I think the harddest part of all this process of fading is losing friends .... Ive been JW all my life and my all my close friends are JW ... im sad
Thinking about loosing my friends ....
by Dudu 20 Replies latest jw friends
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
I used to have hundreds of "friends" when I was in bethel. I have several "friends" and family in my home congregation. In fading, I might hang on to very few friends and family. It's all part of my grieving and mourning process.
But I've already made several new friends. Although I have known them only briefly, I've been able to be incredibly honest with them... and they like and respect me. Not because the Watchtower says we're supposed to be friends with these other people that spend hours each week in the same building. They respect me for what I've been through and what I'm doing with my life now. They NEVER tell me that I need to "readjust my thinking" or spend more time recruiting for a cult. Sure, there are plenty of jerks out there. But there are lots of really nice people that want to be our friends.
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agent zero
can't deny it sure is a sad process.
but even if you hang on and stay in during your fade, your friend amount and quality will drop quickly, as you find yourself continually disagreeing with their ideology, and they also subconsciously sense your disengagement in it.
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Dudu
It is true, the friendship inside of the JW is not so unconditional .... also, new ppl in my life wants to know me for who i really am , and not for how many hours i spend in service .....
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MrFreeze
Although it sucks, true friends dont care what your religious beliefs are.
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Alfred
What Billy said...
we all know that there are some really bad people in "the world"... but there are also millions of genuinely friendly people who are honest, law-abiding and truthful... a lot more than 7 million, that's for sure...
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Diest
The other great thing about new friends is that no group of men can ever tell you to not hang out with them, on pain of disfelloshiping. I have a hard time talking to one of my parents anymore....I love them, but I cant handle all of the talk about what the society says when I veiw it as silly. It is a hard process to grieve those that you have lost, but the blow is softened by the new people you bring into your life. Better to do it now than 5,10,15 years from now when it is that much harder to make new, and lasting friends.
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Dudu
Thank you folks for all the support :)
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leavingwt
You will eventually reach the point at which you realize that people who love Jehovah more than you are not your real friends. They are spies. They only have the ability to befriend obedient JWs. If you do not fit that description, you are nothing to them. Nothing.
You'll also eventually realize that ONE real friend is worth more than 100 conditional friends.
Further, you'll quickly discover that your core values are so superior to that of JWs, that you have very little in common with them.
It's particularly painful when it comes to close family members. Still, much of this applies to them, as well, UNFORTUNATELY.
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Darkside Blues
Echoing others above that you're not losing much except fair-weather friends. True friends don't ditch you simply because you decide to change your beliefs.