Cheering up sad souls at the Kingdom Hall

by compound complex 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  compound complex

  Greetings, my friends:

  Wishing you a happy and carefree Sunday.

  I've just returned from the Sunday meeting and visits to the homes of those who missed the uplifting talk and WT study this morning (I'm trying to be positive). My, there are some sad men and women there who really do need cheering up and encouragment not to give up on life. Some of them sit alone and do not mix pre-meeting. In the natural flow of conversation, it appears they are either fed up on many counts or just down-and-out depressed. Not a few are angry with what comes from the platform, i.e., worldly people are rudderless, evil, unhappy and the END IS NEAR!!!!!!!!!

  In any event, being warm and natural and caring is what matters, inside or outside the walls of the KH.

  If you attend meetings, what have you found to be the prevailing spirit? We have a cheerful and loving congregation, but I know some who would not agree with me.

  Thanks.

  CoCo
• 

  Ding

  worldly people are rudderless, evil, unhappy and the END IS NEAR!!!!!!!!!

  Not exactly new light from the faithful and discreet slave, is it?
• 

  compound complex

  Thanks, Ding, for posting.

  Nothing new here. I hate sweeping generalizations, particularly the often heard, "They may seem like nice people, but, if they are not serving Jehovah, then ..."

  CoCo
• 

  Hortensia

  Hello,

  I hope you are doing well!

  Hortensia
• 

  compound complex

  Thanks, Hortensia, for that!

  I am much better, a necessity for what I must do of a Sunday morn! Speech is recovered, but I'm pretty certain that I'll never be a multi-tasker.

  Gratefully,

  CoCo
• 

  compound complex

  bttt
• 

  No Room For George

  Every congregation has their fair share of sad souls, some of which I'm not entirely convinced wouldn't be sad souls even if they weren't associated with JWs in some fashion. They'd be sucking the joy out of life somewhere else. The congregation I'm currently at, and the one that preceded it were for the most part happy congregations. Even on the days when I was grumpy, there wouldn't have been any excuse for me to be at the meeting with a scowl, or a sad disposition. It certainly plays a role into why I'm not ready to make a move just yet.

  In both congregations, there were those like you mentioned, sad and sitting off by themselves, not socializing with anybody before or after the meetings, sitting in their car awaiting their parent(s) or significant other. Many elders might find themselves overwhelmed as on one hand the CO's put pressure on them to shepherd, however at the same time many of these sad souls can at times appear beyond help. You can schedule a shepherding call with them, and inquire what's on their minds and what can you do to help, and they'll stay quiet. Two months later they'll badmouth the elder body to the CO or anybody else who'll listen because the elders didn't do enough to help them.

  It's like walking a minefield with some of these sad souls. Some of these ones are easily offended too, as some of "the friends" will notice their depressed countenance, and go out of their way to invite those ones to gatherings, or the movies, or dinner or whatever. The sad souls will either brush them off or find offense at something that was said to them in the course of conversation. Then they'll show up randomly at a different congregation twenty miles out of the territory they live in, and start badmouthing the previous congregation for the lack of love. It's like clockwork.
• 

  compound complex

  Thank you, No Room For George, for an excellent perspective. !

  You're correct in your statements, and I know some examples of what you've described. Somehow, though, I had failed to see the whole picture until I read your comments. There are always two sides to a story. Elders are not always to blame when problems with certain publishers go out of bounds. Often the conflict remains; there is no resolution.

  Many thanks,

  CoCo
• 

  NewChapter

  It's true that there are some people that will be unhappy regardless of their situation. They suck all of the energy and no one can ever do enough for them. This is discouraging for those that care. But flip it around and you may see another story. What can the elders offer a depressed person? They will never be good enough and they will never be able to do enough. It's sort of the reverse of the destructive people that will never be happy with what others do for them. These people feel like everything THEY do is in vain and never is enough. more, more, more.

  They are encouraged to set aside things that help them relax in favor of doing more. To pass up promotions and well-paying jobs that would help economic strain, in favor of doing more. They are told they must shun family and friends that were always a support and that they love. Oh, and do more if you have a hard time with this aspect of service to god. They are set up to face constant pressure and resitance because just about every normal thing people do is wrong for them to do. And even if it isn't wrong, it's wrong to do it with certain people--like workmates.

  What do you think happens with such constant pressure? Everyday their last nerve is worn down. They sacrifice and sacrifice and are still made to feel inadequate. And because everyone at the hall is smiling and joking (and by the way, the story at home is often very different) then something must truly be wrong with them.

  Then when they are worn out from their difficult day, they can't rest and regroup. They are told it's not the meetings that make them tired, but the world--so the meeting attendence shouldn't suffer. It never ends. So often I just felt the need to rest, but there was always another meeting, field service, a convention or something I SHOULD be doing. If I read a book, I'd think I SHOULD be studying. Only I needed to read the book. My mind needed the rest. Get up, go to work, come home, cook dinner, feed the kids, did you remember to study with them?, get them dressed, take them to the meeting, bring them home tired so they are difficult the next morning, give them baths, clean the house (Christian homes should be the cleanest on the block) try to get a few minutes for yourself, pass out, get up, do it all over again. The weekend comes and the yardwork needs to be done, but there is field service and Suday meeting, get the kids up, no they can't play today, get them dressed . . .

  The takers and complainers used to really make me tired too. But there is very little an elder can offer to help the truly depressed beyond a temporary mood lift from a pleasant visit and nice conversation. The weight soon settles again.

  NC
• 

  compound complex

  Thank you very much, NewChapter, for a further look into what ails/ailed us meeting attenders, we who never did enough. If married, we may've been told by a zealous/unreasonable/driven true-believer mate that we didn't measure up to their understanding of Jehovah's unyielding standards. The whip never stops cracking, whatever the domestic scene.

  The fine posts you and George have put up demonstrate that the sheep suffer for reasons stemming from theocratic tyranny and, too, because some JWs, by nature, are simply difficult people, always complaining.

  You've been very helpful!

  CoCo