Not often have I regretted being an inactive JW. Today though, I heard a true story I would have loved to use as an "effective introduction" in a talk.
It seems two southern gentlemen were out frog gigging in a very remote area. Well, as most of you can imagine, it's hard to beat a nice evening giggin' frogs. Unfortunately a fuse in their vehicle failed, prematurely ending this outing. Alas, after a thorough search they realized no spare was available. Within a short time though, these obviously clever McGuyver's discovered that a .22 cal bullet was the same size as the failed fuse! Inserting this into the fuse holder they were soon back a-giggin'.
What they neglected to consider was the reason the fuse failed. As you are probably now guessing, their adventure lasted only long enough for the faulty circuit to overheat to the ignition point of the gunpower in the shell casing. The bullet held by that casing was then propelled into the scrotum of one of those poor souls.
I think this story could be a contender for inclusion among the "great intros of all time" emphasizing the importance of planning for the future as opposed to just thinking about today.
Perhaps it's true that old public speakers never die, they just grow hoarse.
Once I reach the state of permanently being hoarse, I suppose I'll shorten the story to "A couple of gents went out a-huntin' frogs, but only managed to bag a couple of tadpoles".