Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!! (page 2)

TotallyADD

Our condolences to the lost of your father. You are a very brave person. To go to a fake cult funeral. I remember quite well the last witness funeral I was at. Only the so called worldly people gave my wife and I comfort. The witnesses could not understand why we were so hurt and sad at the lost of our friend. Only one person in the cult came up to us and try to comfort us. After that experience I vowed to totally leave this cult. I have never seen such a lack of human compassion. All anyone could say to us was will now that he is gone you can go out in service again and go to all the meetings. Both my wife and I were in shock and traumatized by our friends death and nobody could see it. All they could see was he is dead now you guys can now resume your cult training. What a strong person you are to look at those people straight in the eye and show them the love you had for your dad. The cult don't get jokes they are to ignorant to understand it. So don't worry what they think. Sorry for your lost now comes the time to heal. I hope as time goes on your thoughts about your dad will give you joy. Totally ADD

NewChapter

I'm sorry you had to sit through this. I'm sorry that even during a time of extreme grief these tiny minded people only knew how to follow rules. What kind of danger did it pose for them to simply acknowledge you and your loss?

But you are free now and they aren't. You can move on to sincere and healing grieving. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure the memorial just unveiled another layer of grief and reality for you. Those things tend to bring home how final the situation is, and it hurts. My mother died 20 years ago and I still miss her. Give yourself time and rest.

Take good care of yourself.

NC

Reopened Mind

Coffee House Girl,

I've been thinking about you all day and wondering how it went for you at your dad's memorial service at the KH. Thanks for posting an update. I pity your poor mom. She walked a very fine line between her WT trained conscience and her authentic personality of being your mother. Sounds like she still has some feelings for you, but alas and alack it looks like the cult is winning. Give her time. You and I both know the time is only as short as our life spans.

At least you had some support at the service from your brother, your non JW relatives, and the one aunt who gave you a hug. And when you get back home you have Coffee Shop Guy.

I can sympathise with losing someone who was close to you, then not having your grief even acknowledged. Last year I lost a very dear friend and an aunt to whom I was very close.

So so sorry for your loss.

Many hugs ((((CHG))))

With love,

Reopened Mind

Coffee House Girl

Man in Black,

here is the poem...I looked thru dad's books that he read- this came from a book he had since 1952 (& it was signed by the original author)

What did the JW's find offensive??? it was the reference to Whiskey and "not dying" (WTF)

Oh, I would not die in winter

When whiskey punches flow,

And the pretty girls are skating

O’er the fields of ice and snow;

When the sassige nuts are thick,

Oh who would think of dying,

Or even being sick?

I would not die in the springtime,

And miss the turnip greens,

And the pretty song of the little frogs,

And the skylark’s early screams;

When the little birds are warbling,

And the ‘taters’ gin to sprout,

And the turkeys all are gobbling-

Oh who would then peg out?

I would not die in summer,

And leave the garden sass,

The roast lamb and the buttermilk,

And the cool place in the grass;

I would not die in summer,

When everything’s so hot,

And leave the Whiskley juleps-

Oh no! I’d rather not!

I would not die in autumn,

With peaches fit for eating,

When wavy corn is getting ripe,

And candidates are treating;

For these and other reasons

I’d not die in the fall,

And since I’ve thought it over,

I would not die at all!

Coffee House Girl

LV101 & NC: Thank you for your well wishes and telling me to take time to grieve and rest- that is really the best comfort to me now :)

TotallyADD & Reopened: My thoughts are also with you both now having read more about your stories...I am sad for both of you, yet happy you are here on JWN to help people like me get through this: your story does help- thank you for sharing it

CHG

chickpea

love that poem!!

i take offense that there are those taking offense!

ahhhh chg, it is a task one never welcomes,
this one of mourning loss of loved ones,
but it must be a relief to be able to do it
in your own terms, in your own way, with
special understanding about your father's
real feelings about things .... godspeed, mate....

Octarine Prince

Was it really the poem,

or the "evil" girl who brought it?

Your worldly Cooties overwhelmed them:

they wondered if they caught it!

Or was it that they knew

everyone would determine

that poem made more sense

than that whole lame-ass sermon!

OnTheWayOut

Great poem. Sorry to hear how some treated you, but great that you are adjusting well to thinking at least what they can all do.

Please do remember to mourn properly now that the Dog and Pony Recruitment Show is finished.

A big hug to you.

jwfacts

I am sorry to hear of your loss and the difficult funeral, but glad to hear you were able to find comfort in your personal memories about your father.

EmptyInside

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. HUGs to you.

And I'm sorry of the response you received. In my old congregation,most at the very least,expressed their sympathy at a funeral,to an inactive or even disfellowshipped person.

Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

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