Oh, one other thing. If you can find a copy, you might want to get him the book "Blameless in Abaddon" by James Morrow. It's about a priest who quite literally puts God on trial for crimes against humanity. I read it multiple times during that period, and in a strange way it was cathartic - it helped me understand and put into terms why I was angry and, by understanding that anger, I was able to start getting a handle on it.
WT scars that run deep
by man in black 15 Replies latest jw experiences
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Band on the Run
The depth of my fury scares me! I left, ran for life, decades ago. My life has been full and successful. I feel it was child abuse. Also, the control was strong, I feel I must summon immense emotion to combat its affects. I define myself as someone born in. Other terms could equally apply. Politcal radical. Rock music fan. Beatle maniac. Who fan.
My childhood was very brutal and I view the Witnesses as part of that brutality. It was child abuse. Some days I suddenly realize how constricted my life was in the Witnesses and burst with gratitude that I left. The anger is palpable.
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d
I have also struggled with feelings of anger but I remeber that anger is only counterproductive.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha
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blondie
Find a good counselor or therapist.
I spent 45 years of my life in the WTS, grew up with a pedophile father and alcoholic mother. I thought I would never let it go. But appointment by appointment and applying what I learned I have healed where discussion of my past does not give me a stomach ache.
To get rid of something bad, I found it necessary to replace it with something good, and to cherish the good things I already have.
Love, Blondie
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talesin
I've been through it, MIB, and am now out the other side.
Lots of good comments here, and I'll just mention a couple of things that helped me.
1. Being heard! It's hard for you, I know, but listen, and mirror back "I hear you son, and understand how angry you are. It's okay".
2. Suggest to him that instead of arguing with folks online, he take a look at religions of the world, and what they believe,,, you know, just educate himself a bit. "Son, do you feel you are really convincing these people of anything, or does it just make you more frustrated? Maybe you would find doing some research more helpful."
As JWs, we know how to study --- the library has lots of materials on other cults as well, such as Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints, Children of God, and many others,,, I found it comforting to know that JWS aren't the only ones.
3. Therapy does help.
4. For you,,, there are the five stages of grief,,, anger is one,,, denial, bargaining,,, can't remember the other,,, but the last is acceptance. He is grieving and the anger is natural --- grieving for his childhood, is a BIG deal
I send you healing energy, MIB, and hope that he heals sooner than later. You and your wife have each other, at least, to talk to,,, and I am really happy to see a parent helping their child (yes, he's 24, but your child 4-ever) get through this. NO ONE can help him like you,,, now giving him TRUE unconditional love. Good on ya!
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ranmac
The best way to help your son is to show you care and be there as a source of emotional release. Even tho it may be unpleasant, just being a non jugdmental ear for him to vent to can help more than you might know.
My parents are still stuck in the religious mind-f--k, but they will not stop me from expressing my disgust and anger for the way i was raised and the warped crap I was exposed to. Even tho we dont agree in the end it still helps.