Was there anything different about you that helped you escape the WT?

by Giordano 42 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Giordano

  For me I know it was because I was a reader.

  I began reading books at the age of 13, this was in the 1950's. Because there were some serious family problems I had two escapes I could count on reading and associating with my friends at the Kingdom Hall.

  As I devoured Steinbeck, Hemingway, Wolf etc. My world view expanded....it had to. At the same time I realized that many of my friends young and old in the congregation never spoke of books or ideas. In most of our gatherings we spoke about other people. Apparently a steady diet of WT writing and meetings dulled the palette and discouraged curiosity. My first doubts about the WTBTS began to surface. I guess the brothers were right when they tried to discourage me from reading.

  As my childhood years went by I continued to read and question but this was pre internet and pre Franz. I was no scholar and was loath to go to the library and read about other religions or compare scriptures. I already felt overwhelmed by my theocratic activities and underwhelmed by the witness life style. Then A friend loaned me a copy of Eric Hoffer's The True Believer and it was the life line I was looking for. Oddly enough it never mentioned the JW'S it didn't have to. It presented disturbing insights into other controlling groups and the reasons for the mindset of the organization and it's devoted followers. Finally I could put words to what had been observations and feelings.

  Later the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich convinced me that god didn't care. It didn't matter if they were Jews, JW's or Gypsies god didn't care, or if he did, he couldn't or wouldn't do anything about human suffering.

  One final book finished off my childhood belief system, James Michener's The Source which is a historical novel of the history of the Jewish people told through an archeological dig. It was an excellent read, very enjoyable as well as informative but two things really struck home. He was very critical of a religion (nameless) that tried to pass off Jehovah as god's name, a position I agreed with as I had always been embarrassed by it's miss use and thought it as ill conceived as inserting science into the name of the 19th century Christian Scientists. Why go out of ones way to play the fool?

  The second thing that struck home was just how far back the history of the Jewish people went and how long they have persevered to protect their beliefs. After reading that book I concluded that the JW's were a poor version of god's people, childish in comparison, too silly to be taken seriously.

  I was out at 23. Decades later I still read daily.
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  Giordano

  Believe it or not this was composed with paragraphs, I have no idea why it condensed.....sorry about that.
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  Mad Sweeney

  You can still edit it.
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  SafeAtHome

  That is such a thought provoking question. Growing up in a JW family, and extended family, I often wondered what is was about my family that was so special that we were so blessed by Jehovah to be one of the few on the narrow path. Now, after having been out for 25 years, I often wonder what it is about me (and my sister, as well as a few cousins) that I am so LUCKY to have seen the light and walked away from this controlling religion. Maybe that is it, it is so controlling and I have deep resentment that I missed out on so much , mainly a college education. I was in high school in the 60's and it was repeatedly pounded into us that 1975 was just around the corner and a college education would be a waste. I was an honor student, taking all college prep courses (why, I don't know) and my teachers were baffled that I was not applying for scholorships that I would surely have qualified for. When I got married for the 1st time in 1972, my mindset was , "Well, at least I will have 3 years to know what it is like to be married and have my own home".

  I always questioned so many things, mainly the unfulfilled prophecies that lead to wasted lives. When we first became witnesses, even though I was only 10, I thought it odd that there were so many older couples in the KH who had no children and so many older, single men. It was later I learned how in their youth they were discouraged from marrying or having children, just as my generation was from higher education. And, I never really felt a close connection, deep down. I was always embarrassed in high school when I couldn't stand for the pledge or alma mater or anthem. I didn't wear it as a badge of honor of my faith, but rather an embarrassment I didn't understand. Later, as a woman, I ALWAYS resented the diminishment of women and their intelligence and their abilities. I saw so many strong, resourceful women subject themselves to real a**holes with inferior intelligence. I personally knew of a few who even wrote their husbands parts on the service meeting because the men were not capable of doing it themselves.

  When it came time for me to walk away, I did so without a look back of regret. There was just so much about the authoritative nature of this religion that made me bristle and made me feel empty. The feeling of freedom, even after 25 years, is something I am thankful for everyday. The internet and sites like this only strengthen my resolve that I am indeed one of the fortunate to have left.
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  OUTLAW

  The Cannon Helped..

  

  .......................... ...OUTLAW
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  d

  I also read a lot and had many questions but very few answers.
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  Bungi Bill

  Ironically, it was my being an avid reader that first drew me to the Witnesses. Later, though, when doubts began to develop, it was reading that helped draw me away - as in the case of Giordano.

  This was prior to the Internet, so very little was available - even in the public libraries. Fortunately, the job I had involved a considerable amount of travelling. Wherever I went, I always made a point of checking out the public library, and reading anything they had on Jehovahs Witnesses.

  No that there was a lot!

  - Schnell's 30 Years a Watchtower Slave. Hardly an unbiased work, but the author was highly disgusted with the WTS, and took no pains to conceal that fact!

  - Stevenson's 1975 -Year of Doom? was a revealing work, written by somebody who had served at all levels up to "Circuit Servant" - and whose perspective was greatly altered once he was able to view "the organisation" from the outside.

  - Penton's Apocalypse Postponed was another informative read.

  (At that stage, I had never heard of Raymond Franz's Crisis of Conscience).

  Apart from being an avid reader, the only other characteristic that may have helped is my stubborn streak that comes out when I feel I have been unfairly treated, messed around - or just generally been taken for a ride!

  Bill.
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  sprintcmp

  I too was an avid reader. I remember that my mother would only allow me to have school textbooks and "theocratic material". I had to sneak library books home. If she caught sight of one, she would say, "Don't bring those old library books in here." Imagine that.

  Well..reading opened up my world so much. I grew up in a small town in Mississippi and in addition to being a JW my world was very small. I do remember a pioneer couple who came down from NY and for some reason gave us boxes of toys which included some books...Nancy Drew, The Bobbsey Twins and such. I devoured them.

  As much as I loved to read, I never enjoyed any of the "theocratic material" except for the Aid Book. It was much like an encyclopedia as I remember. I too was always embarrassed by the restrictions: flag salute, no school activities, etc. The control was unbearable with reading as an only escape.

  I can't say that reading is the common denominator because I think there are many "in the truth" who do a lot of research, albeit of their own material. I guess the difference is, the controlling nature of the org doesn't bother them as much or they see it as some sort of protection.
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  james_woods

  Science.

  I liked it and learned more and more of it in school.

  It was pretty obvious to me (even as a 12 year old kid) that all biological life on earth - including the fossils - was older than about 49,000 years.
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  Ill wind blowing

  I was too curious as well as intolerant of manipulation.