Just bookmarking for the time being, because this is one of the most sinister and horrible aspects of JW's, to me. Psyvchologically very destructive, as well as coercive.
Need your shunning experiences, written or on video
by jwfacts 18 Replies latest jw experiences
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Broken Promises
jwfacts - I'll think about it. He's dead now but I'm reluctant to bring up bad memories. But I do want to support your website so I'll have a think about it.
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StephanieH
I left about six months ago from the JW's even though I had no where to go I had to get out. I was so ashamed of living a lie and most of all lying to my family. My oldest sister who for the most part raised me has been the one who I've found being shunned by hurts the most. When I left I had to stay in a shelter for a short while and since I am from a small town I pretty much had to stay at the shelter until I found means to move.
At first I lied to my sister because I wasn't sure how to tell her where I was or that I was not only leaving our fathers home but also their religion. My sister is 31, she married in 'the truth' and has three beautiful children. Her kids have been my world since the day I found out she was going to have her first son. He is almost 8 now, his younger brother is about to be 4, and their baby sister is 2. My sister, once I finally told her that I was leaving the JW's, lost it as I explained to her why I was leaving. It came down to one thing in her eyes, not all of the wrong that we had both watched go on for years within several congregations, she simply could not get over the fact that I finally came out and told her that I was gay.
She went on the typical JW rant on how wrong homosexuality is and how I should simply erase those thoughts and marry a nice brother. Since then I have only heard from her twice. I send her a text message and call about once a month trying to get word. She has only responded twice in six months! It is always short and sweet. I simply asked how they were holding up in some recent bad weather, once when we had snow in Feb. the other was a few weeks ago when I found that a tornado hit near by where she lives. She simply replied that they were fine and that they had passed the mini carnival in town and the kids asked about me (this broke my heart because it was the first she'd mentioned the kids since I left and I always took them to the carnival.) In tears I texted her back then called both her cell and home phone left her messages all evening until I cried myself to sleep.
We had always been so close and her kids were like my own. My heart is broken. Being told how horrible of a person I am, how worthless, and that I could no longer see or speak with my nephews and neice has been the biggest of all daggers in my heart. The one I looked up to my whole life now looks at me in shame, she simply turned her back and took her kids (my world) away with her.
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scooterspank
I was confronted by my sister and my brother and told that as long as I continued my worldy behavior they would have nothing to do with me (I faded, was not df'd). I had confided in my sister months earlier that I had been molested by my brother, yet they confronted me together with this decision. WTF!!!
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jwfacts
Thanks Stephanie, it really is sad that family ties seem to be irrelevant.
Scooterspank, what hypocrites, sorry to hear how it has turned out for you.
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Black Sheep
My Dad poking fun at another religion for shunning their son because he didn't believe their church doctrines ........
............. Then denying that his own church encourages the same behaviour, even when told that their policy is published on their own official website.
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Tuesday
OK so I have three usernames on youtube that I know have shunning experiences on there
VanCoffeeChick has a shunning experience
ForAGoodReason has a couple videos up on the subject
CSTheApostate has probably the best one about sending his mother a letter that she returned unopened.
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satinka
Hi jwfacts,
I visited your website and sent you an email. I think this page is a great idea and I will help in any way possible!
Cheers,
satinka
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White Dove
Just got a letter from my grandmother, who raised me like her own daughter.
In it, she said that she heard that I disassociated and that's the same as df'ing.
If that's true, it would severely change our relationship.
She went on and on about grandfather looking for me and being very sad on not finding me there when he is resurrected.
I had e-mailed my dad on numerous occasions about how dissatisfied and disappointed I was in the religion.
He turned around and blabbed to the family.
I had Egg call her and BS her so she can die thinking the best of me.
It's not nice to hurt old people like that, so the BS'ing was necessary.
Besides, I'm not ready to come out of the aposta-closet, just yet, and value highly my privacy and right to live my life my way.
Emotional blackmail and holding families hostage for payment of servitude from wayward family members is just horrid.