I was willing at sixteen to get a court order so I could finish my education in a secret foster home at a secret school. Since my large city only had two college prep schools, I would not have been safe. My mother acquiesced in what he did. She cried and was torn apart. B/c of the flag salute, she was expelled from school at 14. The hurt was so keen. She dreamed of being a teacher or fashion designer.
I am certain she sowed the seeds where I become a full blown Ivy League NY type. He was perverted. There was no overt sexual abuse but sexual tension fogged the air. He wanted me to go bag groceries so he could watch me. I barely had any friends, never looked at boys b/c I was sure I was ugly and repulsive, could not dance b/c I was so afraid. I did everything for him to like me and stop abusing me. It never worked.
An outside agency could not control him. Indeed, there was plan in effect so he could not rape me. They wanted to speak to clergy to speak to him. My mom explained the religion was his validation that he was correct. Calling in brothers would make things infinitely worse. They all shook their heads about such a religion.
I made an appt to see the principal. It was so embarassing. Everyone else's parents were attending college nights. I interviewed at Radcliffe. The way a doting mom spoke to her daughter left me a tear bucket. I could not stop crying hysterically. I get the same reaction when I see mom;s purchasing their daughter's first makeup things. My father died. He locked me in the bathroom, wedging himself against the door. He told me I was the reason he was dying and I must watch him die. This is not a great way to start adult llife.
My mother was openly supportive once he died. We stopped all Witness endeavors. I was accepted at several Ivy League colleges. The adjustment was so hard but, ultimately, worth it.
B/c of illness, I am taking some courses now at community college. Even way back in the early 1970s, older students were respected and present in my classes. They have a dignity no kid student can have. It is never too late. Many wealth couples move back to Manhattan in retirement. There are myriad colleges offering programs. They all hang out together as senior students. Retirement is the perfect time to pursue a passion. Illness sidetracked me but until I die, I am living life. Most schools also give considerable credits for life experience. My mom just took the GED and was awarded enough credits from her score to start one and half years into a degree.
Education is living well which is the ultimate F.....You to the Witnesses.
