Perhaps some helpful advice. My rant on the JW mindset.

by garyneal 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    Pride and prejudice abound in the Watchtower religion.

    I go to the assemblies and it becomes very clear that the speakers are so proud of the fact that their religion is the one true religion and that they are so much better than the other churches out there. The amount of pride I heard coming from the platform is astounding. Astounding still is the fact that they cannot see it themselves and at one point in time, I could not see it either. Being awake really opens your eyes to see things you could not see before and it has taught me a lot about my own beliefs and the way I use to view others who did not share them.

    This level of pride really blinds the believer in many ways. But to be fair, I want to make sure there are no blinders on my own eyes. My wife says that I only come here to hear what I want to hear. It is true that members here, like myself, tend to filter things even to the point of not opening threads that we believe are not important to us. However, with so many atheists here and the fact that practically no one here sees any merit in the Christian belief system, I hardly see this forum as a place where I can get my ego stroked. Quite the opposite, actually, as it made me really examine my own faith to see if we are any better than the witnesses we criticize. Sadly, I've learned that in the worst possible ways, we aren't and sometimes I wonder if Christianity is really everything it is cracked up to be.

    That does not bother me as much as the fact that my wife thinks that I turned my back on her religion simply because I want to do whatever I want without remorse. What an absurd statement and what a way to trivialize everything I've done when searching for what really is or is not true.

    I suppose to a Jehovah's Witness, it is not possible to deny the religion for any good reason. Something must be wrong with you to learn the truth and then deny it. One reason why I like this board is because I can actually understand to a degree what former JW's must be dealing with from their JW relatives. While I was never a witness myself, their thinking affected me to the point to where I was seriously considering becoming a part of this religion. Now, I am no longer meek and teachable.

    If I have blinders on, please help me lift them so I can see the truth. But bashing my character when I made a sincere effort to find the so called one true religion for myself is just a tactic to deflect the conversation from considering the facts to simply considering the source. MIND OFF!!! Not to mention that it is also offensive and somewhat hurtful to know that my wife thinks I am vain and shallow to think that all I want is to satisfy my vain interests above doing what is right (whatever that seems to be). Sadly, I can think of times when I use to do something like this to others too back when I was soooo convinced that I knew I had the right beliefs. What a fool I was.

    Sometimes, I think we go through life seeking the approval of others. We actually define ourselves according to what others think of us. Seems crazy but I know that there is a saying that says, "It is not what we think of ourselves but what others think of us that defines our character." At least, I think that is how it goes. But what if those people who we are trying to please are wrong in some way? Assuming we can define what wrong really means.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    I completely hear what you are saying and agree with your logic. It is spinning our wheels to think that most JW's will be able to take the blinders off to believing they have the holy grail for right and wrong. At least you are able to be married to a JW, and hopefully she is a good wife, despite her refusal to look past the blinders. I take my hat off to ya for listening to the garbage at the assemblies, which are usually the most nauseating.

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    I take my hat off to ya for listening to the garbage at the assemblies, which are usually the most nauseating.

    I have a love hate feeling concerning the assemblies. I hate the anti-college, anti-every other religion rants coming from the podiums. I especially hate the comparisons of worldly families to witness ones stirring discontent in my wife's heart. However, some of the people are nice and genuine. Too bad if they knew how much I knew about their religion, they will be running from me as fast as they can calling me Satan and putting up their crosses that they do not believe in.

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    I was just the opposite..I always felt there was just something not quite right about the religion even tho I gave it a fighting chance for 15 years. I just saw how strong every one else felt about it and thought I would eventually be that way too. But really , who could believe the things they teach as truth? Common sense tells you it just can't be right..

    I really believe the Bible is past history. I also believe it has been messed up and picked and changed so many times to fit the religion that is using it that you can't trust the majority of it to be accurate..

    As someone pointed out the JW religion started out on a whim so to speak by uneducated men. They studied the Bible and interpreted it to suit their teachings..each religion I feel has done that. I do think that all religions have a little truth to them but I also feel they have a lot of fairy tales to them..in other words..I believe maybe a tenth of what they say. JW's included.

    It is up to you to decide what you can believe in/can accept and what you can't . But at least you owe it to yourself to feel comfortable with what you have..if it be a JW so be it. If not move on..it's your choice and no one elses..and when you make your choice don't let anyone talk you down for it..it's your life and you owe it to yourself to live it the way you see fit for you!

    Best of luck on your journey..

    Snoozy

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus
    Sometimes, I think we go through life seeking the approval of others

    There's a lot in that. Often in the "bible studies" I was tempted to please my jw ladies by giving the "right" answers, and felt guilty when I objected yet again. They were after all, two polite and friendly ladies giving me their time. I was in a low spot then due to family difficulties and it really seemed to matter that I didn't alienate them.

    Yet as my mood lifted over time I realised that they were, deliberately or not, working on the guilt and insecurity. Particularly they invited confidences about things I'd handled badly, sure that their religion would "help".

    Something must be wrong with you to learn the truth and then deny it

    That happened a lot. Whatever objections I raised with their primitive creationism were put down at once with "Darwinists just want to deny Jehovah so they can do as they please" - even when minutes earlier we'd agreed that we believe in the same God! Sheesh!

    Seems crazy but I know that there is a saying that says, "It is not what we think of ourselves but what others think of us that defines our character
    ."

    In the sense of "perception is reality" - perhaps. But still it's only their reality, not yours.

    Hang in there. Retro

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    garyneal,

    :Perhaps some helpful advice. My rant on the JW mindset.

    You don't need any advice. You're spot on. You just need to say much less in print and yet get your point across. It takes work to learn how to do that.

    I've also been verbose myself. It is hard to crystalize one's thoughts and one's rants. Yet one's words become much more powerful when one does that.

    I believe you can put your thoughts into three paragraphs, yet have them still be as powerful as they are now. Are you willing to accept that challenge, Gary? If so, you can be a formidable challenge to WT idiocy.

    Farkel

  • Little Imp
  • trebor
    trebor

    But bashing my character when I made a sincere effort to find the so called one true religion for myself is just a tactic to deflect the conversation from considering the facts to simply considering the source. MIND OFF!!!

    As one of the latest Watchtowers stated, you are just "mentally diseased", if you no longer follow the Society and its teachings. The ad hominem attacks, as long as it is one-sided and done by the Watchtower Society, are perfectly fine. Reverse it, and you're persecuting them unjustly.

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    I was not raised a witness it was for me another attempt to find the answers to life's meaning. What i have learned is to find truth you have to step outside your culture whatever it is and realize you,ve been tainted by it so you have to try for objectivity and another thing is you have to accept the idea that the truth may not be what you would like or what you think is fair. We often look for what we want to be so. So I've become evidence based in my search.

    Right now I don't know what's right I just know what's not right which seems to be about every idea available. The surety of the witnesses is a fantasy and for true believers they are cruisin for a bruisin because one day they find out its a lie and they get upset and angry. your wife sounds like a true believer right now but something will happen and it will come crashing down because they can't maintain this level of deception.

    hang in there and keep your distance.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    That does not bother me as much as the fact that my wife thinks that I turned my back on her religion simply because I want to do whatever I want without remorse. What an absurd statement and what a way to trivialize everything I've done when searching for what really is or is not true.
    I suppose to a Jehovah's Witness, it is not possible to deny the religion for any good reason. Something must be wrong with you to learn the truth and then deny it.

    That's what makes JW's a dangerous mind-control cult. I won't defend Christianity, but most of it is not so deeply entrenched in the Us vs. "The World" mentality. Most of Christianity doesn't assume that people just want to sin if they reject the message (although I have heard it, even on JWN).

    One thing I suggest is to read Steve Hassan's COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL. It has nothing to do with JW's so it will help you see that it's not just that you have blinders on, the JW's really do use deceitful techniques. Steve Hassan's second book, RELEASING THE BONDS: EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES, will further help you to reach your wife without triggering her automatic cult responses.

    I have probably suggested those to you before. Clearly, they are not magic cures. I read them and my wife is still very JW. But they help.

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