were you made to feel guilty if you missed a meeting / service ?

by man in black 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  C6H12O6

  Plenty of times. It's even more fun when brothers, sisters and even the studies interrogate me at the next meeting.
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  discreetslave

  You live your life trying to explain yourself. If you meet someone in the store you feel you need to tell them when you last went out or plan to next.

  Funny thing is reg pioneers tend to have the highest child dropout rate in our circuit
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  chickpea

  an elder, the then "PO", came to my house one sunday
  after i had missed the meeting to finish work on a re-
  modeling project i was doing by myself and was quite
  frankly sick of and just wanted to finish... the DH had
  taken the kids to the mtg.... and when they were asked
  where mom was, they told the truth....

  that guy had the stones to come to my home and tell
  me that missing the meetings for anything not an
  emergency was a sin... A SIN....

  i responded with the words he wanted to hear
  but my attitude was definitely tongue in cheek

  wankers
• 

  Quendi

  I was in a congregation that had a different take on people missing meetings or not going out in the field service. The elders would express genuine concern and they encouraged others in the congregation to do the same. That's not to say that all did so, but it was heartening to get the occasional call or visit from someone who would say they missed me at the meeting and wanted to see if there was any help or assistance I needed. In turn, I would visit others whom I hadn't seen at the hall and ask if there was anything I could do to help. From what I have read on this thread so far, I gather my experience was uncommon. That's too bad.

  Quendi
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  life is to short

  All the time and I never did enough, even when I was pioneering or even being at Bethel, I was always told I could not more and more and more, I just needed to pray about and have more faith.

  LITS
• 

  Walk On

  Guilty? Heck yeah! Although my step dad went further, he would pull me out of bed and throw me into my closet, yelling at me to put my suit on or I wouldn't be living there much longer if I didn't go to meetings... I was 16 or 17! Scary guy, he was 5`10`and 275 lbs... and you know, I went along with that... I thought, in accordance wit htheir teachings I had rebellious and lazy thoughts, so he was doing his best to break me of my sinul and devilish sleeping... :(
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  DagothUr

  Always, even if I was ill. The strange situation was the directions from the slave firmly asked ill people not to attend meetings (it was the swine influenza year) if they showed signs of illness, but the brothers and sisters in the congo were the ones who induced guilt. As soon as I missed a meeting, they called and said a few comforting words but they used that special kind of voice tone that wispers in the background "Stop making silly excuses and move your ass to the KH".
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  Found Sheep

  this was one of those aha moments that took me a few years to do anything about.

  I was fresh out of nursing school working the ER on a Sunday morning I was told I could leave at 9:30 to go to my meeting and come back after. At 9:00 there was a car accident with a two year old girl, not in a car seat. We had to code her, and air transport her to a bigger hostipal. Needless to say I didn't make the meeting, but I went late. I walked into the hall for the Watchtower and an Elder made a comment about my work. I looked at him turned around and went home to let out some pent up emotions from the day.

  I thought to myself... A two year old almost died today and I was there helping her.... or I could have made the meeting?

  Priorities are messed up in that cult

  FS
• 

  yourmomma

  Seemed like the last 5-7 years (post 2000) I was a JW there was an almost fanactical importance placed on meetings. In the mid 90's at me previous hall, if you missed a meeting once in a while no one really said anything. But at the last hall I was at not only did they make a big deal out of it, but there were many times I was told I was "missed" when I was AT the friggin meeting!! Not only that, when I would point that out, they would make an issue of my commenting or "reaching out" and act like if I was not SEEN it didnt count. So my wife and I were really struggling to make meetings with our work schedules, and once it got to the point that even making the meetings wasent enough, and they still counted absence when we were there, we were just like "fu*k this, this is crazy".

  the other crazy thing is it go to the point where there was NO REASON to miss. My wife was on the phone with her boss like 40 mins before the meeting and she noticed she was acting really odd, her speach was slurred and she wasent making any sense. Turns out she was having a minor stroke and passes out. So my wife and I drive over there and find this woman passed out, with her 3 year old just standing there. No one else is in the house. So we call 911 and stay with the child, etc.

  Anyway this caused us to miss the meeting, so when we were at the next meeting, explaining this to an elder, he acted as if what we did was wrong and we still should have made the meeting, and this woman was worldly and the police could have handled the situation.

  It was at this point where I just commented to my wife on the way home "sometimes the people in this religion are like cult members". Of course little did I know at the time, I was right smack in the middle of a friggin cult. LOL!
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  life is to short

  Found Sheep your story makes me want to cry. I just cannot believe the lack of love. As far as the no seat belt for the child there was a sister in the hall we went to. My husband was an elder and the other elders did not want to deal with her so they gave her to my husband.

  She had a baby boy about 9 months old and WOULD NOT PUT HIM IN A CAR SEAT PERIOD! She did not have a car so we were assigned to pick her up and take her to the meetings. She felt she had her right not to put him in a car seat. I was so flipped out. It was our car and I felt I was the one in charge but my husband an elder said the mom had her rights to not belt him in.

  I was so sick with worry the three months we took her four time a week to the meetings and out in service with out the child being in a car seat.

  I was made to feel guilty for her missing meetings if we did not take her. I offered to buy her a car seat and she said NO!!!!!!!! her son did not like to be in one.

  My husband and I got into yelling matches over it but he won out because getting her to the meetings was more important then the life of the child.

  LITS