Is there no hope? (daughter getting baptized)

by camicia 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • camicia
    camicia

    Hello everyone,

    I'm really distraught about the fact my 23 year old daughter is ready to abandon a potential career in writing where her talent lies, and become a Jehovah's Witness. I banned the study being held in our home, but it only hurt my relationship with my daughter, who screamed at me "I pay to live here and I'm not hiding, you're sabotaging my relationship with God!" so I gave in.


    My friends are trying to console me with "It's not a murderous gang, it's a group of good people." but I have read the bible, studied countless religions (and come to the conclusion there are none that have God's full backing.) studied with Jehovah's Witnesses, attended meetings, and conventions, and my internet research of recent times confirmed my suspicions. It's just another false religion, and worse, it's a cult. And my daughter will be walking the street spreading a doctrine that doesn't originate with Jesus Christ, and i believe the witnesses are actually anti-christian because JESUS CHRIST IS THE WAY, AND THE TRUTH and the witnesses hardly give him any recognition, all i ever hear is "Jehovah God." Jesus Christ said "Come to me." and they teach "Come to the Watchtower." I also believe the memorial is a load of rubbish and it's DENYING christ. I worry that she doesn't fully comprehend that spreading alternate gospel is what makes her bloodguilty, not "failing to go door to door when you know the truth through the faithful and discreet slave." which is the rubbish i heard coming from her teacher during her lesson the other day.


    I KNOW she doesn't 100% believe is it "the truth." I can't even type that without feeling nauseous. I'm skeptical of anything claiming to be honest, in the first place, so my daughter turns it against me, calling me a cynic, and thanks to her teacher, a highly esteemed pioneer in the congregation, I am now "Satan." and the lesson in my home is hindered by demonic influence. My daughter believes it! Her teacher also is eager to get into my daughter's bedroom, telling her that something in there is the reason she isn't progressing faster. My daughter has a stunning portrait of Marilyn Monroe i bought her and she thinks THAT is Satan because of what Marilyn Monroe represented! I'm just speechless. The brainwashing has well and truly begun. My daughter is already not mentally well due to years of depression and anxiety, so something like this can only make her worse.


    She wanted me to attend meetings to show me that it was a "good and beneficial thing." So, I went along and loathed every second and slept through most of them. But i went in the hope of having a discussion with her later about the ridiculous things that were being said on the platform. Each and every time she'd just report it back to her teacher who has an answer for everything. My daughter is extremely intelligent but won't stand up for herself, either. Worse, she feels like her teacher is truly blessed because this girl said to reiterate that the internet is demonic "I've never had apostate influence because i was brought up in the truth and always protected by the holy spirit." FOR THE LOVE OF.......!!!!!!!!

    She even spent time reading on this website and the next discussion we had, she told me she doesn't believe in it anymore. Alleluia!!! She said she realized it when she was told to write a letter to the Catholic Church where she was baptized and couldn't write "I've found the truth with Jehovah's Witnesses." During her next 'bible' study, she brings up some awkward questions that her teacher pretty much ridiculed her for asking and "Stop reading that internet!" at which my daughter laughs and agrees with her. She even went to an elder who went on and on about how Satan uses everything to attack, etc. I have to wonder what the elder really thinks of her questioning, since asking such questions once baptized is at the risk of disfellowshipping!


    Next, she agrees with me that disfellowshipping is cruel and unusual, and for that reason she is ready to distance herself from the JW's and stop studying. Come the meeting night, she's changed her mind again. This time she is convinced by a brother in good standing that "these people exist to make your life hard, they never tell the full story, and there's no excuse for sour grapes because they knew before they were baptized what would get them disfellowshipped." She agreed with HIM after that.

    But because he apparently just came to her out of the blue to say this stuff, she came home telling me NOW she wants to leave because of the gossip. She thinks her teacher has spoken to him behind her back about her lack of progress. When she confronted her teacher, the teacher said "We don't gossip." HA! So this guy is a mind reader, clearly, and my daughter is satisfied with her lies.


    She has abandoned her "worldly" friends so she's got nothing now but JW's which frightens me. She told her teacher this who can now use it against her and does, telling her "you're not being rejected, we just can't hang out with you yet." More incentive for her to get baptized and be 'blessed' with these conditional friendship. They tell her how well she's doing in it and even she says "I hate how my spirituality and relationship with God is almost being measured." She really is a GOOD girl, the fact that she's still considered bad association is a joke. I've tried telling her what it'll be like once she's baptized if she thinks her spirituality is being measured NOW, but there's no getting through to her.


    I know she isn't 100% about this, but WHAT KEEPS HER GOING BACK! I'm just at wits end. When i studied with JWs 20 years ago, i wasn't aware of the hall politics and the gossiping, so i guess my question is: if my daughter is questioning things during her lesson, and enquiring about TRUTHS that i've directed her to, then going down to the hall and these people are talking to her, are they giving her everything to fight me back with? Is that how it works with studies? I might be wrong, but is this marking?


    I've resigned myself to the hideous fact that the more time she spends with them, and they encourage her not to listen to me, the baptism is inevitable. Thank you for reading, i know it's long and complicated, but i really needed to vent and all input is so greatly appreciated.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    "WHAT KEEPS HER GOING BACK!"

    Let me make a wild, uninformed guess: A dude?

    om

  • camicia
    camicia

    I might have thought that too but i've been with her to the hall and there's no dude she's particularly interested in being around, or speaking to. We would get there, and go straight to our seats where we'd talk amongst ourselves and i never saw her look at anyone and we'd leave right afterwards when all the young dudes hang around the hall to talk. I've seen my daughter in action, you can't drag her away from someone she fancies.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Oh well. Strike one. Like I said, it was uninformed.

    om

  • transhuman68
    transhuman68

    Maybe the attraction is that the Witnesses seem to have all the answers? Sometimes people want certainty in their lives, and want to be told how to do everything...

    Some of the Watchtower flip-flops are quoted here, if it helps... http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/

  • talesin
    talesin

    welcome, camicia

    Is she planning this for the upcoming convention? Can you get her to wait?

    There's lots of folk here who can help you figure out how to get through to her, with lots more skill than I. Hang in there!

    talesin

  • Retrovirus
    Retrovirus

    Welcome, Camicia!

    I'm a non-jw with some friends and family in, and I remember how worried my children were that I even had discussions with jws.

    It sounds like your daughter is attracted to the wt for emotional reasons (hell, perhaps everyone who opts in is). In this case opposition would be futile, even counter productive, and I know they teach new studies to be prepared for "satanic attacks" on their progress.

    Perhaps you could just ask her questions, as if you were really trying to understand the religion. If you look at Black Sheep's posts, he has a lot of good ones. JWfacts is also very helpful.

    Try to engage her with discussions and activities she enjoys, and will not have as a baptised jw. As a mother myself, I know you will work to keep close to her, and will be there for her even if she does take the dip. It sounds as if the has some doubts but is willing to ignore them, and this may not always be the case.

    She is lucky that baptised or not, you are there for her, whatever she believes. This cannot be said for her jw "friends". I hope she realises this soon.

    Good luck and keep in touch! Retro

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    Is there someone else that could possible pursuade her to slow down? After all, wouldn't "Jehovah" want her to "count the cost" and "make sure of all the important things?" Being her mom, and she is at that age where she might want to assert her own belief system, see if you can find someone else she looks up to and trusts to tell her to take it easy. She seems easily influenced. Hang in there, it sounds very stressful. Either way, you will always be there for her.

  • Kahlua
    Kahlua

    In case you haven't seen it, Leonard Miller (FatFreek on here) did a manuscript of the Flip Flops some time ago.

    It is one of my favorites. Maybe you can print it out and leave it out for her to see.

    http://users.oeccwildblue.com/millerlr/PivotalYear1988SodomGomorrah.pdf

    It was done before this last Flip concerning the Generation change. Maybe it will give her more to think about.

  • WhatWasIThinking
    WhatWasIThinking

    Your daughter is experiencing the opposite of what I experienced. I'll give you my summary. I had a lot of things happen in my mid-late 20's, started a study and was immediately love bombed. Always invited out to dinner, movies, picnics, game nights, etc. I was baptized six months after starting my study. The invitations started decreasing after my baptism until it got to the point where I could not get anyone to do anything with me. I even had people cancel service plans so they could go do something else (something fun that I wasn't invited to) and then was counseled for going out in service on my own.

    They say that the things you do before learning the truth are forgiven but they still hold them against you. My tattoos stumbled others. The fact that I listened to metal (devil music) and punk (anti-authority) before I studied were bad. My love of horror movies, "thrill-seeking" (motorcycles, scuba diving), and violence (guns, grappling, muay thai) were all bad qualities. It didn't matter that I stopped all those things once I started studying, that I got rid of all my R-rated DVDs, all of my PG and PG-13 rated DVDs that had "spiritism," a bunch of books, all of my fighting gear, and most of my CDs and MP3s. I shaved my goatee, removed my piercings, changed my hair but it didn't matter.

    Your daughter might think that things will change when she gets baptized but they may not and it may cause her emotional health issues to get worse. I remember hearing counsel from the platform to invite honest-hearted studies to do things with the congregation, to surround them with good association, so I don't understand why the person studying with her told her otherwise unless things have changed since I left.

    I was in for about four years and getting out was the best thing I ever did. I don't really know what to tell you to do because she is being brainwashed and you don't want to push her towards them by saying the wrong thing. What you can do is be there for her no matter what she decides. If she gets baptized and decides to get out she is going to need your support because she will instantly lose contact with all of her JW "friends." Hopefully she will wake up and see them for the false prophets and conditional friends that they are. And her being drawn in is not a sign of lack of intelligence. I had a college degree and a good job when I started studying, I was just at a low point and they know to take advantage of that (they encourage it by saying that after tragedy a person's heart condition might be better to accept "the truth.").

    Good luck with your daughter, I truly hope she realizes it's a mistake before she gets baptized, or at least figures it out before she has spent too many years in.

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