Friends of ours in Brisbane were shocked and dismayed when we stopped going to meetings. No one here in Melbourne seemed to show any interest. A friend met one of the closest friends of my wife's at a DC in Brisbane and gave her the bad news ... and she cried! Did that "close friend" pick up the phone and ring my wife to ask her what's going on, do we have any problems? Weirdly, we've never heard a word from her. Not a thing. Another of my wife's close friends (her bridesmaid at our wedding) would also obviously been told ... and again, not a word.
When You Left The "Truth" Were People Shocked?
by minimus 40 Replies latest jw friends
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Velour
ah yes =) I hope I did shock people. I wouldn't know. After I left, I never returned and I never got a phone call from anyone. I've moved across the country so no visits either.
I was a pioneer for 5 of the 10 years I was in. Everyone thought being a young, pretty, smart, and ''spiritual'' thing I would marry some hot shot JW MS or Elder (and one sister even tried to set me up with a CO) and be the model JW woman. I gave parts at assemblies and conventions. I had bible studies get baptized (palm<-->face) and I worked in unassigned territory. My immediate family noticed over the course of 2 years my activity slowed. They tried to help but I don't think they realized how far away from ''the truth'' I was. Because of moving congregations other JWs had no idea that I was slipping away. My fading process lasted only a few months.
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Honesty
It is not the truth.
That is why I left.
And yes, the announcement that I had disassociated myself shocked a few.
My ex (our divorce had been finalised about 6 weeks earlier) received a lot of phone calls from mutual JW acquaintances asking her why.
She was too ashamed to tell them that I had gone to Jesus and had rejected her false prophet Goverrning Body.
They think I left to pursue an immoral lifestyle.
Idiots, the whole lot of them.
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Quendi
In my particular case, being disfellowshipped probably hurt some people in the different congregations I associated with and was known in Boulder, Colorado. Even though I never served as an elder or ministerial servant--bodies of elders tended to think of me as too "independent minded"--I had a very good reputation. I had pioneered for a couple of years in our very challenging territory. But I was also known as "The Answer Man" around here. I was very good at answering most questions the friends would ask. Not just religious ones, but questions on just about any topic. I am a polymath, and I freely shared what I knew with just about anybody. So the friends liked and trusted me, for the most part.
Several Witnesses still communicate with me. Some of them are "fading", but one is a ministerial servant in his congregation in Southern California. We talk to each other several times a week. Bless him, he is still trying to get me to drop my hard line against the organization and come back. "We really need you! The local brothers need you, too! Come back!" he pleads with me. But there is no way I will ever darken the doorstep of a Kingdom Hall again.
As for the close friends I had in the organization, most have never made any effort to contact me. I think some of them really do miss me, but many couldn't care less. However, I think others are constrained by fear. They think they are putting their prospects for everlasting life in dire peril if they so much as utter a syllable in my direction. And there are those who don't want to face the wrath of family members for violating WTS rules and possibly being disfellowshipped themselves.
The damage, pain, and harm this organization has done to families and friends is one of its greatest crimes. It preaches how it instills real Christian love among its followers, but we all know that isn't the case. What it gives its followers instead is an unhealthy view of real humanity. People are afraid of their own shadows. The Bible says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love throws fear outside, because fear exercises a restraint. Indeed, he that is under fear has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18) Those words say everything a person has to know about the cult the WTS has built and the control it exercises over its members. I'm glad to have got out alive.
Quendi
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tenyearsafter
When I left (got DF'ed) it shocked people...not because I was gone, but because I left my wife (who is still a strong JW). I was the bad guy, so no one has ever followed up with me, including the elders on my JC. The only ones that ever even mention coming back are my mother and brother, but I think they know that isn't going to happen...not after 16 years out.
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Free!!
YES!! i was a pioneer, serving in a foreign language cong and commented in EVERY meeting until the last day... i was "a pillar and example in the cong" (their words not mine)... when i stopped going people thought i had been tricked by a wordly guy... or (since i left right after a surgery) that one of mine non-JWs family members had authorized a blood transfusion (i am anemic from birth) while i was uncoscious and i was feeling dirty and not worthy " (their words not mine)... i moved to another city but they tracked me down... and i still get the ocassional note at my door step asking me when am i going back... that would be NEVER
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White Dove
No, they were relieved I was gone.
No one wanted a member with a special need there.
Wouldn't you know it, though, right after I left there were a whole slew of articles in the mags about deaf congregations, groups, and householders and how to reach out to them.
Sorry, to little too late.
Good thing I was pushed out when I was.
I'm glad for the abusive experience.
That sealed the deal for me.
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freeflyingfaerie
After that last little judicial meeting, one elder said 'many will be surprised, some will be shocked, some will be in tears when they hear of your disfellowshipping'. It was obvious that I wasnt atttending any meetings or anything for months, or answering phone calls so it shouldn't have been a total shock to those close to me. But once upon a time, I was a devoted 'sister', coming from a family of super-devout J-dubyas. It blows peopl'es minds when you become different than what their image of you once was. Toward the end, people close around could see me slipping
Pretty often I run into former friends when out and about, and a few will smile and then quickly move on, and most will pretend I am invisible. I remember once seeing a former friend and we actually ended up talking for a while.. and she said she always expected me to come back. She seemed to try to absorb my words as we talked telling her very clearly.. 'no, never..I don't believe in it anymore'.
It's such a great mystery to people because those leaving don't get the decency to explain thier reasons to the masses. You're either in or you're out
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Athanasius
Ten years into my fade I bumped into an old JW friend who I hadn't seen in 20 years. We were both shopping at Costco and he asked me how I was doing and I said fine. Then he asked if I still attended the South Congregation. I said no, that I was and Episcopalian and attended St. Stephen's Episcopal Church. When he heard that, the guy acted like he swallowed his tongue and was choking on it. Then he excused himself and quickly fled the scene.
Interestingly the year before I met my old Latin Teacher from High School. I had witnessed to him a number of times when I was one of his students so he knew me to be a JW. When I told him that I had left the JWs and became an Episcopalian, he said: "I'm not surprised. I always felt you were too smart to stay in that religion."
In my experience it seems that the JWs were shocked and the so called worldly folks weren't surprised at all.
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darthfader
No one really cared, only the JW's who used to pester me for favors and "freebees"...