Well, it's finally over. Last Saturday I talked with an elder about how I feel about the WT. We talked for about 3 hours. The next day he asked my wife what would be a good day to see me again. They came by yesterday(the very first available opportunity), but I wasn't home. They waited in front of the house for a long while(according to my wife) but had left when I arrived. I had been home for about 15 minutes when the doorbell rang. They were pleasant, we chatted a very little and they asked if I thought it was the truth. I said "no". They said, "either you're with us or you're against us." They suggested I write a letter. I told them I wouldn't, because I think it's unethical to shun people for their points of view. They could difellowship me if they wished. They said they would and asked me if I would be going to the judicial meeting. I said "no". They understood. They'll call me to let me know the time and place as a formality. Then they'll let me know their decision. (wonder what'll be????)
I think I still clung just a little bit to the notion that maybe, just maybe, they would understand my position. It hurt, to be honest. I didn't commit adultery, kill someone or rob a bank. As soon as I let them know how I really felt, it was over. They were on me as fast as they possibly could be.
Quess what. Although it hurts a bit, it also feels very good to know that for the first time in my life, I'm true to myself. I'm honest with the world. If they want to shun me , I really don't have that much to say anyway. Although I feel a little anger at times, and cry a bit, I can see blue skies off in the distance and THAT IS A WONDERFUL FEELING!!!
ps I doubt I could have gotten through this as well as I did without the emotional support I've found here. (A special thanks to Fred Hall. In all seriousness, the whacked JWs who come here are proof enough of the poverty of intellect in the WT. )