I was just told ..... (page 2)

oompa

but did you actually ask your sister? you need to know she truly feels that way...........oompa

FollowedMyHeart

Yes, oopma, we asked her. She didn't say yes or no, but did say it would upset her if I was there and she would cry.

talesin

(((((FollowedMyHeart))))) I followed mine, too, and understand.

wtbts

t

It would be nice if you could video tape a message for her to look at later telling her how proud you are of her, what she means to you, and how important family connections are. It's the little and big milestones in life like graduations, births, weddings, funerals, that create the strong feelings of being bonded together as a family. Tell her that you are disappointed that a religion has come between you, but in your heart she will always be near.

Iconoclast

It would be nice if you could video tape a message for her to look at later telling her how proud you are of her

Agreed! And it would be something she could keep with her for as long as she wants you to be near!

Sam Whiskey

Sorry to hear this FmH... There will be brighter days ahead.

finding my way

I'm sorry. I'm sure this is very painful. I understand because My Mother remarried last year and she went back and forth on whether she wanted me there. She told me to my face she didnt want something painful there on her happy day. It's sick how they don't see how much pain they cause us by saying these sorts of things and they aren't even able to care because they are so brainwashed. I hope for you that you find peace. We can't change them but we can live as honestly and as happily as possible despite our strange upbringing and continuous pains to our consciousness that don't really belong there.

You aren't bad1 Try to remember that they are brainwashed and there's no real foundation for her finding your presence hurtful or destructive of her day.

Scully

That's what you were "told", what your sister said, with your parents' coaching.

Is that how your sister actually feels? I'd find out before scratching the event off your calendar. For all you know, she's being told that you probably won't show up because you don't give a crap about your family anymore.

That's happened to me. JW relatives manipulating everyone around them to create a rift and drive a wedge between them. Don' t let that happen to you and your sister.

FollowedMyHeart

talesin:

wtbts

agreed

journey-on: You have very good suggestions! Thanks.

finding my way: It's comforting to hear from others who have suffered similar pains.

It's sick how they don't see how much pain they cause us by saying these sorts of things and they aren't even able to care because they are so brainwashed.

I was thinking about this yesterday. She doesn't want me there because it would make her cry and upset her. (Which, of course, it IS her day.) However, there is no thought given to how I'll feel being told not to come.

Scully: Yes, that's how she actually feels. Several years ago her school choir sang at the city park. My husband and I were in the back. We didn't even try to talk to her. She said later that she started crying when she saw me there. She's not being coached to say she'd cry and be upset if I went to her graduation. She does know that I would be there because one, she was told I would be going unless she said not to; and two, I went to my other sisters graduation 4 years ago. So there's no coaching going on. At least, not beyond the normal brainwashing, which is heartbreaking enough.

AK MCGRATH

FollowedMyHeart...It's so sad to read a post like yours. My goes out to you.

Do you think it may be possible if you were to sit down after everyone else? Would her back be toward you, so neither she nor your family would see you? Surely there will be other people there. Could you blend in the crowd so as not to be noticed?

Afterwards, it would be up to you to see her face-to-face. Gee, I'm not your sis, but I would rather know you were there and then left, than to not show up at all. Like I said, I'm not your sis, tho.

I know you are trying to respect her wishes, yet convey your love and happiness at this milestone. I wish the best for the both of you

I was just told .....

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