decisions may have been made differently if we hadn't been involved, but what is is what is. You can't go back and change history. You have to deal with what history resulted in for you, but since you can't change it, it does no good to blame the past for where you're at now. Better to face the situation and find a better way forward.
That's not to say that we shouldn't acknowledge how our upbringing or association with JWs affected us and our situation. Acknowledging is part of recovering. But to me, acknowledging is different than blaming. Blaming signifies, in my mind, the act of not only holding the religion responsible for how we were affected then, but now as well. I personally have a problem with that. I may acknowledge the past and how fucked up it was, but from this point forward, I'd prefer to focus on how to move forward despite the dysfunctional past.
If you're in a war battle and you lost a limb, you can blame the war, the CO, the enemy, whoever, for you losing your limb. But the fact remains...you lost a limb. Wallowing in the blame game will not replace the limb or even help you focus on learning to live without it. Once you focus on how to recover from the loss, you can recover and adapt to the new situation more readily. Yes, you're still scarred...part of you is missing. But you're not focusing on what is gone...you're focusing on what you still have and how you can make best use of it.
Today's "undercover's philosophical ramblings" are brought to you by Crown Royal (mixed with Ginger Ale). Enjoy responsibly...but don't blame us if you don't
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yknot
No....
I know it ultimately always comes down to self-discipline......
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dinah
Good thread.
I like what you said Undercover.
Me? I spent my entire life expecting to die in two years because I was df'd at 18 and had no desire to go back. It would have been a handy piece of information to have--knowing that I'd be 43 and still alive.
Blame them? In some ways, in other ways I blame myself for not leaving the mentality of it behind sooner.
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unshackled
Just seen this quote...
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
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VIII
So many people blame "not going to college", "not getting a college education" on the WT.
How many people in the US go to college and complete that education?
According to Wikipedia, which pulled it's data from the US Census, 27%.
So, 27% of YOU would have gone on to college and completed a Bachelors degree. Yet, the main gripe is "I didn't get to go to college". Were you qualified? Did you take the testing? Did you and/or your parents have the funding and the means to go to college. College ain't cheap. Even 25 years ago, it was expensive and college loans had an interest rate of 15%. Currently they are 7%. A few years ago they were 3%. That is huge over the repayment period and can make the difference between purchasing a much needed car and/or a home.
So, for the 27% of you who could have/would have gone--what would you have studied? Did you have a plan? I did. I went. I paid my loans (15%) off in my alloted 10 years and rented a crappy apartment.
What about you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educational_attainment_in_the_United_States
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OUTLAW
Today's "undercover's philosophical ramblings" are brought to you by Crown Royal (mixed with Ginger Ale).....UC
Herasy!..Sacrilige!..The UnHoly of UnHolys!..
Crown Royal..Chilled..Served straight up..
You get Points for having Good Taste in Canadian Whiskey thou..
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...OUTLAW -
dinah
Outlaw, I like Canadian Club. Does that make me less discerning?
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OUTLAW
Hey Dinah!..
CC is fine..I prefer Crown Royal thou..It`s a smoother whiskey..
If you get a chance,try Highland Park 18 year old Scotch..
If I could afford it..Thats all I would drink..
Dam..That is a fine single malt..
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...OUTLAW
