letter to the elders about wanting to fade

by focariedu21 22 Replies latest jw experiences

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  sizemik

  focariedu21 . . . I assume along with the shoddy treatment you have received, that you have worked out the WTS . . . that it is a fraud . . . a cult. Your anger is understandable and most, if not all of us, have felt or are feeling that same anger. But leavingwt is telling the truth on this point . . . they don't give a rat's arse about you, your family, or your anger. They will only inflict more pain on you if you continue to have dealings with them. As the other posters have said . . . difficult as it may be . . . you need to move on now. Looking for some sort of satisfaction will not bear fruit and will only bring you more frustration and trouble . . . ignore them.

  THEY are deluded and trapped in a religious cult with false hopes . . . YOU are free. THEY are the losers . . . YOU are the winner.
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  Quandry

  Sorry to tell you this, but you will not guilt them into helping you. You will only receive more frustration and hurt by trying to fight against things they say about you.You will end up sick yourself, and they couldn't care less.

  Someone on this forum said, and I agree, the best way to get back at the witnesses is to live a full and happy life without them.

  Look at the upside-no one will look to you anymore to sit with their ill family members for any reason. You must concentrate on your own family and making them happy.

  I speak from experience. We wrote letter after letter to the GB after abysmal treatment to our family, after my husband was an elder for twenty years, our home was the place for book studies, meals, etc, we did yard work, cleaning the KH and assembly hall, let people use our car, picked up people for meetings....I get worn out just thinking about it.

  My family is "out" now, developing our own lives. My daughter is almost through with college. Please don't let them take ONE MORE MINUTE of your life,and that of your precious family.
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  Chariklo

  They are spreading rumors about my family in the community

  Just remember that they're not really spreading rumours about you in the community...or I shouldn't think they are. (If they are you have recourse to the law of the land.) They're almost certainly spreading rumours among the JW community, and that's a very different thing. The JW community is in a massive minority, that they don't see when they're within it.

  They just don't matter! Who are they? They're just a load of brainwashed people following a self-serving group called the WTS, who may, or may not, be suffering from a God delusion.

  So don't give them any power over you by letting it worry you. You're fine, you're free, and you can just walk away and tell them what to do with themseves.

  Oh, and don't answer the brother-in-law.
• 

  LongHairGal

  focariedu21:

  The whole point of fading is that the person wants to be inconspicuous. Why warn them? You are very sincere but the religion does not care about you. It is a machine with no feelings. You spilling your guts to them is like casting pearls before swine as far as I am concerned.

  So, just exit and live your life and not look back. All the best to your family.
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  NewChapter

  Let's be very clear on this. We have by no means disregarded or rejected your letter, on the contrary we have given you the opportunity to meet and discuss these matters with us. You have made it very clear you do not want to meet. The opportunity to and invitation to meet is still open if you change your mind. This will be the last email I will be sending you and I will not be accepting any further correspondence please address it in writing to either the watchtower bible & tract society or directly to the congregation

  Now look at this. You want to handle this on your own terms, that ABSOLUTELY will not happen. The consider themselves still very much in control. They have laid down the rules for you, and they won't play by any other. Can you come to understand that you won't win this one? Do you really need to care? Your anger is justified, but you won't find resolution with this bunch. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you actually get to have a life now, and they do not. You are walking away from prison, and the inmates still try to tell you what to do. Embrace your freedom. See a therapist or take yoga or learn to box to deal with the anger. Cuz you aren't going to get closure with these people.

  I'm glad you've seen the truth in this mess. I hope your days to come are much happier. I'm sorry for all of your losses and frustration. Still, I know the future will be much sweeter now.

  NC
• 

  punkofnice

  It's always a waste of time trying to reason or get justice from the WTB$ or any of it's dangling appendages such as a congregation!

  
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  focariedu21

  You Guys are simply the best I kick myself when I think Of all the years I wasted with Morons and Hypocrites in my congregation as they haven't changed one bit. You Guys are like family to me now as you're the only friends I have. Your suggestions and feedback is life saving to me I really appreciate it and hold it close to my heart. I am really "pissed" at the elders and most in my congo, especially my sibblings and now my dickhead Brother-in-law who doesn't give a crap about his own family let alone his own sister. I feel pain every day about the way they treated mum and now dad placing him in a nursing home and I cant do anything about it as they have power of attorney, I just feel compelled to do something but don't know what.

  I wish I knew you guys before I truly feel like your my true brothers and sisters...amen to you guys.
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  focariedu21

  just want to thank you guys
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  Quandry

  Just spend time with your dad. This is the time to ask any family questions. Remember that time we did....why did we go here? What were your grandparents like? Where did they live before this town? etc.

  Try to get him out and go for rides in the countryside.

  Channel your pain and anger into something good. Volunteer in your community, maybe. Or just take your family on a nice trip. Get your mind off of the JWs.
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  sinis

  I feel pain every day about the way they treated mum and now dad placing him in a nursing home and I cant do anything about it as they have power of attorney,

  I assume we are talking about your wifes mom and father? Are they the ones with POA? If so, and your wifes mother is still all there mentally, you can do a one up, and have new papers drawn up with your WIFE as sole POA. Perhaps, get her father to do likewise. I would insist to her mother and father that your attention to them is more so than her siblings and convince her parents to allow you guys to make their decisions. Is this something you think is do-able?