The Rapture is Saturday- Craigslist advertisements seeking help!

by moshe 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • moshe
    moshe

    Post-Rapture Supplies Needed (Cape Cod)


    Date: 2011-05-19, 2:46AM EDT


    The Rapture is this Saturday, and I will be one of the many left behind. When you go to heaven, you can't take your possessions with you. But those of us here - especially infants and children - will need what you no longer will.

    I am offering free pick-up of supplies, real estate deeds, vehicles and animals, who will be given good homes and medical care. Your money will help those of us who are non-believers, but still compassionate, care for one another. We will need neonatal units for the post-Rapture care of infants born after the Rapture (this is still possible because conception is possible after Saturday.) We expect natural disasters and will need generators, fuel, food, shelter, etc. Many homes will be destroyed. We will need to shelter children and pets. We will need transportation. Please have deeds ready - keys are not enough. Man will still try to enforce earthly laws. By signing your assets over, you assure that truly evil people won't be able to take that shelter away.

    The scope of supplies and resources needed is too large to list here. But, basically, you can't take anything with you. And by giving these possessions away, you will accomplish a lot. First of all, you prove your faith. If you hold on to your possessions because you aren't completely sure the Rapture is, indeed, about to occur, you will be taken as a non-believer. You will demonstrate compassion for your fellow man - especially children who, through no fault of their own, are non-believers. Remember: though some of us will not be accepted into Heaven, we are still decent people. We have just been misguided. Please help reduce our suffering. I know I will remain here, because I have not been a good Christian. However, I am generous, and I will share your resources because I refuse to watch anyone suffer. I do not expect to live in luxury. I expect to live in pain. You can reduce that pain. God will recognize your selflessness. And He can decide if he wants us to use your gifts for nutrition, medical care, shelter, etc. You have nothing to lose.

    Please email for appointments. Slots are limited and end at 5:00 p.m. Saturday so that I may say my good-byes to those of my loved ones who will join God.

    God bless you for your generosity. By putting your affairs in order, you will reduce looting, violence and the suffering of innocent children.

    -------------

    Hey, I could use a quitclaim deed or two myself.

  • moshe
    moshe

    THE RAPTURE IS COMING, GIVE ME YOUR UNWANTED ELECTRONICS! (nassau)


    Date: 2011-05-19, 1:26PM EDT


    we all know the rapture is coming on saturday, and so we won't be needing any of our wordly possesions. i figured though, that it might be beneficial to stockpile them all in one place, just in case. being the humble person i am, i've decided i will provide permanent safe keeping for all valuable items.

    i will pickup the items and whatever location is most convenient for you!

    thanks and good luck!

    ------------------------

    I would like one of those new Xoom tablets or an Ipad2.

  • moshe
    moshe

    Rapture on May 21st? I would like your stuff - $1 (Chandler)
    Date: 2011-05-19, 1:23PM MST

    Are you attending the rapture on May 21st, 2011? I expect to be left behind when it happens, so if you aren't going to need your worldly possessions; be they money, cars, canned food, durable goods, etc; I would gladly take them off of your hands. Serious responses only, please. And remember, time is short! You can contact me by replying to this ad. I live in Chandler, But I'm willing to travel for said goods.

  • moshe
    moshe

    Taking Rapture Donations - $1 (Chicago)


    Date: 2011-05-19, 12:01PM CDT


    Are you looking to get rid of some things before the rapture tomorrow? If so, I will be happy to take any material items off your hands. I prefer money but am willing to consider other goods.

  • moshe
    moshe

    to the guy looking for Rapture instruments - $1 (heaven on earth)


    Date: 2011-05-19, 1:44PM CDT
    -


    Hey dude, the Rapture is this Saturday but the world is not ending until October. So all of us heathens will have 5 months to pillage all the churches of their musical equipment. Save your gas.

    -----------------------------

  • DagothUr
    DagothUr

    We want goodies too! We are too bad to go to Heavens! We are apostates.

  • moshe
    moshe

    I expected more advs- not that many- they are getting flagged and removed - I saw someone was offering to take care of pets left behind- just give them a $100 to reserve a spot-

  • undercover
  • titch
    titch

    Hey, Moshe! From one of my previous posts here, I understand that you and I are both Ham Radio operators. This coming Saturday, will we put to good use our communications skills on the air? That would be a good day to do just that!

    Titch.

  • moshe
    moshe
    This coming Saturday, will we put to good use our communications skills on the air?

    For a second you had me worried- Field Day is Next month! - but this weekend is the Dayton Hamfest!

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