by What Now? 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
For the record.....I'd like to say that when I bought my minivan I was very embarrased. Now...2 years later I love it! When you're in your 30's with kids, being cool is trumped by being practical. You wouldn't believe how roomy it is! Once you go minivan you'll never go back is what they say.....
Or is that just what I say because I am trying to talk myself into believing that I am still cool and my minivan is a chick magnet?
Having a baby for some people is a big , huge thing ... and they decline for being in special service, i have seen a lot of ex-bethelites in their 40's and 50's feeling sad for not having children.
"My time belongs to me, I vacation with my husband, I choose to have a career, I am not forced to drive and SUV or a minivan ( that sports car is fine) and I can eat out whenever I like, my life is still mine.
It drives me insane when people tell me how selfish, that is because, it is only selfish if I HAD kids and felt this way. ..."
FirstLastName, when I get THAT line from people - which happens VERY rarely, by the way - I remind the person that the one underlying factor behind famines, wars, dangerous pollutants and high pollution levels, vanishing species, fished-out oceans, miserable economic conditions, illiteracy, and yes, even many death tolls from natural disasters, is OVERPOPULATION.
If they persist, I point out that anymore, with the problems facing the planet, HAVING children is more selfish than NOT having children.
That usually shuts them up...
Also, your point about not having given birth to a servant, and not being your parents' slave - very valid. Unfortunately, for many people, that IS their primary reason to have a child - I'm talking about Third-World countries where they need more babies to work in the fields, but that ALSO applies to many American farm families...!! "Pop out another field hand, Ma!!"
Zid
Cult Classic - it was not my intention to offend anyone here - I have enjoyed sharing my opinion on this board, but it was never my intention to offend. I could have perhaps written that better after my second cup of coffee?
I only meant to say that I totally respect why some people have children and they should totally respect why I choose not to regardless of what your choice is.
:)
I have no regrets in having the two I had.
I loved being a mommy. But it's not for everyone.
All the single parenting problems mentioned above are perfectly valid reasons to not have kids, because I went through all those problems.
I think some of us choose to make kids our focus and the kidless ones who choose to be kidless choose to have a different focus.
It's all good.
Personally, I favor adoption over having one's own kids the natural way, as there are so many out there that needs good parents.
FirstNameLast
Your post wasn't offensive at all. I hope my reply didn't come across as if I was offended. I wasn't. I wholeheartedly agreed with everything you said. I thought you expressed yourself clearly. I think there is room for happiness either way.
I wasn't being facetious when I said nursing homes have lonely parents in them. They really do! I was just agreeing that your position not to have kids to service you was a smart move. Because maybe they'll grow up and not do it anyway... lol.
I hope I made myself clear. Please let me know. I'd hate to have something hanging between us. Especially when I agreed with you... lol
I know that over the history of JWs this 'do not have children' has been a common thread/idea that has persisted however it seems many JWs do not pay attention to it.
For me personally, I don't ever remember being told this specifically but this is how my young mind thought of it. What if my child needed a blood transfusion or organ transplant? Going ahead with these things would cause my parents to shun us. As well, I did not want my children to have to go through Armageddon. Fear was what convinced me not to have them. What was the point if the world is such a bad place and getting worse by the second? The young mind is very impressionable and the damage these false notions have had on people is shameful.
What a mind-job this organization does on people.
My parents were censured for marrying after WWII. No one in their NJ KH would talk to them. My father, and eventually, my uncles left Bethel to get married. It was a scummy decision. My mom had to buy her own wedding ring. Her wedding dress was a dog print. Not exactly what a Cinderella crazy daughter wants to here.
Children distracted from the WT. Now in normal life who hates babies and puppies? It is an instinctual drive. A drive that had to originate with God. Certainly it not beyond his power to oturn off the hormones, brain chemisrry, whatever, that impels people to want children.
My mother could not liive wihout children. Sadly, my father would have preferred no children. His reasons were not field service but selfishness. He wanted to receive all the baby attention.
Finally, I am reading Hassan's books now. Hatred of children reveals much.
WTS spreads their disease in many forms and this is one of them. When JWs hear from youth onwards how horrible Armageddon will be on the people especially for children to see, how wicked this world is, and what about possibility of blood transfusion or seeing a loved one die before the parents - would you want to have kids in this evil system of things? These talks are similar to higher education and on a smaller level to marriage. When these kids grow up with the imminent end just around the corner many choose to have no children. But as long as these people keep believing the end is just around the corner then it's alright in their minds because they can have an excuse for this as the end is just around the corner. Now, if these people wake up and see that they've been conned, it's natural reaction to be totally pissed off in giving up on children for this cult.
While Rutherford era may be gone, we still heard these talks from time to time and similar discouragement from some JWs.
I personally knew of a few newly married JWS who said they wouldn't have children in this system of things.
My own brother did this with his wife, after 10 years of marriage they realized the end wasn't coming as soon as they once thought
so they went ahead and had two boys.
Those boys are in their late 20's now, thankfully they are not JWS, they saw and witnessed the BS for themselves. .
