Our CO used ping pong balls and dry beans. Lols @ "grabbing a banana to satisfy a fleshly desire". Anyone else see the perversion in this?
The one I heard years ago that always made me call "bullshit" was this:
The pony express needed to hire a man to drive a horse and wagon the last 10 mile stretch on a delivery route to the pony express mail building. This building is located at the end of a road that comes down a hill and across a wooden bridge with no sides. (the setting of this nonsense tale is set in the late 1800's). The interview guy interviews 3 men. He asks the first man "why should we hire you?" 1st man says "see that hill? I can ride a horse and buggy down the hill full-speed and come across the bridge with the edge of my wagon wheels right at the edge of the bridge without wrecking the buggy". The interview guy says "wow, i'll keep you in mind". 2nd guy says "see that hill? I can drive my buggy full-speed down the hill and across the bridge with my wagon wheels half way off the bridge without wrecking the buggy". Interview guy says "holy wow, you have to be the best man for the job." 3rd guy says "see that hill? I can operate my buggy at a safe speed and I keep it in the middle of the bridge". 3rd guy gets the job.
Its some stupid story about how we need to stay in the middle of the cong. and not try to get on the edge of serving god. Come on. Its been a long time since I'd heard it, but its still the dumbest story i've ever heard.