I posted this yesterday on a similar forum, but it was deleted despite there being nothing wrong with it. Indeed, the scandal is one that I, myself, suffered.
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Good afternoon from London...
About an hour or so ago, I decided upon a walk around my local area, what with it being a beautiful day outside - far too pleasant to spend it indoors! As well as just wanting to be outside, there was an alarming lack of teabags in the cupboard, so suddenly I had a noble quest to go with all the vitamin D related sunshine/sunburn. A quest so noble and just that it's fit for song, the use of which will be to inspire the future generations that walk upon this fair isle. Epic, no?
I ventured out, and what should happen?! I was snared, friends. Snared! By one of your number.
I was armed with ?1.99
He was armed with the Bible. And really tall he was, too.
I couldn't compete, there was no fighting my way out of this. I was trapped. He began to use his weapon to devasating effect. The Bible was opened, his mouth followed, and, well, I was nearly claimed... it wasn't at all disimilar to this scene from Batman where our hero gets a dart in the arse and is almost bent to a will that's not his own.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHT4aUFUY68
Thankfully I held my own, a battle though it was with words as my only defence, when a syringe filled with blood would have been preferable. In the end, I do believe he found me more than a bit unnerving, which was odd. There was lots of closeness initially, as he was trying to dazzle me enough to throw me in a cage and run off with me, but after five minutes he was positively backing away slowly, which resulted in an eventual and hasty retreat. He wouldn't even pray for me... how distressing is that? Words can't do it justice, so I filled my face with junk food instead.
I would like an apology from your community for having to put up with this bollocks when all I wanted were some bloody teabags!