Sorry, Mr. Camping -- Watchtower already owns the New Light phrase

by FatFreek 2005 11 Replies latest social humour

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    The United States Patent and Trademark Office (PTO) announced today their rejection of the phrase, New Light, by the infamous and self-appointed seer and prophet, Harold Camping. Camping has drawn severe criticism from opposers when he unsucessfully foretold that May 21 would be the date when the Rapture would occur. He has since altered his forecast and now says that October 21, 2011, is his finalized prediction. He says that the phrase New Light would afford him latitude from his followers who appear to be drifting from his fold.

    In response the PTO further said that Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania has owned that phrase since 1881 when they cleverly created a scheme to divert attention from the first of their many failed predictions. On each of these failures, follow-up writings consistently point to their copywrited phrase New Light which seems to appease their flock of followers like a pacifier to a newly-weaned infant.

    While the New Light phrase has been used extensively each time some doctrinal teaching gets altered, it has never been utilized as frequently as with their doctrine of resurrection of the ancient Sodomites. Watchtower writings have held their latest position -- "No, they will not be resurrected" -- since 1989. However, in the 110 years prior to 1989 they have published 6 different positions since 1879 -- each diametrically opposing (yes, no, yes, no, yes, no) the prior one.

    Ironically, C.T. Russell, the first publisher of Watchtower (then known as Zion's Watch Tower and Herald of Christ's Presence", and the originator of the New Light phrase had a different intent for use of his newly copywrited phrase. "A new view of truth never can contradict a former truth. 'New light' never extinguishes older 'light,' but adds to it. ... So is it with the light of truth; the true increase is by adding to, not by substituting one for another." ZION'S Watch Tower AND HERALD OF CHRIST'S PRESENCE, February, 1881.

    Modern critics suggest that if Russell could see how the New Light phrase is being used today by his authoritarian replacements, he would roll over thereby toppling his pyramid-shaped memorial.

    Len

  • hoser
    hoser

    Is this in a newspaper somewhere?

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    Good one, Len.

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Sorry -- and thanks for the compliment, Hoser. It's in the Jokes and Humor section. Thanks, Mad Sweeney.

    Len

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    hoser, its a joke... sort of like an onion article.

  • Knowsnothing
    Knowsnothing

    Ha! Awsome post! Had a good laugh

  • Ding
    Ding

    What about "present truth"?

  • garyneal
    garyneal
    Watchtower writings have held their latest position -- "No, they will not be resurrected" -- since 1989. However, in the 110 years prior to 1989 they have published 6 different positions since 1879 -- each diametrically opposing (yes, no, yes, no, yes, no) the prior one.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Sdh239AII

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    Hilarious, good job FatFreek.

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Hi Garyneal,

    Hey, what a video. I counted 8 different positions in that excellent spoof, writing down those sources. Will check for myself later.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Len

    ps: His "Thank you vurrrrry much" sounded a bit like an exaggerated Elvis Presley. Hmmm ... I wonder if he's now resurrected and working for us in a new role?

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