Many years ago when I first came upon boards like this I wanted to know how to cope with my new status as an exJW.
In particular I was concerned with how to handle my still devout JW wife and three children.
I was given a lot of advice – some potentially harmful, like ‘leave your wife’ but many recommended patience.
That was ten years ago. Over the next decade I allowed my wife to take our children to all the meetings and inculcate them however she wished. I knew it was a risk but I did not want to appear to be the stereotypical ‘opposing mate’ and reinforce JW propaganda.
My plan was this:
Be a good example, show my family that a ‘worldly person’ can be a happy and moral person.
Always be reasonable and be prepared to defend my beliefs in a spirit of respect.
Teach my children how to think and question – done in a non-threatening generic way.
Always be there for my children and not judge them.
Occasionally talk to my children, when their mum wasn’t around, to see what they believed and raise some questions in their minds.
My son Benjamin was given extra attention at the hall because his grand-parents were big cheeses in the congregation (granddad was PO). He was given inculcation lessons over and above what ‘normal’ JW children would be given, possibly to counter any evil influence from me at home.
When my son reached 13 he told me he wanted to go to Bethel. I was devastated. I thought ‘this is it, I’ve lost another member of my family to the borg’.
Then, a few weeks ago I asked him what the meeting was about. He said he couldn’t remember because he’s stopped listening – the meetings are so dull. I also asked him about his plans for the future – he now wants to go to college! I asked him about possible conflicts with his beliefs and he said, ‘what beliefs – you don’t think I still believe all that crap do you?’
My son now goes to the meetings just to keep his mum happy. But he is no longer interested in their teachings.
They have lost. Despite years of indoctrination, they have failed to win the heart of even this little boy.
From what he says many children feel the same in the congregation (though they would never dare admit it to their parents) and are just biding their time until they are old enough to walk away.
The religion is bleeding from both ends now, it won’t be long before the first worldwide figure shows decline.
YES!!!!!!!!
Dean.
So if God doesn't exist who pops up the next Kleenex?