How do I help my best friend who just told me he is gay?

by justwantohelp 13 Replies latest social relationships

  • ProdigalSon
    ProdigalSon

    I like Kryon's answer....

    QUESTION:Dear Kryon: Regarding homosexuality or transsexuals. WHY are they the way they are and WHY are they not accepted in mainstream society?

    ANSWER: [From the Kryon Office]
    There is often a tremendous amount of information on subjects that are not necessarily part of the on-line magazine Q&A database. Kryon has been channelling for fourteen years, with 9 books covering many, many topics. Homosexuality was one of them from the very beginning. Please see our "Books index page" for subjects contained in the Kryon books: [http://www.kryon.com/direct.html]

    An excerpt from Kryon Book 6, page 306

    Question from the book: Dear Kryon, I am gay, and an enlightened man. I live in an American society that barely tolerates me, and actually has some laws against my way of life. The church I used to belong to cast me out as being evil and anti-God. I don't feel that I am violating some Human ethic. My love is as true as any heterosexual, and I am a light worker. Tell me what I should know.

    Answer from the book: Dear one, less than two generations from now, there will be those who find this book and laugh at the quaintness of this very question. Before I answer, let me ask you and those reading this to examine a phenomenon about Human society and "God."

    Thirty years ago, interracial marriage was considered to be wrong by the laws of God. Now your society finds it common. The spiritual objections around it were either dropped or "rewritten" by those divinely inspired and authorized to do so. Therefore, your actual interpretations of the instructions from God changed with your society's tolerance level--an interesting thing, indeed, how the interpretations of God seem to change regularly to match a changing culture!

    The truth, of course, is that you find yourself in a situation that is known to create a test for you. Right now, in this time, you have agreed to come into your culture with an attribute that may alienate you from friends and religious followers. You have faced fear of rejection and have had to "swim upstream," so to speak, just as an everyday life occurrence. Your contract, therefore, has been set up well, and you are in the middle of it. Additionally, like so many like you, you have a divine interest in yourselves! You feel part of the spiritual family. What a dichotomy indeed, to be judged as evil by those who are the high spiritual leaders--interpreting God for today's culture.

    Now I say this: What is your intent? Is it to walk with love for all those around you and become an enlightened Human Being in this New Age? Is it to forgive those who see you as a spiritual blight on society? Can you have the kind of tolerance for them that they seem not to have for you? Can you overlook the fact that they freely quote their scriptures in order to condemn you, yet they don't seem to have the love tolerance that is the cornerstone of their own message?

    If the answer is yes, then there is nothing else you must do. Your INTENT is everything, and your life will be honored with peace over those who would cause unrest, and tolerance for the intolerable. Your sexual attributes are simply chemistry and setups within your DNA. They are given by agreement as gifts for you to experience in this life. Look on them in this fashion, and be comfortable with that fact that you are a perfect spiritual creation under God--loved beyond measure--just like all humans. But then you know that, don't you?

  • justwantohelp
    justwantohelp

    "What tangles webs we mortals weave..."

    I know that he is in a very precarious situation with regards to his "family" and his "society" (ie: congregational) life. I believe he knows this too, hence his current torment and depression. I have gently suggested that he seek professional help. While I am compassionate, I am NOT a professional psychologist - far from it.

    I am only interested in his well being and that of his family too. I know that his situation has the potential of getting very, very messy based on what little I have learned about the JW's stance on homosexuality.

    I am more than a bit perplexed by him. While I know he does not have a lot of formal education, I know him to be intelligent. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, good and evil. I know him to be a loving father and a good provider for them. I also know him to be hard working and as honest (to me) as the day is long. I cannot, however, understand his inability to be honest with himself and his wife. I do not judge him and never have expressed this duality - with regards to his honesty - to him. I see no positive point in doing so. I feel that he is beating himself up enough as it is, and if that is not enough, I feel confident that the JW's in general will be more than happy to do so. Am I enabling him by not doing so? What is the official JW stand on seeking professional help? Does the congregation or do the church elders have to know?

    The more I learn about JW beliefs, the more I understand why he is so tormented! I am actively seeking a professional for him to see near his home in Mexico. From my perspective I feel that he NEEDS to get some professional help as soon as possible. Having said that, I'm not quite sure how to facilitate this. I can only suggest that he seek help. I cannot force him to do so. I feel that this is a crucial step at this point in his "crisis" but also do not want him to feel added pressure from me or anyone else at the same time.

    I think private counceling would be the best place for him to begin. To be thrown into a (another) group setting could be counterproductive at this moment. Any thoughts on this?

    ProdigalSon: thanks

    nugget: thanks to you too, although I must say, I was already aware. This is why I am trying to help him!

    Again, I truly appreciate all of your comments and input.

  • justwantohelp
    justwantohelp

    I meant to say...

    "What tangled webs we mortals weave..."

  • justwantohelp
    justwantohelp

    I guess I should learn to proof read!

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